5Jacks

Existential Meltdown

Discussion created by 5Jacks on Jan 27, 2020
Latest reply on Jan 30, 2020 by 5Jacks

After 7 full days of wearing a 21 mg patch, having one or two lozenges, and feeling pretty confident about this whole quit, I thought I'd try a no-patch weekend. Weekends are good because I can do whatever I want and there are all kinds of distractions.

 

Saturday went okay. Walked around the track at the rec center for 20 minutes for the first time in six months. Had one lozenge.

 

Sunday was a disaster. For no apparent reason, I felt the tears welling up in my eyes around noon and the next thing I knew, I was curled up in bed, sobbing like I haven't done in years, questioning my resolve to go on...my ability to "adult"...my reason for being on earth.

 

Woke up today much earlier than usual since I was all slept out, and then the battle began. My internal idiot wanted me to make a run to the convenience store. NOPE!

 

One lozenge and one patch later, I am coping much better. Not smoking is the easy part. Being nicotine-free is not so easy - at least not just yet.

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