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Give and get support around quitting

Can willpower be a good thing?

Can willpower be a good thing?

I'm at the beginning of my journey to recover from nicotine addiction.  I'm reading Allan Carr's book and feel excited and hopeful for my quit day. I love reading other people's posting on the EX site.  It's good to know there are people like me who understand the perils of overcoming nicotine addiction.  I'm amazed to read many people have the same fear of failing and overwhelming anxiety about stopping for good as I do.  I used to believe that no-one has smoked as long as I have (44 yrs) I thought I would never be able to stop, because I've smoked for my whole life, and my smoking behaviors were impossible to overcome.  As Carr's book says, nicotine ruled my life.

I've quit so many times before, I've lost count.  Historically, I relapse by the 3rd or 4th month.  When I think back about why I started smoking again it was for reasons that were insignificant, minor, ridiculous and absurd.  If I can relapse from simple daily life circumstances like being bored or annoyed, then how will I face more difficult challenges like anger, loss or sadness?  Reading about other people's experiences gives me hope that I can quit too.

I want to share a book I read, "Willpower" by Roy Baumeister & John Tierney (2011).  I understand the rule about plagiarize, but I have cited the work and have not included direct quotes.  I'm certainly not referring to the white-knuckle ride of forcing yourself to quit smoking by sheer will.  We all know that doesn't work.  However, I did come across some interesting info that makes a lot of sense to me.

Willpower can be depleted.  Concentrate on one task at a time like quitting smoking.  Don't try to diet, write that novel, remodel your kitchen or put in new landscaping.  All of these tasks can deplete your willpower. When you quit smoking concentrate on the task alone. You become less efficient at one task if you create too many, and, as a result, can fail at all of them.  Beware of making too many decisions at once because you will favor options with short term gains and delayed costs.  For example, getting heart disease from smoking.

Ration your willpower.  Too much in a short period of time will result in less resolve, determination and possible failure. 

4 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

Good points are made - all of them!

Thanks for sharing!

Nancy

elvan
Member

Welcome to EX, l have many failed quits in my past but that was before l got to EX & l really learned about nicotine addiction & accepted what it had already stolen from me. I had to accept that quitting is a journey & not an event. I had to learn to deal with my feelings without trying to stuff them down by smoking. I smoked for 47 years but have more than six years of freedom thanks to this site. My mantra when l quit was NOPE, Not One Puff Ever. I got that from this site & it was so easy to remember & remind myself that there is no such thing as one.

Ellen

sweetplt
Member

Hi and Welcome to Ex’s VEGASLUCKYLADY 

Great first blog...I think you are on your way in this journey...it really does help to educate yourself when quitting smoking.  I lost two big quits (not counting so I quit a day ~ to me those weren’t really quit)...I learned from them, but I put them behind me...and when I did this third and last quit I wanted it to be different.  I changed a lot of the way I thought about smoking.  This takes time and part of this journey is growing and learning....I found the support site here to be so helpful and I enjoy encouraging other’s on this journey...You can do it...stay close to us...and we can get you past the 3 to 4 month spiral back to smoking...Happy Sunday and a Happy Mother’s Day ~ Colleen 524 DOF 

maryfreecig
Member

Willpower? Well, I did have to be a disciplinarian when I quit. I said NO a lot. I forced myself to learn new behaviors (as recommended) instead of smoking. And I dished out rewards as earned. And when I was miserable and stubborn I bribed myself like an exasperated parent might. The bribes worked each time.  It had to be that way for me--because the addiction got the best of me. I didn't know how not to smoke--how to really let it go. Overruling addiction and dependency was a conscious decision that I made time and again. 

Welcome to Ex. Yes, you can quit. Common wisdom around here: quitting is a journey, not an event--also, quitting is a one day at a time journey--also, regarding advice and what-have-you, always take what you need, leave the rest.

Quit Kit aka Tool Box 

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/docs/DOC-1820-helpful-blogs-discussions-comments-videos-links-inf... 

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