Community
I made it until 6 pm. My husband is driving me crazy tip toeing around and hovering trying not to set me off and I blew up inside. It came on so fast and I was in an emotional fury.....ready to just let loose on someone.....but instead i got in the car and bought a pack and sat and smoked a cigarette holding back the tears and hating myself. That's all i can say right now. Heading out to a 12 Step program right now.
Deep breaths and prepare to start a fresh quit and turn your DAY ONE into DAY WON with many more to come, you can do this believe it and know that we're all here to help you in any way we can.....
No worries and thank YOU so much for sharing YOUR courage and self honesty - I used again too and just took the SUGGESTIONS - be gentle and kind to YOUR self - welcome back - congrats on day ONE 
Hate the addiction, not yourself. Next time maybe Replay the Relapse before you go to the store? Keep working it.
lynnjoss Honestly, don’t hate or beat yourself up...it won’t help you...please it’s ok...come here and work on it and get back in the quit...no matter how many times...eventually one of these quits will stick like glue...like you...we do...~ Colleen 397 DOF
Education is the key to a successful quit. It takes a lot of hard work and commitment to quit. It just does not happen. You have to be willing to be able to go through whatever and not smoke. Anger is a trigger. Now that you have quit you are on the path of learning new coping skills. It is not easy. It takes time and learning from mistakes NOPE It is time to let smoking go and learn to grow into the wonderful person that you can be without a stinking cigarette. It is a great place to get to one day at a time. Have a plan for what to do differently when you have the urge to smoke.
101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke Start over with a commitment that NOPE no matter what
Here are a few blogs to help you along the way. Letter to loved one when you are quitting
So thanks so much for all the replies and encouragement. What should I do? I didn't really set a quit date and prepare. Maybe I should start taking my Zyban and set another date? Actually put a patch on too instead of just gum? I've also been stressing about having to start Jury Duty monday, and being self employed I don't know how I will work too and keep my income coming in.......I'm really stressed out this week. Any suggestions? thanks again!
So preparing means also to include strategies for the things that are likely to bother you (like hubby tip toeing). Stratgizing means making a list mental or written that details exactly what you will do (like hubby is tip toeing, I'll go on Ex and blog for example).
Don't quit without some plan. It does not have to be elaborate--just as sincere as you can be about what you really will do to stay smober. And of course smobriety is a journey and it's taken only one day at a time. Not one week at a time, one month, one year--narrow it down to just for today.
Ex is here for you 365.
Keep reading, learning.Blog when you feel like it.
It sucks to break down. You are brave to post it here. That shows you are committed to quitting. And your quit is not over.
This is an opportunity to plan for the next time you are in this mental place.
You keep quitting til you're quit.
Planning is better than crying.
And quitting is better than smoking.
You can do this.
PT
What helped me...was doing the work...I read at My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX , here you will set a plan date in about 2 weeks. It will have you understand some of the quitting early on and the triggers...also, come here and read the blogs to become more knowledgable in quitting...then think of things you will do in place of smoking. Here is a list to get you started 100 Things to do instead of smoking!
The night before the quit get rid of all smoking paraphernalia and have in place your items you have decided to help in your quit. Keep close to the support site for help. Remember one important thing...everything in life will happen if you smoke or not...ie., Jury duty, etc., so once you commit say “I no longer do that...”...we will help you hon...glad you came here and opened dialogue...~ Colleen
Sorry this went so bad the first day. Remember this is your quit. It's how your react to your husband in this case. It's not about him. We can be unpleasant and anxious when we first quit. It's part of the withdrawal. Definitely share that letter with him that was posted so he understand this can be a difficult time for you. You're going through withdrawal! Create a plan this time so you're prepared for different situations, stressors, etc. Decide if your going to use an aid in advance and which one. A 12 step program sounds great--support can make such a difference. Reach out before you smoke next time. We're here for you.
Barb
If you can prove financial hardship, they might let you out of jury duty. (see below) On the other hand, being stuck in a courtroom all day might prove to be the perfect thing for keeping you smoke free.
You say you didn't really set a quit date, nor did you prepare. That strategy didn't work too well, did it? Many if not most of the successful long-term quitters here studied the addiction and their relationship to it, learned the pitfalls, made a strong preparation before they jumped into day 1. Quitting is a Skill that CAN be Learned The more we know about the journey before we embark upon it, the better able we are to choose the safe paths through the forest of this addiction. Keep learning.
===============================
"Proving Financial Hardship
You'll have to show the court that appearing and serving on a jury would be an extreme financial hardship if you're self-employed and want to be excused. This might be easier to do than it sounds – or harder, depending on your circumstances.
Income has a lot to do with this. If you're self-employed with a low income and you provide the sole income for your family, the court is more likely to decide that it would be a severe hardship for you to serve on a jury. But if you're the owner of a start-up tech firm that's just about to go public, you're likely to have a harder time. Neither the inconvenience of being away from work nor a loss of discretionary income is likely to get you off jury duty.
If you do feel that you can prove a serious hardship, be sure to follow court rules and procedures for raising the issue early. In some states, you can fill in a form electronically before the first day you must appear for duty. In others, you must write a self-employed jury duty excuse letter or show up and make your argument in person to the judge."
OK lynnjoss so you get up and start Throw the pack out and let's do this thing. Emotions are all part of quitting My wife avoided and tiptoed but when she heard loud music se knew to just avoid coming by me actually she would wait till the volume went back to my normal setting or I turned it off. It also works while your driving The next time you get the urge and you jump in the car put your favorite song on loud and sing it may take 2 songs but I promise you It will calm you down and you might even smile at yourself for looking as goofy as I did.
You can do this
I blew a quit the one before this. I smoked like 6 cigarettes and continued on the next day. Another time I had One cigarette doesn’t mean it’s necessarily blowing it. I smoked that one once and woke up stronger from it and moved on. Everyone is different. I also didn’t set a quit date. I researched and one day just didn’t smoke. Whatever works for you, you will figure it out. You’re already thinking about it so you are on the right track.
So---OK.......how about NOT hating yourself? You blew your quit......fact. Now, start thinking about what happened, what you can do differently next time, how you can adjust to life without cigarettes. Have a conversation with your husband maybe? Let him know what you are going through. ABOVE ALL.......realize that it IS going to be tough in the beginning. Be ready for it; be ready to tell yourself...this is normal....this is ok....I can get through this.
Because you CAN do this. We all did and we are no different from you.
So no self hate......pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.
Stay Strong.