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I need some help please

Question asked by DeniseL920 on Feb 29, 2020
Latest reply on Mar 15, 2020 by elvan

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I just about finished my first week smoke free. The week went pretty smooth considering I’ve been smoking for 32 years. I felt motivated by quitting and was able to deal with the withdrawal symptoms. For some reason, I want to smoke again. I’m thinking a lot about it. Can’t get it off my mind right now. I know I can’t just have one. I’m just feeling confused why this is harder now AFTER the nicotine has left my system. I had an excuse for the uncomfortable feelings when I was withdrawing from the nicotine. What’s my excuse now? How to do fight this urge now? Any advise is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

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zoer Feb 29, 2020 7:10 AM
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Hi DeniseL920. Welcome and congrats on your quit! A week is awesome, you've done a great job. I just hit 30 days today and I don't have all the answers and advice for you, but I wanted to let you know right away that you are not alone in your journey. Everyone on Ex is here for you whenever you need us. I can tell you that it's normal that you're craving them more now. And it WILL get better. You will be getting lots replies on here, including the Elders who will give you more advice/info than I can. In the meantime take it one hour at a time and keep going.
Zoe
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Cousin-Itt Feb 29, 2020 7:14 AM
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Good Morning DeniseL920
Psychological Factors of Addiction After 32 years of smoking, cigarettes became a part of you. I would guess you probably smoked with your coffee, hopping in car, after eating, with a drink or friend, when you were stressed to relax or when relaxed to relax more you probably smoked when you were bored even more or etc... They became like your best friend They were part of you and now your feel like you are losing your best friend a part of you you feel is gone

Psychological Withdraw Symptoms
Anxiety, Restlessness, Depression, Irritability, Headaches, Poor Concentration, Insomnia, and Social isolation.

Give it time it will get easier. Remember you smoked for 32 years
Read and learn as much as you can about nicotine addiction Post and ask questions here. You can do this

Carl 1,301 days smoke free
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sweetplt Feb 29, 2020 7:52 AM
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Hi and Welcome to Ex’s DeniseL920

Congratulations on 1 week of Freedom...super job...Remember you smoked a long time...even though the nicotine is out of your system...you now have to deal with the mental withdrawal, which takes much longer. Also, for 32 years you were feeding so many chemicals in your body, there is no idea how long it takes for them to leave your body...basically your body is healing. This journey is so much more than just quitting smoking ... it is learning to do things in life without the smokes. Actually, we are developing new memories without the smokes and that takes time. You still have much work to do daily...be sure to read at My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX and read many blogs here at Ex’s to help you learn more about this journey. Hang tough and divert your attention to other things when smoking comes into thoughts...You got this, but it takes awhile to feel comfortable in your new skin...Gotcha in my thoughts, Happy Saturday ~ Colleen 453 DOF
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Youngatheart.7.4.12 Feb 29, 2020 9:18 AM
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Welcome to the community!

While it is true the nicotine should be out of your body, there is a lot of adjusting and healing that needs to happen from the physical addiction. That can take up to a month or longer. Understand how your brain sensors are impacted by nicotine to better understand this by doing the reading I will recommend. THEN there is the psychological addiction which I believe is the more difficult of the two from which to break free. Depending on how successful you are at dealing with your associations and triggers built up over the years you smoked, this can take many months. You made it through what we call H#ll Week - good start!!!!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This easy and entertaining read provided a world of good information about nicotine addiction, most of which I was not aware. I credit it in large part with my success at quitting. You can search for it online or at your local library.

You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy
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ExClipper Feb 29, 2020 9:19 AM
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Hi
I smoked for 45 years, in June it will be 5 years. I can say two things with conviction: I can empathize with what you are going through and you will absolutely positively feel better if you just don’t smoke.

The MayoClinc has a great page that explains in detail how tobacco addiction works, what’s going in body. Nicotine attaches to receptors in your brain causing it to release dopamine, which makes you feel good and that is the addiction. Smokers are addicted to high levels of dopamine, and need that just normal. It’s the lack of nicotine that makes you feel bad. But it gets better, over time those receptors in your brain will quiet down as you adjust to normal levels of dopamine. It helped me to understand how things worked. You might want to take a few minutes to check out this link. You will be on, it gets better.

Nicotine dependence - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic
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DavesTime Feb 29, 2020 9:59 AM
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You've gotten some wise counsel above. I smoked for over 45 years and I found the psychological "cravings" to be at least as much of a challenge as the nicotine withdrawal. We have done this for a long time; it became ingrained in so many areas of our life and activity, we connected it with celebrations and relaxing, it was there for us as we stressed out and grieved--it was THERE for us (even as it was slowly killing us). In short, there seems to be a big hole in our life once we quit. Filling that hole with positive, life-affirming things is a key. I focused on exercising, working off my frustrations and losing weight in the process.

You are still young in your quit. Give it time and let it grow. You are doing great. Congratulations on completing your first week of freedom!

