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Give and get support around quitting

bkaylor
Member

Today is the day (again) My Story

To start off, I will introduce myself as some background info. I am a 29 year old male living in Michigan. I have a wife and a 3 year old little boy. As a young child I was diagnosed with ADD and later in life I was diagnosed with ADHD. I was on medications for this throughout my entire teens and then stopped when I finished high school because it caused a lot of eating issues and turn me into a robot which hurt my social life as an introvert.

I started smoking when I was 12 with some friends thinking it was cool and that is when I developed the addiction. It was easier to quit when I was younger because I couldn't actually buy them and getting into trouble with the law forced me to stay home on probation in my mid teens. As soon as I turned 18 I went to smoking and was a full time smoker for 10+ years.

In stating all of this, it is now apparent that cigs have been apart of my life for quite sometime and I engraved it into my daily routine which has made quitting extremely challenging for me. I can't tell you how many times I have attempted to quit and failed. I've tried cold turkey, patches and Chantix. My longest quit was exactly one year while on Chantix and I replaced cigs with running.

And then ... vaping got big and I decided to go to that as a safer alternative since I missed the novelty of smoking. That has actually made quitting even harder for me. I know that I have the right mindset and continually want to quit for my health, to save money from the $7 per day pack of cigs (which I smoke a pack or more a day).

Last night, I was on my deck at my wife and I's new house we just moved into and my son approached me while smoking. I had to be stern with him to stay away from me while smoking my cigarette and he just looked at me confused. I said "Buddy you cannot be next to daddy when he is smoking. I don't want you to get sick, I said." That was when a red flag was raised for me. I felt horrible that I was exposing him to this crap and that I would be setting a bad example for him on day to struggle with this addiction the same way I did. Just writing this brings tears to my eyes thinking about him and this addiction.

I really want to quit smoking but i struggle so much with the routine and the habit of smoking. I would love to hear some tips from people who have quit and struggled as much as I have. I always think to myself, "I see so many people live their lives normally without cigs ... how do they do it?"

I was supposed to quit last night but this morning I was awoken to an intense craving and bought a pack and smoke 1 cig. When I got to work I put my nicotine patch on and I am calling this my quit day and hopefully this will be the last time. Now I am here typing this message out to random strangers on the internet in hope to build a strong sense of community with people who struggled and/or are struggling with this right now. 

My name is Brandon and today I officially quit smoking. Please HELP! 

30 Replies
Barbscloud
Member

Welcome to the Ex Brandon and congrats on the first day of your quit.  If you haven't done so already, educate yourself about nicotine addiction by reading posts on this site and create a quit plan. My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX   It's not too late.  I skipped both of these steps in the past and failed every time.  I used aids to quit also, but remember you still have to do the work that accompanies them.

This is a journey and we're here to share it with you .   Reach out anytime you need encouragement or want to share your experience.  We are here to share in your success.

You can do this--remember it's one day at time.

Barb

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to the community!

This quit thing takes effort.  It takes education and commitment to not smoke another cigarette NO MATTER WHAT.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.   The better you get at this, the higher your chances of success.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you at all times from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

 

An  important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.”  I think you will be amazed at how much you don't know about this addiction.  This easy and entertaining read provided a world of good information about it, most of which I was not aware.  I credit it in large part with my success at quitting.   You can search for it online or at your local library. 


You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

 

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.


Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

indingrl
Member

 Brandon

RoseH
Member

I am going to send you a Quit Kit in a private message...  It will help you make a plan to quit and keep it!  Welcome!  Rosemary

sweetplt
Member

Hi and Welcome to Ex’s...bkaylor 

Glad you found us...the people above me, gave you some good advice, do the readings and the work...

Also, keep close to our support site for help and let us talk you out of smoking before you make the choice to smoke...

We are in this journey together...it isn’t easy, but it is doable...Happy Friday ~ Colleen 606 DOF 

marciem
Member

You've gotten great advice already, and I'm hoping you're reading and learning all you can about this addiction.

I just want to say... quit NOW, don't miss another minute of your child's/family's life because you had to go off and smoke somewhere.  It's getting more and more difficult to find places to smoke in peace.

Don't to what I did, and find yourself stuffing your life into moments between cigarettes, not fully enjoying your family because you want to escape to smoke... things like that.  Once those times are gone, they're gone and so are the cigarettes.

It is soooo very worth the time and effort you put in now, and you won't always want to smoke.  I have moments, fleeting moments, but no big deal it is so easy NOT to smoke now!  Hard at first, no question, no  matter what method you use.

bkaylor
Member

Yeah that is a good way to put it. Never thought about it that way honestly.

Everytime I would finish a cig I was never fully there with my family because I was thinking about the next time I go out or I was warping our schedule so I could smoke.

Thanks for popping in with your words of encouragement. Very much appreciated!

breakthecurse
Member

Congratulations bkaylor‌! I’m quitting today too... or should I say again for the 18th time this year.

Its hard. It sucks. But you can succeed. For your son. For yourself.

bkaylor
Member

Congrats dude! Happy for you and I hope we can both be successful at kicking the habit.