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Give and get support around quitting

2019steph
Member

Tomorrow it is.

Hello everyone. My quit dates tomorrow. I'm 28 and have been smoking 14 years. This is one of so many quits in this last year (before this last year I was pregnant, and TBH I snuck hits in here and there during the pregnancy until about 4 months postpartum when I full blown stated again and that makes feel like a POS). I'm going through another spurt of strength or motivation and I'm trying to capitalize on it once again. I live with my 19 month old daughter and my boyfriend of eleven year's. He's a smoker too but has no plans to quit. I find that the evening is one big trigger. He gets home, I get the baby to sleep and then start studying and doing homework. Those three things really set my mind into smoking mode I can literally make it until 330 pm before the cravings come and I cave. When I go out on errands I'm good too until I get home. Going to my moms is trigger but I go there very, very often (she doesn't smoke but growing up in that house smoking and drinking it's a familiarity thing). And even if keep myself busy I'm afraid my 'break' will be a cig. What were your best breaks that you replaced with smokes? I really just want to be free, I don't want to beat myself up everyday and night anymore, I don't want to do it anymore. My self esteem is so low because I've just been kicking myself for being to weak to quit for years. I feel like until I quit I can't prove to myself that I can do anything right. I'm really struggling with my image as a mom and trying to balance work, school and family just feels like everything I do is not good enough or right in the first place. I feel like quitting will open a new level of mental clarity so I can focus on finding what makes life full. Sorry for the rant.

10 Replies
2019steph
Member

I forgot to add that I told my mom about the quit and her friend gave me some patches. I thought that was great because I was considering an NRT

0 Kudos
sweetplt
Member

Welcome to Day 1 and rant away...we get it...2019steph did you do the readings here and planning for this day?  Tell your boyfriend for now he must smoke outside and away from you...and to hide all smoking paraphernalia...all of this will help you and be healthier for your baby.  Today, drink lots of water, keep busy, take a walk when you feel stress, pray, meditate and learn breathing exercises, etc.,  You can do this...and I think you will find your busy like will have more time without the smokes...we are here to help, keep close...~ Colleen 350 DOF 

2019steph
Member

Oh no way we don't smoke in the house! We hang out in the garage and smoke there. I've done a lot of reading here and at no butts I set triggers and alternatives. I think being here with you guys while been here will be the biggest help!! I told him not to leave any smokes and I have some patches to help the initial Wells ahead. I feel good so far but over only been up for so long lol.

2019steph
Member

Oh yes I also found a free epub of the ready way to quit and am reading it.

0 Kudos
YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

What will you do differently this time?  Einstein stated that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result!  I would suggest you spend some time educating yourself about this addiction, planning and preparing for this quit, getting involved here in the community, and committing to never smoking another cigarette NO MATTER WHAT.  We can help with all but the commitment - you will need to supply that!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.


 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. Be sure to match the patch strength to what you are currently smoking.  Each cigarette is about 1 mg. of nicotine, so if you are smoking a pack a day, you would use the 21 mg. patch.
 

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  Get right up after dinner and start the clean up.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.  Ask your boyfriend to support you by not smoking in front of you (I hope you all didn't smoke inside) and keeping his supplies hidden out of your sight.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...


The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

2019steph
Member

Hope long did you have distract yourself through your chances? Weeks or days or months?

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YoungAtHeart
Member

The first couple of weeks were the most difficult, but as the nicotine is out of your system, you change up your routines to reduce the associations and triggers, and the nicotine fueled brain sensors start to die off, it gets easier and easier.  You just must give it the time it takes, and accept that it is never again going to be possible for you to have "just one."  Everyone is different, but the more you work at this, the easier on yourself it will be. I think I was feeling pretty stable after a month. Keep in mind that all you thought smoking did for you was a lie - and you are not giving up a thing.  You can get that same hit of dopamine from singing aloud or dancing to your favorite music, or marching in place, or doing a couple sets of stairs, or taking a quick, brisk walk.  Get your daughter involved in doing some of those things with you - get silly, too - laughter produces dopamine, too!

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Cousin-Itt
Member

2019steph ‌ You have great advice above Just want to share a thought after reading your post. 

You are a working mom, I'm guessing who spends as much quality time as possible with your daughter, Going to school to make a better life for you and your family.    I don't believe it's low self esteem you are suffering from  Look what is on your plate probably tired or wore out.  Your image as a mother only You know in your heart what type of mother you are and proof of you asking for help shows what type of mother you are 

Now quitting smoking will free up so much extra time to give to your daughter and homework and recharge life 

You can do this

Carl     1198 DOF

2019steph
Member

I work part time, but school is full time. I'm lucky, I'm a sub and I get to choose my days!! I'm always exhausted since my daughter's not very good at sleeping.