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Give and get support around quitting

jobecause
Member

I'm frustrated and worried

Hello, I'm 27, been smoking a pack everyday for almost three years. I stopped once before around 23 for two years but sadly picked it back up over something stupid.

I Signed up today. I left my cigarettes at home by accident on the way to work this morning. I freaked out and yelled in my car, I was driving reckless to get to a gas station. Upon driving up to the store, I oddly had a sudden urge to just pass by the store and quit right now.. Go into work and just rough it out going forward. So I did, which felt great and awful all at once because I felt like I wouldn't last deep down. Once into work, I found this website, signed up, and took the advice on planning a date. November 25th. (Mostly because i'm already breaking down and want one, I still feel unable to harness the discipline I once had.)

My issue is, I don't know how I quit before, cigarettes have completely tarnished my self discipline and thrown me into depression. When I quit at 23 I had a go get'm attitude about life, I really excelled for a while, quit cigs with a girl, moved away her for two years. She broke things off with me, I moved back, got a dream job and met another girl. She was nearly ten years older than me and she smoked cigarettes. I started to look cool to her, now i'm about to turn 27. I've smoked for almost as long as I did from 19-23. I managed to kick an addiction of Adderall so I could quit smoking and quit pornography. I just cant seem to find the leap.

I'm worried I wont get it back, my addictions will stack up, I'll lose even more motivation in life and i'll be stuck with not enough energy to get out of this hole. I don't know if anyone else has a similar story? Knows someone that does? My depression runs deep and I think cutting the addictions I have is my only chance of saving my self discipline and feeling like I should have a purpose. Sorry for the emotional spew, I'm tired of relapsing. 

14 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

I don't know how you prepared for your previous quit, but if you read all I give you and take the tips to heart, you CAN do this.  I smoked for longer than you have been alive and I have been quit now for 7 + years - and I accomplished it on my first ever attempt.  Do the prep and planning work, hang around our community for support and wisdom and then COMMIT not to smoke another cigarette NO MATTER WHAT and you can be successful, too!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.  This made a world of difference in how I viewed smoking and was one of the biggest contributors to my success, I believe.


 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for four reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion,  3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire and 4) you can become addicted to that and it has not yet been proven safe .
 

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

jobecause
Member

Thank you for the information, everyone is so nice. I don't feel alone

PastTense
Member

Welcome, jobecause‌!  I am glad you found this site.  You can find a wealth of information, tips, tricks, and, most importantly, SUPPORT.

You are wise to be concerned about what it takes to quit.  You are breaking and addiction and that isn't easy.  However, there are methods that you can use to increase the odds of your success.

You are off to a good start - you signed up here and have scheduled a quit date.  I encourage you to also create a quit plan.  My personal experience is that a quit plan makes a difference.  You can start working on yours on this site.  Decide if you need to use medications, or the patch, or go cold turkey.  Start writing down your triggers for smoking.  Break time?  In the car?  Cup of coffee?  Once you know what they are, start thinking about what you could do instead (take a walk?  Suck on a straw?  Deep breathing?)

There are people who recommend you read Allan Carr's book.  I find the man insufferable but every person is different you do what works for your quit.

Read all you can about smoking and breaking the addiction.  THe more you know, the more likely you are to succedd.

I'll be on the look out for you

PT

Keep the Quit
PT
jobecause
Member

Thank you PT, I'm glad I found the site too, thanks for looking out for me. I'll take everyones advice and do my research.

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Welcome to the EX community.  It seems that you have gone through quite a bit for 27 years old but just keep on living.  It is a good thing that you want to kick the addiction.  I don't have all of the answers for you.  I do suggest that you slow it down and take it one day at a time.  The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.  Education is the key to a successful quit. Quitting takes work, patience, perseverance and the commitment never to touch another cigarette no matter what.  NOPE no matter what! The good thing is that you found the right place to get the https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2013/08/11/foundation-for-a-successful-qui... 

jobecause
Member

Thanks Jackie, I'll take your advice in educating myself. I'm going to check out the foundation for a successful quit now. 

0 Kudos
indingrl
Member

Welcome and YOUR doing GOODno worries YOUR not ALONE - WAY TO GO - choosing YOUR NEW non smoker living one day at a time - CONGRATS ON DAY ONE - Yahooooooooooo - GOOD JOB

maryfreecig
Member

Well you've already done a lot of work to get yourself toward quitting. Congratulations. And Ex is here for you 365. Most smokers feel that quitting is impossible. But it isn't. I once had a happy quit, too. My second time around was rough...but it has stuck and I cherish it. You can get to a better place in your head about quitting and about your quit one day at a time. Stick with Ex. Yes you can.

jobecause
Member

This really helped, thank you.