Dave
535 DOF
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Troutnut1 Feb 29, 2020 9:53 AM
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The History Of The Cyber Trout (A True Troutnut1 Tale).... From troutnut1 on 10/17/2005 6:59:19 PM I’d always cheated on previous quits. Like a guilty little child I’d sneak out behind the woodshed where Mrs. Troutnut wouldn’t see me to have “just one”. Or figure I could grab a quick “just one” while I was at the river fishing. Or I’d find something to do out in the garage while I snuck another “just one”. Often I’d hide the half smoked “just one” in a secret place, so I could have the “just one” again later too, and still maintain the count of “one”. I’m still finding those half smoked butts almost 5 years later. And of course, the outcome of my quit was always the same. A boat load of aggravation and frustration, followed of course by the guilt, shame, and remorse of a failed quit. When I finally figured it out (that quitting involves NOT smoking!) I wanted to find a way to share that newfound knowledge with our precious newbies. It seems like it should have been obvious. But it wasn’t. At least for me. And maybe it wouldn’t be obvious for someone else either. I could tell by watching the good Quitsters at the Q that our precious newbies would quickly divide into two distinct groups. Those that took that FIRST puff. And those that didn’t take that FIRST puff. With radically different success rates. And unfortunately, I found the “meter” or the “gadget” to be of little help in creating the incentive to stay away from that FIRST puff, at least for large numbers of our newbies. People cheated. They didn’t reset. They called them “slips”. They reasoned that if they didn’t like the taste, or if the cause was sufficiently good (or bad), or that they were drunk, that it shouldn’t count. And with my historical record, I was certainly in no position to argue with them. But still…my experience screamed that this approach and attitude was doomed to failure. I had tried it myself so very many times. Had there been a loophole in the law of addiction, I would certainly have found it in my 35 years of experimentation. So I wanted a better way. My experience told me that if one could just avoid that FIRST puff for a full 7 days that the odds would dramatically alter in their favor. But the only thing I had to offer them was fresh Montana trout. And shipping the real thing presented two problems. One was the obvious problem. Yuck! And two was that I always release Montana trout keeping only a photo. So I started taking my digital camera with me on my daily fishing trips and snapping photos of my catch. These I offered to those good Quitsters who managed to make FULL 7 days WITHOUT TAKING THAT FIRST PUFF of nicotine. One could (and still can I guess) do whatever they wanted with the meter. But the trout had (and has) a zero tolerance policy. That was it’s sole purpose in life. ZERO puffs, over a 7 full days, to earn one. A true miracle for any addict of the drug nicotine. And accepting the trout is your certification, on the honor system, that you have in fact completed 7 full, consecutive days, without taking a single puff of nicotine. In the earlier days of Quitnet I used to send unique, individual trout photos taken specifically for the individuals earning them. Rainbows, Browns, Cutthroat, and Bull trout of all different sizes. For a time we could even include full color photos of these fish right into Qmails and lots of these were done. Other times it was done with links. And I generally made up poems to go with the trout. I’m certain there are still some out there that were printed up or kept somehow. I’d love to see one if you still have it. But as the community here grew, individual custom cyber trout became too labor intensive. So I turned over the distribution of the trout to the community here. My job now is just to keep catching them…and of course, to not take that FIRST puff, one day at a time. Sometimes the trout is awarded in its symbol form (><(((((((o>) with many variations. And this form is very special too. It was first given to me by a Montana Quitster friend who has since passed away from lung cancer. She’s helping now to catch enough trout to fill the demand here. Is it silly for us to go that extra mile, sometimes hell itself, just to complete the 7 days and get our hands on a fresh Montana cyber trout? Maybe. But not near as silly as me thinking for 35 years that happiness was death, and poison, in a white paper tube.

Hell week isn’t the kind of thing you’ll want to experience over and over again. So hopefully this will be your one and only fresh Montana cyber trout! Congratulations!

Your friend in Montana

Troutnut1-dennis
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- Gai.C @ Troutnut1 on Mar 1, 2020 7:18 AM
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  Thank you Troutnut1 U are the best. ALWAYS know how to Help.
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Marilyn.H.July.14.14. Feb 29, 2020 9:56 AM
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How are you doing this morning DeniseL920? You've got great advice above me please read everything you can because there's a wealth of information right here on this site to strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb permanently it's not easy by any stretch of the imagination BUT boy oh boy it's so worth it to be Free and we're all here to help you in any way we can .....
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indingrl.01.06.2011 Feb 29, 2020 9:59 AM
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Battle field of YOUR mind taken day by day breaking yiur day into breathing OR 1 minute or 5 minutes - filling YOUR NEW mindset with education of YOURSELF - your habits and patterns to be taken one at a time just fir TODAY not one puff ever - blog BEFORE YOU take that first puff over YOU - SUGGESTIONS made to ME when I FIRST started getting to know ME - please be kind loving and gentle with YOU - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank youCONGRATS ON NICOTINE FREEDOM- WAY TO GO
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elvan Feb 29, 2020 10:10 AM
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The psychological addiction was for me, & many others, the hardest part of the journey. You have gotten great advice, please take it. You came here instead of smoking & that’s a great step. I kept repeating NOPE, Not One Puff Ever over & over again. Read, stay close, keep busy. It WILL get easier.
Welcome to EX,
Ellen
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Barbscloud Feb 29, 2020 10:30 AM
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What you're feeling is normal. I think we expect to feel great right away, but we've smoked a long time so we need to be patient with ourselves. Not only have you eliminated nicotine from our bodies, but numerous chemicals. Our bodies are going react--we need time to heal. The psychological part was much harder for me also. I had very little physical withdrawal symptoms.

