Help me get thru this please!!!

[Lori24201]

My name is Lori, I used to smoke about a pack and a 1/2 A-day which = 35 cigaret a day.  On October 30th  my husband  Was admitted to the hospital. He has been dealing with a very weak heart for the last couple of years. And this time it almost took his life. His heart function was down to 10% he had filled up with water and was basically drowning. His heart is in such bad shape, He is going to need an LVAD (left ventrical assistance device) or a heart transplant... For either of these surgical procedures he cannot be around a smoker whatsoever and I must quit and I must quit now.. On the 1st day I tried to put them down I ended up picking up the pack 7 times and smoke 7 cigarets. The 2nd day I smoke 9 cigarets the 3rd day I smoke 10 cigarettes... I am dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety. I have a 14 mg patch that I have been wearing but it doesn't seem to help much. Me urges are strong and severe and  The withdrawals are very intense. I have emotions and anxiety but I'm not sure of it has to do with the situation at hand or of its actually just from quitting smoking... I have joined several support groups when none of them seem to offer Someone to talk to when you're going through your extreme urges and cravings. That's what I need help with I don't have medication so it's getting extremely hard to fight off after I fight the urges I sometimes feel very tired and wanna go to sleep. I did notice a couple of times after going several hours without a cigaret the smoking it made me feel ill and sick to my stomach. I was very weak at the knees and light headed. Which I didn't like cause I always enjoyed smoking a cigarette. So at this point I don't know what to do or where to turn to get help. I just started this and I know is going to be very hard on me especially with all the stress it is occurring in my life.. If anybody could help or tell me what to do I sure would appreciate it because I have to do it no matter what.

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Good morning Lori and welcome to EX.  You have come to the right place for support to help you and your husband have a better quality of life. 

Welcome to the beginning of what can be your forever quit.  Have you set a date? I believe you can quit smoking if you make quitting smoking your number one priority. One thing you have to do is get rid of the smoking paraphernalia. