Hello, I'm 27, been smoking a pack everyday for almost three years. I stopped once before around 23 for two years but sadly picked it back up over something stupid.
I Signed up today. I left my cigarettes at home by accident on the way to work this morning. I freaked out and yelled in my car, I was driving reckless to get to a gas station. Upon driving up to the store, I oddly had a sudden urge to just pass by the store and quit right now.. Go into work and just rough it out going forward. So I did, which felt great and awful all at once because I felt like I wouldn't last deep down. Once into work, I found this website, signed up, and took the advice on planning a date. November 25th. (Mostly because i'm already breaking down and want one, I still feel unable to harness the discipline I once had.)
My issue is, I don't know how I quit before, cigarettes have completely tarnished my self discipline and thrown me into depression. When I quit at 23 I had a go get'm attitude about life, I really excelled for a while, quit cigs with a girl, moved away her for two years. She broke things off with me, I moved back, got a dream job and met another girl. She was nearly ten years older than me and she smoked cigarettes. I started to look cool to her, now i'm about to turn 27. I've smoked for almost as long as I did from 19-23. I managed to kick an addiction of Adderall so I could quit smoking and quit pornography. I just cant seem to find the leap.
I'm worried I wont get it back, my addictions will stack up, I'll lose even more motivation in life and i'll be stuck with not enough energy to get out of this hole. I don't know if anyone else has a similar story? Knows someone that does? My depression runs deep and I think cutting the addictions I have is my only chance of saving my self discipline and feeling like I should have a purpose. Sorry for the emotional spew, I'm tired of relapsing.