Quitting as a couple

[catsalvano]

So my husband is quitting with me - which is great! But he really seems to be struggling. I tried to get him to join the group but he’s not up for it. He is super cranky - which i understand. It’s day 6 - for me and him. His coping mechanism basically is to go to bed around 7 at night - which i am all for since i just wanted to sleep through it. Is there anything i should be doing to be more helpful to him? Or just let him find his own way?

[Barbscloud]

Did he create a quit plan?  Have any tools to use?  Being cranky is normal at this stage.  It's a good time to replace some dopamine.  Go for walk!  Sleeping is also a good tool for many and getting rest also increases dopamine.

Barb

[AnnetteMM]

It's hard as a wife, but you have to let him work his own quit the way he needs to. You offered him the tools you have, that's all you can do. You'll be helpful just by working your own quit successfully.

And Congratulations on your first  week WON!!!!

[catsalvano]

Hahahaha- love the post - sooo true 

[AnnetteMM]

Bless Erma Bombeck, amirite?

[SuzyQ411]

Just loved Erma AnnetteMM‌~ Miss her~

[YoungAtHeart]

Ask him if there is anything you can do to help.  Try to accommodate whatever he needs - and he should do the same for you.

Perhaps you can start the conversation by thinking about what you might do with the money you are saving?  Maybe a romantic weekend getaway  - or a candlelight dinner out, or a date night of whatever you feel like doing......after you both are over the Early Grumpys!

Hang in there - it WILL get easier - and better!  Congrats on making it through H#ll Week with your marriage intact!

[marciem]

Hey there, catsalvano..   think it is great that you are jumping in together, and can clearly identify with each others efforts and trials and difficulties and be supportive!!

That said... please make sure the lines are clear, between YOUR quit and HIS quit.  They are not interdependent, nor one and the same.  If something happens and he relapses, that does not give you the go-ahead to smoke also, just because he flopped or so that you can quit together again.  And same vice versa, of course.  You are not joined at the hip, quitting-wise, and both of you need to be selfish at times to protect your own quits.

Best to you BOTH!

[sweetplt]

Each quit is so individual in many ways...however, you could suggest taking a walk, or some sort of exercise together, maybe a jigsaw puzzle you both can work on, etc., but I wouldn’t push it, if he says no...~ Colleen 439 DOF 

[elvan]

I really feel for you, PLEASE remember that his quit is HIS and your quit is YOURS.  If he needs to sleep through it for now, that's his choice although exercise and distraction are much healthier.  Having a plan, a support group, understanding that this is a very powerful addiction really helps.  I lost many quits in the past, this one was different because of EX and my own commitment not to smoke, no matter what.  I won't tell you that it was easy but I will tell you that it gets EASIER.

Congratulations on your quit.

Ellen