Irritability and nicotine withdrawal

[kdilbeck]

Hello,  I have never been a smoker but my husband has been for over 35 years.  He quit about 2 months ago and so far he is using the patch.  My question is when he switches from the higher dose to the lower dose does the difference in the amount of nicotine that he receives cause the irritability and emotional roller coasters every time he goes down in the amount of nicotine?  He is on the 7mg now.  This is his 3rd step and final step.  He has been on this one about 2 weeks or maybe 3 and the irritability is crazy.  Its bad enough with the covid-19 and everything else that goes with it.  Not to mention we have both had to work through this - he is a truck driver and i am in waste removal so we are considered essential in our state.  I am just looking for some advice on what to expect and what to chalk up to the nicotine.  Thanks for your help.

[Barbscloud]

Good morning.  Irritability is a common withdrawal symptom.  Nicotine replacement may help to reduce some withdrawal symptoms, but it may not eliminate them totally. 

The psychological symptoms of nicotine withdrawal include:

• a strong desire or craving for nicotine
• irritability or frustration
• low mood
• difficulty concentrating
• anxiety
• mood swings

There are things he can do to help with the  psychological symptoms, such as deep breathing, exercising, etc.

You could suggest them to him.

Congrats to him on his 2 month quit.  That's quite an accomplishment.

Barb

[kdilbeck]

Thanks for the reply any advice helps at this point.

[kdilbeck]

There was two replies and i am not sure what happened to the first one but it did help a lot.  Thank you for your reply. We have been married for 32 years and have been together since i was 16 so i sometimes forget where he ends and i begin but i do understand your reply and that is the best thing i can do right now for him.  Will toughen up the skin and let things roll for a bit. He has done so well and i can only imagine how hard it is.  Thanks again for that reply.

[Slowonder]

Oh good, thanks, kdilbeck.  I reread what I'd written and felt maybe I was over-stepping. Maybe reading too much into what you'd asked and giving unsolicited advice. I took down my reply to be polite, but I'll repost below so it'll be visible still:

Hi, I'm not sure how to answer this but didn't want to see you kept hanging either! It's tough to answer because you're writing about your experience of someone else's quit journey. I'm going out on a limb, so please take what helps and leave the rest, but maybe talking to your husband and focusing on yourself are possibilities? Perhaps you can ask him if he's experienced irritability because of stepping down or off the patch. If you want to help, maybe ask him how you can best do that. If you are comfortable with what he says then do it. As far as focusing on you, you know he's going through a lot right now so maybe you can have thick skin for awhile and just know that his irritability isn't personal. And if you need something from him during this time there's no reason to not ask for it. He might surprise you. What you don't need to do is sacrifice yourself while he quits. Your happiness isn't dependent on his moods, right? If you take care of you, do what you need to do, you'll be a great example for him too.

[maryfreecig]

It's also important to know (in my opinion)  that you are not responsible or the cause of for his behavior, moods, feelings, etc. Your feelings matter, too. It's not all about the quitter. Can you turn the responsibility over to him 100%? Because only he can do it. Of course you are hoping the best for him in his quit, but give yourself a break and don't get sucked into his pain. It's an addiction and it is beatable. If he gets impossible, try imagining the day he is finally well. Right now, he is as nutty as you think he is (ur my assumption). Just my thoughts and they are worth only a few pennies, around here it is said--take what you need and leave the rest.

Final thought, when I quit, I was mad with the world. All I could think about was my happy former life as a smoker. That kind of thinking was born out of dependency/addiction. 6.7 years smober now and I got over that state of mind. 

[kdilbeck]

Thanks so much and congrats on not smoking for 6.7 years.  That is wonderful and i do hope my husband can say the same in the future.  I am going about it one day at a time as i am sure he is as well.  We both work so the stress of working through a pandemic and quitting smoking on him has to be really hard.  I am very happy and proud that he is doing so well and i am chalking up the irritability to quitting and this pandemic.  Thanks for your advice i really do appreciate it.

[maryfreecig]

I'm glad you found Ex and asked your question! Sometimes we just need to connect with others. Covid 19 is a royal pain in the butt--something useful has to come out of this once we get through it!!!

I appreciate the congrats.

[PrimeNumberJD]

I quit one time using patches and I'm glad to hear he is near the end! My wife has never smoked, so a lot of times it was hard for me to talk about the difficulties. We don't have as many years, but we have been married since 20 years old (17 years this Dec) so, as you probably know, we say what we mean and don't beat around any bushes. She would say, "if you want to quit, just don't smoke anymore!" Her lack of understanding made it difficult to connect to her in a time I probably needed her the most. I found when I forced the communication and found a way to express the difficulty. I asked her to imagine not eating anything sweet for a day, then for a week, then for a lifetime...we finally connected. Now, I'm not saying this is your situation or he is me, just trying to identify something that helped me get quit. 

Now, to stop rambling and answer the question you asked. Yes, each step can experience a decent amount of withdraw symptoms as the body becomes used to the new levels of nicotine. Patches, in my own personal opinion, are the most difficult way to quit having done so by several means. It minimizes and delays withdraw but drags the process out. So, kudos to his methods and sticking with it!