My addiction is sending me VERY brutal cravings today. I believe it is because it is the anniversary of my Moms death and the day I watched her take her last breath. How much more must I freakin endure with these cravings? Can I please have some relief after 5 months. I feel like I am about to lose my quit. I know I sound like a broken record which makes me wonder did I ever really want to quit- I honestly am just beyond frustrated with this process and am moments away from driving to the store- I hate these damn demon sticks
Community
I understand it HELPED YOU - yet for a newbie - or NML - don't YOU think it maybe too much INFO all at once coming from a HOSPICE center- just asking please don't be offended - thanks for letting ME SHARE - 
Please don't drive to the store. You've suffered a long time and worked so hard for this quit. Replay the Relapse Your mother's passing is a HUGE trigger. But you don't have to act on that trigger. Don't sit there and dwell in the well of smoking thoughts. They'll drown you for sure.
You don't have to want to quit to remain so. I didn't want to quit. But after I did, I didn't want another day one, more. THAT's what I wanted. I wanted to never have another Day One. And I knew if I smoked I would just repeat and repeat and repeat. You don't have to want to quit, you just have to accept your choice. You have to keep agreeing to get through the tough times. EACH time.
Don't forget to BREATHE. And do everything you can to get out of your head. It's messing with you. Stay true to that Best of you. You will only regret it if you go to that store. And tomorrow you'll awaken smiling less than you are now.