I always do great when I keep coming back here so I made it yesterday. If I wouldn't have come here yelling I probably wouldn't have, but today is another day. Thanks to all of you for your support. FYI, I haven't bought any cigarettes for over 2 years. The other two in the house have always been more than happy to supply cigarettes and have several laying around at any given time. It was my choice to smoke, but it was easier because I didn't have to buy them and didn't have the money to do it. I'm still trying everything I can think of to get the money to start the job. They could've gone with another person by now, but they haven't. They won't wait forever, but I know they want me to work there.
I'm eating my licorice bits when I feel like smoking and I keep coming here. I had six months into my quit and it took one day where I thought I couldn't take the stress anymore and I started smoking 2-4 a day. I keep telling myself that failure is not an option, and I've always been the most determined and motivated person, but it's getting hard. I do rely on God, for sure. My whole life has been surrounded by God. Without my faith I would never have made it through anything. You would think it would be so easy since I haven't been a pack a day smoker for 2 years. The most I've smoked in that time has been 5 or 6 cigarettes a day. Stress has always been my downfall. I don't want to be a smoker and I'm in my second day. I'll keep coming back and please keep the prayers coming. Those things will definitely help me to do it!
