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Give and get support around quitting

zoer
Member

advice for crying please | 1

I'm 24 days smoke free after 45 years. I'm using the patch. I find myself crying a lot lately, more now than in the beginning. I feel if I just go ahead and smoke it will stop, but I medically have to stay a non smoker this time. Does anyone have any advice for me? 

sorry if this is repeating from the community page, i'm new and put it over there before finding the conversations page

13 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

As long as you need help, put it anywhere you like!

Lots of folks here have reported crying jags - it's a normal part of withdrawal symptoms.  Just as no two people are alike, so too are no quits the same.  I did not experience this: I hope others who did will respond.

I DO know that smoking is NOT the answer!  NOPE!  NOT!!

This will pass and when it does, you will be so happy you didn't smoke.

Just hang in there until it does!

Nancy

elvan
Member

I DID experience crying jags that l found really disturbing, l cried over everything. It happened more for me around 60 days but we are all different. I smoked for 47 years & after quitting, l was experiencing my emotions without stuffing them down with nicotine. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to feel sad or lonely, it’s okay to feel anger. When we started smoking, we did not really allow ourselves to feel things & we did not learn gradually how to handle our emotions. When we stop smoking, those emotions seem much more intense because our learning is happening with no real preparation. Crying is good because it lets off some steam, like a pressure cooker. JonesCarpeDiem‌ told me not to worry about it, that l was “watering my cheeks”, it still makes me laugh to think of that. I, too, HAD to quit & l have major damage because it took me so long. It’s been over six years now & l have learned what l should have known all along. Feeling is normal, smoking is NOT.

Ellen

indingrl
Member

Thank you for sharing  - CONGRATS 24 DAYS OF FREEDOM - yahooooooo - WAY TO GO

MarilynH
Member

I also went through crying jags zoer it's part of the quitting process for many of us congratulations on your 24 stupendous Smokefree days and counting WTG, deep breaths and know that we're all here to help you in any way we can you can and are doing this quit and you're doing it one precious Smokefree Day at a time or hour minute or even a second at a time keep moving forward stacking up those precious Days Of Freedom so each evening you can say YAY for another Day WON.....

Sootie
Member

All sorts of emotions will hit you during withdrawal. Crying is a great release for emotional waves......so as long as you are not driving a car or attending a board meeting......indulge in a little crying! It won't hurt you whereas smoking will.

CONGRATULATIONS on 24 days! It's great. But give yourself some time. After 45 years of smoking, our bodies have to adjust to a new life.

Mandolinrain
Member

Tears are okay

Blog Post created by Mandolinrain on Jan 22, 2018

Quitting is an emotional thing. Many if us found our way through our quits early on by having the experience of so many emotions we didn't know if we were coming or going.

 

For me....tears were a large part of that. Mixed emotions stored my thoughts. Deep inside I WANTED DESPERATELY to be a non smoker, but I was afraid. Afraid of failure, afraid of fear...is there such a thing? Being afraid of fear itself?

 

Tears came unannounced over I would say the first 3 months of my quit. Just look at me wrong and I would cry. I was fragile. I was learning how to cope with life without running to smoke first. This was a key turning point for me once I understood what was happening.

 

Frustration during my early months was induced by anyone who criticized me, looked at me wrong...again...how do you look at someone wrong?... My perception of everything was knocked out of whack.

 

I learned here on this site, that I would go through many stages as I began my quit journey. Some would bring intense anger, fear, hurt, pain, tears...oh yes plenty of tears, and feelings that I would lose this battle.

 

ALL which I was told by the wonderful Elders of mine, were 100%normal.

 

While we all may focused on the same goal...'to become a non smoker and or to remain one'...all of us that began this journey before you understand...

Tears are often a part of it. They're cleansing and remind us of the direction we are in or want to be in. So accept. 

 

Accept that today your working through another day quit. Something may happen to bring on the tears today and if it does, remember this......

 

images-24.jpeg AND

images-25.jpegThis last quote is what I did. I wrote.

 

God Bless you all and I hope this helps at least one person. If it does, it was worth blogging ~Missy

Visibility: Mandolinrain Blog1507 Views
Last modified on Jan 22, 2018 11:32 AM
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Giulia
Member

Advice about crying... I don't know.  When my mother died I cried until there was nothing left to ooze out of my eyes.  I cried until I simply couldn't cry any more because I couldn't breathe for the gasping of breath.  Not due to smoking, due to the loss of the person I loved most in the world.  I didn't cry that much when I quit.  I've cried throughout my life, so crying wasn't something that happened more often or because I had quit.  It was and is just something I do on a regular basis, I guess.  Every now and then I just need to cry.  For whatever sadness I feel.  And that's okay with me.  I cry, I get over myself and continue on and then may hit an emotional time when I can't deal with stuff and I cry again.  And that's okay.  To me it's a natural and needed venting of those bottled up emotions.  So my experience is - it's okay to cry.  Cry as much as you need to.  Eventually you'll probably get tired of crying and move on to whatever the next stage of your journey is. Obviously if you're dealing with psychiatric problems when you simply can't get out of the crying mode - that's different.  But crying - it's okay.  Quitting is hard.  We feel like we've lost a friend.  We actually feel something more potent than that - we feel like we've lost our 'selves'.  And it's ok to cry over that.  Truth is in one way we never WILL be the same 'self' that we've known.  And it's okay to grieve that loss.  What we don't know, however, is the magnificence of the new 'self' that's about to be.  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/positive-affirmations-and-support/blog/2017/10/24/its-gonn... 

sweetplt
Member

Hi and Welcome to Ex’s zoer ...Crying is part of the withdrawal...it’s ok...unless it becomes too much and inhibits life activities....at times when we quit crying can feel healing...but if it continues for too long, we need to seek advice from the Doctor...we may be experiencing some depression...Don’t feel you need to solve everything...know that your body is healing from 45 years of smoking and it is emotional...but taking a step at a time...and making YOU and YOUR quit number one are most important....Come here for any and all support and to help others...it does get better, but takes much time...~ Colleen 447 DOF 

Barbscloud
Member

The consensus is, crying is normal.  I know I cried for no reason at times.  It's OK to cry and it will pass.  Big congrats on 24 days and stay close.

Barb