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Guilt and Regret

I, like so many of us who have severe COPD, am often filled with guilt and regret for smoking. But this regret and dread just adds to my suffering often leaving me in a state of anxiety and depression. Today I came across this article I want to share with you. Yes, we smoked. But that is not the end all of the story. Here you can see that some of us are predisposed for lung disease. I didn't know this and it has helped me to have more Self Compassion and understanding of how I got this awful disease and how I can be kind to myself for smoking without knowing the rest of the story...

If Smoking Results in COPD, Why Hasn't the Incidence Gone Down? | American Council on Science and He... 

Now, this isn't an excuse but it is a reason - and I did quit smoking just 6 days after diagnosis. I wish I had never smoked but I did. I wish I had never got COPD but I did. Now, I just have to make the best of my Life Quality that I can. I hope I can bring some comfort to others who suffer from COPD - remember, You did quit! That's Self Care!

Live Long and Prosper!

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12 Replies
indingrl
Member

 

YoungAtHeart
Member

This is very interesting!  Who knew?  It might also explain why not all smokers get COPD.

Thomas, might I offer some loving advice?  Spending time on guilt and regret is not productive - at all.  You did the absolute best that you could.  You cannot change the past; you can only do what you can going forward to keep yourself as healthy as you can.  You have helped many, many others here with the knowledge you have gained and shared.  We are forever in your debt for that.

There is a saying I like, "Don't look back; you aren't going that way."

I hope you might try to adopt that way of thinking.  You DESERVE to look to the future!

XOXOXOX

Nancy

Sootie
Member

While I would never recommend wallowing in regret and guilt.................we all do need to reflect on the things we do regret......learn from them and move on with faith and hope.

You, my dear friend, have taken a "regret" and turned it into something so beautiful, something so helpful to everyone on this site and I would bet everyone in your life.

SuzyQ411
Member

I found this scientific article to be most interesting. Alhough the answer as to whether or not certain individuals are pre-disposed to COPD, whether they smoke or not, has not yet been determined, the door has been opened to explore this worthy question. Thanks for sharing!

Giulia
Member

Kind of in line with what Nancy said.... if you hadn't gotten COPD, hadn't quit smoking, hadn't come to this site we wouldn't have YOU here to share your knowledge and to help us learn.  What you have offered us all here is... invaluable.  Not only the open, beautiful heartfelt experience of your journey quitting smoking, but dealing with depression also.  When you think of the "what ifs," I think of the "what if" you weren't here for us all.  Ya know?  When you think of the "I wish I had never..."  I think "if he hadn't, he wouldn't be here, but he did and he used what he has learned to benefit others."  Do not doubt, Thomas, that you are bringing comfort to others suffering from COPD.  And do not doubt that those tough experiences you share with are not being 'received.'  You have taught me more than you will ever know.  About so many things.  But in my case you've taught me about the human heart and the willingness to share it.  Now I'll go look at that article...   

SuzyQ411
Member

Regret - 8 Ways to Move On | Psychology Today 

Found this online-- perhaps it would be helpful to you Thomas Thomas3.20.2010‌...

I'm gonna dig into it too!

(Guilt and regret are my double middle names~)

Even if you may not be going through the self-hate the article speaks of, the 8 steps to resolving guilt and regret and / or  the four quotes on the value of mistakes may be of help to you in moving on... ?

~ Suzy  

Barbscloud
Member

I've been saying this and have posted before that smoking is not the only cause of COPD.  I'm happy you found this article and it allowed you to be kinder to yourself.

You can also develop COPD if you’re exposed to chemicals and fumes in the workplace. Long-term exposure to air pollution and inhaling dust can also cause COPD.

In developing countries, along with tobacco smoke, homes are often poorly ventilated, forcing families to breathe fumes from burning fuel used for cooking and heating.

There may be a genetic predisposition to developing COPD. Up to an estimated 5 percentTrusted Source of people with COPD have a deficiency in a protein called alpha-1-antitrypsin. This deficiency causes the lungs to deteriorate and also can affect the liver. There may be other associated genetic factors at play as well.

elvan
Member

Dearest Thomas,

There have been so many times that l have felt overwhelmed with guilt for smoking for so long & for all of the damage l have done to my lungs. I  STOLE time from my family to go smoke & now l am stealing time from them because l have most certainly shortened my life & they all worry more than anyone ever should worry about a family member. I had pneumonia when l was 9 years old. I remember my mother telling me then that l should NEVER smoke because my lungs were obviously weak. 
l started smoking when l was 17 because l wanted to fit in with the crowd that smoked. I was a straight A student who was also an athlete. I HAD a “crowd” that l fit in with already but the smokers were so much more “interesting.” I am not really sure that l will ever completely forgive myself for that.

As this disease progresses, l find that my normal outlook on life gets more & more sad. I don’t sit around & cry, l just SLEEP...just about all of the time. That, of course, leads to more self disgust. I have NEVER felt as defeated as l do these days, EVERY day. It is hard for me to maintain interest in anything. I have been called back to work starting in August & l am TERRIFIED. I NEED to work but l am not sure that l can handle it, physically. I have not been able to handle wearing a mask, l go into a seriously disturbing panic mode thinking l cannot breathe. I certainly cannot work WITHOUT one. All staff are required to wear masks, students are NOT.

l have read & REread all if your blogs and many of them have fed my spirit, my very soul more than once. I thank you for each word of encouragement. I thank you for all you have so generously shared with me & everyone here about this horrible disease. I thank you for your research into COPD & for all you have taught me & anyone who wanted to know more. You have given so much to so many over & over again.

Thank you, dear, dear man,

Ellen

Barbscloud
Member

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