Community
I’ve smoked since I was 12 and have tried to quit a hundred times at least. I’m on Wellbutrin and nicotine gum. The nicotine is NOT my issue-I get to this point of a quit-7-14 days in (I’m at 9) and the mental cravings get crazy! I start bargaining with myself about getting a pack and sneaking like one a day which turned back into 10 a day. I have never gotten over this hump. I have to this time. I have to. Can anyone help kick in on this discussion?
I missed it, too - thanks for bringing it to my attention!
And by the way... congrats on 15 days!
Can you make an impenitrable decision once a day - today I will not smoke any, zero, zip, nada no matter what! Then when the bargaining comes up simply disengage. No I have made my decision and there's nothing left to discuss. It takes honor to beat the nobody will know Nico-lie. You honor your decision -yourself and that is more important than the gibberish going in the head. Just let it flow through and out and let it go.....
Welcome to the community!
Sorry to have missed your post until now. Congratulations on what is now (I hope!) 16 days of success! If you have gotten past H#ll AND Heck Weeks that is a BIG deal! I think the reason you might struggle after those first weeks is that the excitement has worn off and you might be getting worn down by the constant battle in your head The idea is to get OUT of your head! Do some reading to understand what is going on, and then make a plan what you can do instead of arguing with yourself about smoking. You have to have a PLAN!
The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This easy and entertaining read provided a world of good information about nicotine addiction, most of which I was not aware. I credit it in large part with my success at quitting. You can search for it online or at your local library.
You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
You didn't mention if you are using a quit aid. I will give you my thoughts on them. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them.. For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum. For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for four reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, 3) it maintains the addiction to nicotine, and 4) they are proving to be unsafe.
It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
Nancy
I'm so sorry that I'm just seeing your post now Mwoodslisw, how are you doing with your precious quit journey? Please let us know and I'm so sorry that your post was missed....
Sorry we're late to the rescue. But at least we're piling on now. (Thank you Kristin for the alert!)
How do you get out of your head? Good question. Maybe it's not so much getting out of your head but re-directing your head. Refocusing takes practice. First off I think you're setting yourself up for failure (in your head), by agreeing with yourself that you relapse every time you get to between week one and two. Because that was true in the past does not make it true in the future. So how do you prevent it happening? You change something. You change your thinking.
For example: "Ok, I know in the past I always get crazy at this point in my quit. Let's examine the why. Does it HAVE to be that way? I guess I think so. If I think so, then how can I change that 'presumption?' What steps can I take to 'not go there.' OK, so what exactly IS the mental craziness I go through, specifically, and why then? Why doesn't it occur during the first week? Is it perhaps because I'm all geared up and gung ho? And I'm focused on WINNING this battle. And then maybe I get tired of the fight? So, if I get tired of the fight, what can I do to continue to boost myself, to stay positive?...."
Do you see the kind of in-depth self-examination this takes? This is a powerful addiction. If it weren't you wouldn't relapse after a week or so. None of us would.
Now I grant you, some people just are not good at asking and answering questions for themselves. And I'd say, if you're not, then just read. Read as much as you can here, there and everywhere. Some of it is bound to rub off. Eventually.
But there are some basic questions: how much do you want to change your thinking? How much are you willing to do to change your thinking? (It takes work!) How much are you willing to give up to change your thinking? Because we can't change our thinking unless we're somewhat willing to give up the way we've always thought about things.
There's nothing wrong with being in your head, if YOU'RE in charge of your head, and not a victim of out-of-control thoughts. We can harness our brains. We can make them work FOR us, instead of against us. I certainly haven't achieved that - yet. But that's part of the fun of being alive. Learning new things. And quitting, getting over an addiction, is all about learning new things. Especially the new things that we don't really like to acknowledge about ourselves.
The great LIE is that we think we NEED to smoke in order to be ourselves. Especially our "calm" selves. We don't know who we are without a cigarette. That thought alone is a good place to start the head journey to freedom.
(Thanks for the head trip. Would not have pondered all this had it not been for your question. That's why sticking around a community like this is always ever so helpful. I've been quit 14 years and I never stop learning.)
Welcome to the Ex. Not sure why we're all so late. That's not normal. How are you doing? We're here for you so just reach out if you need encouragement and want to share your journey.
Barb
I know this will sound silly but it absolutely helped me. Everytime I thought about sneaking a smoke, I closed my eyes and imagined someone offering me a cigarette. I would say to them, No thank you I don't smoke. Then I'd open my eyes do a strut and continue to sing I don't smoke.....I don't smoke. The urge would move on and I'd be fine. Congrats on your quit! Mine wasn't the nicotine that was hard, it was the habit. Still need to strut and sing now and then.
In my opinion, habits do not make us go crazy--dependency does. Nicotine dependency is a complicated thing. And often the answer is to get more support rather than trying to go it alone. Ex is going to be here everyday--covid 19 and beyond. Please stick around and engage with the community which you are now a part of. Read, learn, blog, ask questions, comment as much as you like. One thing is for sure, if you keep telling yourself that you no longer smoke and you don't smoke you will get past those 9-14 days. It's a journey, one day at a time--or so I have come to find that I can't do this any other way but just for today.
Welcome Mwoodslisw! I think your post got lost in the shuffle! Where is everybody?? Let me call in the troops and get you the support you deserve! JACKIE1-25-15 Youngatheart.7.4.12 Marilyn.H.July.14.14. Giulia Jennifer-Quit-05-01-14 Mandolinrain .......