Thank you so much for your support. I messed up my quit time also... I actually had six months instead of five. I'm ready to start to get back to this now. For those of you who have been with me from the beginning, you know that I love you and I am so grateful that you've been here. It couldn't have happened without you and all the love and support that I've gotten from you guys. For that one person who told me to grow up because I said my mom bought the pack of cigarettes.... well, first... I was born 30. My childhood wasn't playful and carefree. I've had to be a responsible adult for as long as I can remember. Coming from a family of alcoholics and drug addicts, as well as an abusive father, I never had that luxury. Millions of others had it exactly the same so I'm not special. I did, however, have beautiful grandparents who took me and raised me with all the love that I could ask for. My only wish is that I could've had more years with them. I became their caregivers and watched them both slowly slip away. Pap died of cancer and Gram from Alzheimer's disease, but I would take care of them all over again because they were my true Mom and Dad. They gave me the values that make me the good person that I am. I'm open-minded, respectful of others, I believe that all people should be treated equally and with the same respect, and my faith in God has gotten me through things that most can't imagine. I'm a fighter and a survivor and I was the first one in my family to graduate from high school and I'm the only one that pursued a college education and did it. I haven't always had the best health and I've battled a digestive disease for 2 and a half years that was horrendous for most of that time and through that I lost everything. I had to move into my parent's house with them. My health is finally better and I am trying my best to get a job. I need to get another car and move back into my own place. Those things will happen because I won't ever give up, but both parents are smokers and I never gave me much support in quitting. None of this is an excuse for me to smoke. I screwed up and I have to fix it. I am finding out, from the time I smoked the first cigarette, that all the reasons I wanted to quit before are still there, but even more so now. They smell horrible, they don't even taste good, they're disgusting and I'll be glad when they're out of my life forever. They actually suck..... and yet we are here fighting to quit. I can't stand anything having control over me so I will fight hard to get rid of them for good! For a year before I quit on August 12th, I smoked between 3-5 cigarettes a day and then before my quit date I got down to one a day. When I got the pack it was like I went right back to 2018. I've been smoking about 2-4 cigarettes a day and I absolutely want to quit! I'm so disappointed in what I did, but I know that I can do it because all of you are here. The licorice works great for me. It did before. Those twizzler licorice bits work amazingly well. That's the plan. Those of you who have been writing messages of support, thank you so much, especially all of you who have been with me for the past six months and more. I love you and you're always in my thoughts and prayers. Martha, yes I pray. I'm a pastor and therapist and I probably talk to God more than anyone else. I had an interview on Tuesday and it went better than I ever could have asked. I'm waiting to hear, but I have a feeling.... please send me good vibes and if you pray, please pray for me. Thank you all more than I can say.
(That's what most of my friends call me, but Terrie is fine, too)
Rev or Terrie