Help me understand what it is I don’t get! Why I’m still smoking. Mind boggling. I’m 61. Lifetime smoker, minus couple years. Obviously catching up to me. Last year my stop lasted five days. Was out of town and enjoying my adult son. After departing, what did I do!?! Frustrating attempts since with the most recent, two weeks ago I spent six days with nonsmoking girlfriends on a FL vacation. Again, surprisingly easy. Until I landed back in my cold state, hopped in my car, triggers pulled forcefully. Bought a pack next morning. Guilt driven. Get this, tomorrow I’m scheduled for a 48 hr heart monitor. Other tests are scheduled from CT precancer lung screening, pulmonary, all as a result of f*********g cigarettes!?! And I’m still puffing!!! Now I believe I need to practice mindfulness further because it makes sense with the times I’ve made the connection but it’s the rest of the day that’s dangerous. Ugh. Sometimes I feel hopeless. Nothing worse. Enough said. Thanks for being a safe place to express !!