Just blew it and am hating myself right now

[lynnjoss]

I made it until 6 pm.  My husband is driving me crazy tip toeing around and hovering trying not to set me off and I blew up inside.  It came on so fast and I was in an emotional fury.....ready to just let loose on someone.....but instead i got in the car and bought a pack and sat and smoked a cigarette holding back the tears and hating myself.   That's all i can say right now.   Heading out to a 12 Step program right now.   

[Sootie]

So---OK.......how about NOT hating yourself? You blew your quit......fact. Now, start thinking about what happened, what you can do differently next time, how you can adjust to life without cigarettes. Have a conversation with your husband maybe? Let him know what you are going through. ABOVE ALL.......realize that it IS going to be tough in the beginning. Be ready for it; be ready to tell yourself...this is normal....this is ok....I can get through this.

Because you CAN do this. We all did and we are no different from you.

So no self hate......pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.

Stay Strong.

[MarilynH]

Deep breaths and prepare to start a fresh quit and turn your DAY ONE into DAY WON with many more to come, you can do this believe it and know that we're all here to help you in any way we can.....

[indingrl]

No worries and thank YOU so much for sharing YOUR courage and self honesty - I used again too and just took the SUGGESTIONS - be gentle and kind to YOUR self - welcome back - congrats on day ONE

[Giulia]

Hate the addiction, not yourself.  Next time maybe https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/message/30674-replay-the-relapse before you go to the store?  Keep working it.

[sweetplt]

lynnjoss  Honestly, don’t hate or beat yourself up...it won’t help you...please it’s ok...come here and work on it and get back in the quit...no matter how many times...eventually one of these quits will stick like glue...like you...we do...~ Colleen 397 DOF 

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Education is the key to a successful quit.  It takes a lot of hard work  and commitment to quit.  It just does not happen.  You have to be willing to be able to go through whatever and not smoke.  Anger is a trigger. Now that you have quit you are on the path of learning new coping skills. It is not easy.  It takes time and learning from mistakes NOPE  It is time to let smoking go and learn to grow into the wonderful person that you can be without a stinking cigarette.  It is a great place to get to one day at a time. Have a plan for what to do differently when you have the urge to smoke.

101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke  Start over with a commitment that NOPE no matter what

Here are a few blogs to help you along the way. /blogs/Maggie_quit_8-1-2010-blog/2010/10/02/letter-to-loved-one-when-you-are-quitting 

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2013/08/12/understanding-excuses?sr=search...‌

[lynnjoss]

So thanks so much for all the replies and encouragement.   What should I do?   I didn't really set a quit date and prepare.  Maybe I should start taking my Zyban and set another date?  Actually put a patch on too instead of just gum?   I've also been stressing about having to start Jury Duty monday, and being self employed I don't know how I will work too and keep my income coming in.......I'm really stressed out this week.   Any suggestions?    thanks again!

[maryfreecig]

So preparing means also to include strategies for the things that are likely to bother you (like hubby tip toeing). Stratgizing means making a list mental or written that details exactly what you will do (like hubby is tip toeing, I'll go on Ex and blog for example). 

Don't quit without some plan. It does not have to be elaborate--just as sincere as you can be about what you really will do to stay smober. And of course smobriety is a journey and it's taken only one day at a time. Not one week at a time, one month, one year--narrow it down to just for today.

Ex is here for you 365.

Keep reading, learning.Blog when you feel like it.

[PastTense]

It sucks to break down.  You are brave to post it here.  That shows you are committed to quitting.  And your quit is not over.

This is an opportunity to plan for the next time you are in this mental place.

You keep quitting til you're quit.  

Planning is better than crying.

And quitting is better than smoking.

You can do this.

PT