alissastump

Happy Friday

Discussion created by alissastump on Feb 14, 2020
Latest reply on Feb 16, 2020 by alissastump

Today is day #7 for me.  I feel like I have been on the wildest roller coaster of my life.

 

My first 2-3 days (to my complete surprise) weren't bad at all.  I had that "something is missing feeling" mixed in with a few mild cravings. Really-  they were only mild.  But if that's all it was, then by golly this quitting stuff is easy!   (Hmmpffff-  yeah right)

 

Then day 4-6 hit.  It was HARD.  I was mad and crying,  sad and miserable.  I felt like death would be better than what I was feeling.  But I trudged on nonetheless cause I have made a promise to my kids and to myself.  I kept thinking all day yesterday that "tomorrow is Friday."  If I could just drag myself through the day,  I would be in the clear to go home, disappear into my bed alone and sleep away all those horrible feelings and depression.  Maybe even the kids would forget that I exist for a few hours so that I can actually disappear and sleep!

 

I was starting to really start looking down and was wondering what I got myself into.  Perhaps a bit of self doubt here and there.

 

And then something magical happened.....I woke up this morning.  I wiped the sleep from my eyes and took my shower.  When I stepped out of the shower, it hit me.  I'm OK!  It's really not that bad.  Yeah,  I had a few rough days-  but I did it!

I think I was forgetting to tell myself that bad days will happen,  but they will also pass.  And even though I have struggled,  I made it.  I don't need to disappear and hide.  I'm ready to embrace this day head on with all it has to offer, without a cigarette in my hand.

 

One whole week under my belt and lifetime of freedom to go!

Thanks for letting me vent and I hope everyone of you have a fabulous Friday/Valentine's Day!

Outcomes