Big congrats on finishing hell week successfully. You're well on your way to a new way of life. Stay close right now!

Nicotine is out of your body 72 hours after you quit smoking. Nicotine withdrawal symptoms usually reach their peak 2 to 3 days after you quit, and are gone within 1 to 3 months. (1) It takes at least 3 months for your brain chemistry to return to normal after you quit smoking.
Barb
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maryfreecig Feb 29, 2020 4:28 PM
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It's the absence of nicotine that causes cravings early on. Why would the brain forget that it wants nicotine? Upon inhaling, it takes only 7-9 seconds for the drug to take effect--hence the reason you smoked day in and day out--by smoking you were keeping your nicotine replenished and your brain satisfied.

Quitting one day at a time includes retraining the brain to stop asking. You do this by carrying on with your life and no smoking no matter what. Eventually the brain gets used to not having nicotine. But you have to walk the walk--there is no other way. You are not crazy for having a desire to smoke, just keep moving forward, work your smobriety (which is what you did by coming here and blogging--high five on that).

One day at a time, yes you can.
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Ashley1985 Mar 5, 2020 10:42 AM
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I know just how you feel. Sometimes watching movies where there is smoking it bothers me. I know I don't want to start over. I can smell now when someone is smoking or if I see someone smoking outside of a store a small voice inside says it would be good to have a cigarette. I know if I just have a puff I wouldn't be able to contain myself. I don't want to go back to smoking. I don't want to start over. Those moments pass and you stay smoke free.
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- Youngatheart.7.4.12 @ Ashley1985 on Mar 5, 2020 10:55 AM
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  Ashley1985 There is no "containing yourself" if you smoke even one cigarette. You are addicted to nicotine, and even one will start you down the road to being a full time smoker. It might not be right away, but 100% of the time, it will send you right back to where you started - a smoker wanting to quit. Truth!
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Maki Mar 5, 2020 11:56 AM
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Not much else to say . Good stuff up there .
I will say no matter what the day brings you , you are healing if you are not smoking .
Be patient , stay the course .
Congratulations on every day quit .
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green1611 Mar 9, 2020 5:39 AM
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Congratulations on your quit.
Cravings are challenging. You want to smoke cigarette now... yes, this feeling is not unusual. Try and get into other activity you love to do (other than smoking). Keep busy schedule, and avoid too much thinking in quit.

Nice list above on how to avoid cravings.

Keep positive mind, and say no to cigarette.

All the best !
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elvan Mar 9, 2020 9:26 PM
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How are you doing? Second week soon? I hope you found some suggestions that worked.
Ellen
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- DeniseL920 @ elvan on Mar 14, 2020 3:26 AM
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  How am I doing? Well, I didn’t make it. But on a positive note, I am on day 4 of my “new” Quit. I need to update the date somewhere. I will keep trying til I get this right. Thank you to you and everyone else here.
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  - Youngatheart.7.4.12 @ DeniseL920 on Mar 14, 2020 8:56 AM
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    Here is how to reset your quit date: HOW DO I CHANGE MY QUIT DATE?
    NOW - figure out your thought pattern when you failed. As goes your mind, so is the decision made to give up and give in. Make a plan now before you start in again what you can do differently when those thoughts start to get the best of you this time. Might you blog "Help" here and wait for us to talk you off the ledge? Sometimes just writing it out does the trick. Can you call a friend, or march in place or play a computer game? Tell yourself, "I'm not going to smoke now - but maybe next week?" Then say it AGAIN next week!!
    Let us know how we can help - we want this freedom from addiction for YOU!
    Nancy
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  - Barbscloud @ DeniseL920 on Mar 14, 2020 9:49 AM
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    Sorry to hear that. One tool you can use is to come to the Ex before you smoke. Give these folks a chance to talk through a rough period. I know it worked for me. Glad you're back track. Stay close this time!
    Barb
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Ashley1985 Mar 14, 2020 10:58 AM
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This is the extreme part of quitting. I smoked well over 35yrs. I have stopped several times but this time I'm determined not to smoke. I haven't had a cigarette since October 3, 2019. I figured out my triggers and thought I was good. I had so many stressful situations that were out of my control. To me it's a miracle I made it through. I did use nicotine gum. I thought it would taste terrible but it wasn't and it really helped a lot. We are all different and every quit is different. All I can truly say is don't give up! If you slip don't beat yourself up start again. This program really helped and inspired me. You will make it!!
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Mandolinrain Mar 14, 2020 12:03 PM
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Thinking of you and sending positive vibes and prayers for you to stay smoke free. Congrats on 4 days
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elvan Mar 15, 2020 4:06 PM
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You will get there, I had to try many times. Once I found EX and made my commitment, it really DID get easier. You can do this.
Ellen
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I need some help please

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