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Give and get support around quitting

Want to quit!!!!!!!!!

I want to quit so bad... I had every excuse in the book not to but every reason I need to.. I only have one fully functioning lung. I am pregnant for the third time. Each time I quit towards the end.. this time I'm nearing the end and I dont see a quit in sight... my addict brain tells me how are you going to stop doing something you've done for 15+ years? Even when I have trouble breathing I still dont see it as a problem... I know it's a problem and most of the time I hate the way it smells, tastes, it gives me headaches or nausea even outside of pregnancy.. but I am still smoking... I want to quit so bad and never pick back up again.. I picture myself using the time I used to smoke taking care of myself or coloring with my kids... I picture not being sick as much and smelling better. Not having to stop at every rest stop on trips. My kids having more quality time to spend without me craving a cigarette. So you see I have s Harrison mang reasons to quit so why can't i just do it?

14 Replies
Barbscloud
Member

You can do it, but it does take some work on your part.  I've had many failed attempts because I didn't understand the process.  I picked a date and bought an aid and said I was quitting without knowing what I needed to do and how to do it.  I'm almost at two years smoke free for the first time in 50 years.  I used aids again this time, but what really made the difference is that I found the Ex the week before I planned on quitting.  Educating yourself about nicotine and creating a quit plan can make it possible for you too.  It's a journey that we travel one day at time.  It's not easy and there are ups and down, but knowing what to expect, preparation and support can make it all possible for you too.  Reaching out and sharing with other's that have gone before you and with new quitters experiencing the same physical and emotional struggles is powerful.   Create a plan, read everything you can on this site, pick a date and begin your journey to becoming and ex-smoker.  We're here for you.  You just need to reach out.

Barb

My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX 

abbynormal42
Member

You CAN do it. That's the first thing you have to accept in your mind. You are listening to the inner addict that tells you you can't, and so you believe you can't. Start listening to the part of yourself that believes that you CAN. Or if you don't yet believe it, keep repeating it to yourself until you do: I can quit. I can quit. I will quit. I will quit. I will quit and stay quit! 

Our thoughts have power. It sounds to me like you already know all of the reasons why you need to quit. You just need to believe that it is possible. Yes, it will take work. Yes, there will be discomfort in the beginning. But that discomfort won't even compare to the discomfort you would feel if you wound up terminal in the hospital leaving your small children behind. THAT would be the ultimate in pain. Any discomfort you may feel at the beginning of your quit is nothing compared to that.

We are all here to support you. Read up on nicotine addiction. Prepare yourself. And BELIEVE that you CAN do this!

BobKatt22
Member

Hi Abby!!! Good to see you again!!

0 Kudos
Mandolinrain
Member

First off calm down....we got cha now....and we will be here throughout as you go through this and you have many good reasons you listed, all admirable all worth it. YOU alone are worth the quit. 

So lets start with a better plan this time.  A book which was so much help for me, a smoker of over 30 years who also thought she could never do it...was written by Alan Carr. "The Easyway to stop smoking'....and it really helped me see why I kept failing over and over again. It is a short/fast read. I highly recommend you read it.

Stay near to us. Blog to us in your best and worst moments. Read our blogs too.

Theres many opinions on what works here to quit. You will eventually find a journey that becomes your own...we each can offer you suggestions advice and support but the only journey we can share is our own. What worked for one may not work for another,

That said you may find bits and pieces of several other quitters and develop your own quit. THAT is why I want to read many blogs here so you can get some ideas and try some new territory out.

Yes it is hard, no matter what why you go with this but the one thing you have in your corner that you did not before was us. We have ALL felt the same as you. We have some ideas and suggestion to help smooth the path but ultimately you have to do the groundwork for you. Learning all you can about the addiction is priority. The more you understand that every single time you take a drag your brain has already began to set you up for the next smoke....the better off you will be at resisting it.

Glad you found us, welcome to a very loving community

johnnyRingo5
Member

You definitely can quit and it is great that you want to do it.  Believe that you can quit and work to change your view of smoking.

Smoking causes a lot of the problems you are going through.  Understand that your life will be a lot better without cigarettes.

Educate yourself about nicotine addiction.  This is key.  Understanding the addiction will help you fight it.  There are a lot of great resources on this site to help you with this.

As Mandolinrain just stated, Allen Carr's "The Easyway to Quit Smoking" is a great resource.  I highly recommend buying that book.  It helped me to see that there was nothing positive to be gained from smoking.  Everything with smoking is negative and your life is so much better off without it.

And also, continue to reach out here whenever you are struggling.  Quitting is definitely doable and doing so will make your life so much better.

WhispersQSMB
Member

Image result for believe you can and you're halfway there

"My kids having more quality time to spend without me craving a cigarette"

You're kids are reason enough, not just quality time. You want to be around for them as long as you can

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to the community!

I thought I was going to be the last smoker left standing!  Don't despair!  If you pay attention and follow the steps I will suggest, you CAN quit.  Do the work, get ready - and then DO it!  I have now been quit 7+ years; it wasn't easy, but it WAS doable!

 

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This easy and entertaining read provided a world of good information about nicotine addiction, most of which I was not aware.  I credit it in large part with my success at quitting.   You can search for it online or at your local library.


 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

 

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for four reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion,  3) it maintains the addiction to nicotine, and 4) they are proving to be unsafe.

 

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...


The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.


Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

maryfreecig
Member

For the same reason I couldn't just do it. Why the vast majority of smokers can't just do it. It's an addiction/dependency. 

To quit, means that you will take on a full time job. But it's a one day at a time job. 

A lot of smokers want quitting to feel really good. For the mind to change instantly. Quitting isn't like that. Some people feel good about quitting sooner than others, but most have to consciously work to ignore the addiction while getting through the first few weeks. Then, a lot of recovery is about relearning life without smoking.

I didn't know how to do anything without smoking by the time I quit in 2013. I was lost. But I'd made a quit plan (age 54--decades and decades of smoking) using various sources on the internet. I'd decided to quit, the plan was my checks and balances. I'd get feeling cruddy and I'd think about my list of things to do other than smoke--I'd pick something and do it.

It was a process. Everyone goes through it--the business of breaking an addiction. Ex is here to help. Read, learn, blog, comment--work on your plan. It's about what you can do, not what you cannot do. Right now, maybe you can't find a wonderous desire to quit, but you can learn about the addiction, and go through the process of making a quit plan.

/blogs/oldbones-larry/2019/07/01/the-smithy by Larry This blog is about No Man's Land of quitting but I think it applies to the very moment we say I will do this no matter what.

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/newbie-quitters/blog/2019/01/27/one-of-the-greatest-tools-... by Jackie

Dopamine - the Double Edged Blade by Thomas

What is the Single Best Thing You Can Do to Quit Smoking? - YouTube 

Quitting Cigarettes Journal  my story, a google blog started in 2014

Give quitting all your thought then get to work. Yes you can.

Pops
Member

It's about what you can do, not what you cannot do.

Awesome sentence....so on point...EX should somehow adopt that as an everyday, in your face mantra....so big and bold, that it cannot be overlooked...

Pops