Today is day #7 for me. I feel like I have been on the wildest roller coaster of my life.
My first 2-3 days (to my complete surprise) weren't bad at all. I had that "something is missing feeling" mixed in with a few mild cravings. Really- they were only mild. But if that's all it was, then by golly this quitting stuff is easy! (Hmmpffff- yeah right)
Then day 4-6 hit. It was HARD. I was mad and crying, sad and miserable. I felt like death would be better than what I was feeling. But I trudged on nonetheless cause I have made a promise to my kids and to myself. I kept thinking all day yesterday that "tomorrow is Friday." If I could just drag myself through the day, I would be in the clear to go home, disappear into my bed alone and sleep away all those horrible feelings and depression. Maybe even the kids would forget that I exist for a few hours so that I can actually disappear and sleep!
I was starting to really start looking down and was wondering what I got myself into. Perhaps a bit of self doubt here and there.
And then something magical happened.....I woke up this morning. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and took my shower. When I stepped out of the shower, it hit me. I'm OK! It's really not that bad. Yeah, I had a few rough days- but I did it!
I think I was forgetting to tell myself that bad days will happen, but they will also pass. And even though I have struggled, I made it. I don't need to disappear and hide. I'm ready to embrace this day head on with all it has to offer, without a cigarette in my hand.
One whole week under my belt and lifetime of freedom to go!
Thanks for letting me vent and I hope everyone of you have a fabulous Friday/Valentine's Day!