Getting ready to quit. Not quite there

[Ldorman1014]

So im getting ready to quit. Mostly because of the pressure from my doctors and family.  I don't want to quit. I love smoking.  Ive smoked since I was 16 and Im now 45.  But im at a family thanksgiving gathering right now, and again, I am the only smoker left.  The same as everywhere else I go in my life.  This part I hate.  Removing myself from the group to smoke.  Grrrrr.  Any advice is appreciated.  Ive been wearing patches and tbey do nothing. Even at the highest level.  I dont know how im going to get iver the cravings!! Which is why I haven't chosen a quit date.  I also have crohns disease.  And they think I will feel TONS of relief of a current flare up if I quit.  Im not even motivated by that.  I have an addictive personality.  Im addictied to a lot of things that aren't good for me.  But this is the worst one. Im so tired of the judgement and disappointment in peoples eyes when I smoke.  Help!!

Laura

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

You have come to the right place!  You don't have to want to quit smoking, but you must be willing to quit smoking.  After you read the Allen Carr book I will recommend, I bet you will start to wonder what, exactly, you love about smoking.  You will understand that all you believe it does for you (and that you love about it) is a LIE created by the people who made addicts of us all  for their financial benefit - to our physical (and mental) detriment! You will understand, too, that this addiction has two parts - physical AND psychological.  Probably the reason you are still having cravings while using the patch is the mental associations and triggers that you are experiencing and with which you always dealt by smoking.  We will give you tips to deal with those.  Do the reading and prep work, get support from those of us who have been through it, commit to it and you CAN be successful.

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.”  This easy and entertaining read gave me a whole new understanding of nicotine addiction, opened my eyes to its insidious effects, and I give its information credit for my quit success on my very first attempt at it.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for four reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion,  3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire and 4) you can become addicted to that and it has not yet been proven safe .
 

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[Ldorman1014]

Thank you! This is extremely helpful.  I appreciate how much you have shared.  I like that the beginning is becoming educated. That totally makes sense. Ill get to work on that part.

Laura 

[virgomama]

You won't regret it.

[maryfreecig]

I knew my dependency on cigarettes was insane but certainly I didn't want to stop. It was ALL addiction of course. Please don't  make it easier on yourself to stay smoking by believing that you have an addictive personality. Anyone can become an addict. It's getting out of addiction that is the real work. And the truth is, that once you are free from your addiction you will have a hard time understanding why you couldn't see the dependency for what it really is.

No nicotine addict loves a cigarette without nicotine, cigarettes are designed to be as smoke-able as possible by manufacturers (like flies to a bell jar). Tobacco, real tobacco, is hardly smoke-able--it is offensive, difficult to inhale. 

If you are not motivated to quit.You can try a few reality checks. Get a big glass jar, add every spent butt to the jar--do not empty and keep it out in the open--a main area where you usual take notice in your home. Keep adding the butts. Also video yourself talking about how much you love smoking and that you do not want to stop. Be natural, don't worry about what you say or how it will sound. Wait a few days and then play the video-- watch yourself on a full screen monitor, lap top (not on a mini camera screen or phone screen). Watch some smokers--ask yourself--are they smoking because they love it, or because they have to?

You smoke because you have to. So did I. When I quit, I had to learn how to live without smoking. You'd think it would be easy enough (for some it is), but all my smoking lobotomized my common sense--I had to relearn that too. Thought I couldn't. But I did. Here at Ex there are a ton of quitters who once loved smoking. I quit six years ago and counting and that is 51,767 cigarettes not smoked. Those cigarettes would not have brought me one stitch of happiness, just another fix for an unquenchable desire.

[Ldorman1014]

Wow! Thank you for sharing!

[WaynenMary]

Ldorman1014‌ great job on reaching out. We are all addicts here. The only reason why I liked smoking was because it fed that addict, but the more I fed that addict the sicker I got both mentally  and physically, and the addicts grip was stronger.  I have to say the only way out is through, and what I mean is there will be craves, and yes they do suck, coming here and reaching out helps, get yourself ready. Can  you quit when you will be home? Wayne and I quit on the weekend and we stayed inside the entire time. Get yourself some straws and stick a cotton ball on the end, this may give you the satisfaction  of drawing, get puzzles, draw, read, write anything to keep your hands and mind busy. We have all been there. Again great job reaching out. 

[Rosie1917]

Ooooh! I really like the idea of cotton balls at the end of a straw! I'm going to try this too. Deep breathing has helped me considerably, but it doesn't work all the time, and adding another tool can't hurt. Thank you for this super fun suggestion!

[Barbscloud]

Rosie, they're lots of tool out there to try.  We all probably have our favorites.   I used Sour Patch Kids, chewing on straws, walking, video games, and the Ex.  Read posts on the site and you'll get lots of ideas and advice.  

And remind yourself  "I don't do that anymore".

Barb

[sweetplt]

Hi and Welcome to Ex’s Ldorman1014 

You received good advice above me...do the work suggested...and remember YOU are worth the quit....and we are all in this journey together...keep close to the support site and we will help you...~ Colleen 360 DOF