Cyndie01

The voice within

Discussion created by Cyndie01 on Feb 1, 2020
Latest reply on Feb 2, 2020 by Barbscloud

I’m gonna make this as short as I can. I want to quit for obvious reasons. I’m a 48 yr old female w 1 grown son & husband. The smell is probably the second reason next to health reasons. I shame myself for every single cigarette I have. If you do the math, that is a lot of negative talking down to oneself. I have 2 personalities in my brain. The strong one who is over smoking, and the addict who allows it. The strong one can say “I’m so done with these things that I can go cold turkey and laugh in the face of cravings while the addict is reaching for a lighter and saying “this is gonna taste delicious, ignore the strong one, and hurry while she’s not looking”. I have gotten to a point that I have given up hope that I will ever quit....or even slow down.

 

i quit once before for 9 days. 9 days, that’s it.  I was in such a good place in my head like “this monster will no longer control me”. I know I got over confident and stopped using the patch too soon and that’s what ended it. I haven’t been able to even start to quit though. I believe being stranded on a deserted island would be the only way I’m gonna start. But I also think it would only make me a strong swimmer cuz my determination to get a cigarette when I’m out of them makes me go to great lengths. If I could use that energy to quit life would be great. Anyone ever find a starting point after they lost hope in their own abilities?

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