ARGGGGG, I WANT A CIGARETTE!!

Discussion created by minihorses on Nov 30, 2019
Latest reply on Dec 3, 2019 by Barbscloud

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It's 445 days since I quit smoking. I've been through horrendous withdrawals, cravings early in my quit, the emotional rollercoaster but prayer, determination, and EX got me through it all. Tonight my oldest son is screaming at me that I stole money from him out of his Disability check. I didn't, He pays for his car insurance, contributes a small part of his living expenses and transferring whatever money he wants to his checking acct. I hurt like hell, my patience is short and I want a cigarette. I won't have one it's just the old devil popping his head up from the cesspool. He can go back and pull the cover closed because it won't trap me again. NMW means NMW.

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19 Replies

JACKIE1-25-15 Nov 30, 2019 9:13 PM
I am sorry that you are going through this difficulty with your son but glad you have commited to NMW no matter what happens you will not smoke. Congrats on 445 DOF. NEF Day One.
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virgomama Nov 30, 2019 9:16 PM
That's the spirit, girl. Amazing how those little suckers pop up out of nowhere. I'm so glad I found this site and got the skills to deal. NOPE for me too. NMW. It wouldn't have done a thing for you except make you start at day ONE. Now that would really be an ARRGGHH!!! Good job!! Stay strong. We're still with you.
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Youngatheart.7.4.12 Nov 30, 2019 9:23 PM
To help with your resolve, know that your healing will be impacted negatively(along with EVERYTHING else) if you smoke!
Keep it all in perspective. Nothing is worth losing your quit over - NOTHING!
Glad to hear you are hanging in there.
Rest! Heal! Slow/deep breaths!

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Gwenivere Nov 30, 2019 11:55 PM
Congrats on your 445 days! I’ll hit a year Monday. Every now and then I want a real cigarette. But I can’t imagine actually smoking it. It’s been so long. It’s seeing people in shows that take me back to that time I did the same thing, for being stressed or just something I did. I miss the rush. I’m still using NRTs, so have changed my addition, but there’s no doubt my breathing is much improved. Even using spray deodorant bothers my lungs now. I guess I’m just slow to get away from the nicotine. Anyway, you aren’t alone in those fierce desires. I’m hoping one day I’ll just forget to have some. It’s happened a couple times but then catches up. With the emotional holidays coming for me, I’m not going to sweat it right now. All my docs know and are just glad about the smoke part. None have blinked about the NRTs.

What is NMW?
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- virgomama @ Gwenivere on Dec 1, 2019 12:23 AM
  No Matter What
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  - Wingsofanangle @ virgomama on Dec 1, 2019 6:37 PM
    NMW I Plan to be Smoke Free the End of Dec, I had my Doc write a Scribe for me for Chantix In Nov, And I've gone Slow Turkey with it for over 2 weeks now, And For 3 -5 Days not smoking at all. I started with Chantix still smoking, And am still having 1 maybe 2 But I don't smoke the whole Cigarette, So now this tells me I can, And will be Smoke Free on my Quit day Dec 31st 2019
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    - virgomama @ Wingsofanangle on Dec 1, 2019 9:50 PM
      Good job!!..Hope you're working on a plan and doing lots of research for when that day comes. The more prepared you are the better your success rate. You will not regret quitting. It is a whole other world. And I love it.
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- Barbscloud @ Gwenivere on Dec 1, 2019 6:43 AM
  Big congrats on your one year smoke free tomorrow. I know it's been a struggle, but you did it!
  Barb
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- sweetplt @ Gwenivere on Dec 1, 2019 9:17 AM
  Congratulations Gwenivere on 1 Year quit...I am so proud of you...you really have had such a rough journey and yet you kept the quit...be proud and be happy...because you are doing it...Happy Sunday...~ Colleen 363 DOF
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elvan Dec 1, 2019 8:46 AM
Julie,
I am so sorry you are going through this, I woke up thinking of you and wondering how your shoulder was doing. Pain was always a trigger for me but it isn't any more (good thing since it isn't going anywhere). I am really sorry about your son and I hope that he figures out what he did with the money and will apologize for adding to your misery.

Hang in there, you are doing SO well, I hope the rehab goes well once it starts. I remember actually looking forward to it...it tired me out but it really did seem to help and I got stronger every day...kind of like quitting smoking.
Love and gentle hugs,
Ellen
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Barbscloud Dec 1, 2019 8:51 AM
Someone had very upset early in the morning last week. It did cross my mind, but instead I went in the bedroom and screamed as loud as I could. I hope no one heard me. No Matter What is right!
Barb
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- minihorses @ Barbscloud on Dec 2, 2019 6:55 PM
  Who cares if they heard you scream. You're only human. Besides, I' sure they've' let off steam in some similar way. Don' worry about it. At least you didn't biCCh slap them.
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  - Barbscloud @ minihorses on Dec 3, 2019 8:41 AM
    They might have called the police thinking there was a murder in progress.
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indingrl.01.06.2011 Dec 1, 2019 10:44 AM
Just for today - Yahoooooooooo - CONGRATS JULIE YOUR CHOOSING NICOTINE FREEDOM
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Marilyn.H.July.14.14. Dec 1, 2019 6:42 PM
Huge caring but very gentle hug coming your way sweetie, you've got this quit firmly in your grasp N.M.W. I'm sending up good thoughts and prayers for you. ♥
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Daniela-3-11-2016 Dec 1, 2019 6:48 PM
You know too well that is not the answer!!! You've been through some difficult times with the surgery, please remember we are here, right on your side. I am sorry you have to have hard words with your son, when what you need most right now is put all your efforts in your healing. Hoping things will calm down, when in such difficult moments myself, deep breathing always gets me out of the anxiety caused by the conflict.
Hugs, love, and wishes of speedy recovery for you!
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Barb102 Dec 2, 2019 1:27 AM
Julie you are doing great. You worked so very hard for your quit. Please don’t let anyone or anything take it from you. Smoking never solves or helps anything NMW. NOPE. Protect your quit. Gentle hugs to you
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DavesTime Dec 2, 2019 10:52 AM
Julie, I am just seeing this now, as I have been away from EX this weekend. I hope NMW got you through these last couple of days alright, but I know you've got this. I'm sorry your son is treating you that way, and that you have to deal with that on top of recovering from your shoulder surgery. Those pesky stress-induced urges are a pain in the butt, but that is all they are...and we no longer have to act on them, do we? Take care, quit-sis.
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Christine13 Dec 2, 2019 12:31 PM
Oh I'm so glad to read that NMW you won't smoke. Sorry about what your son was thinking and that he upset you so.
Praying for a good recovery for you.
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ARGGGGG, I WANT A CIGARETTE!!

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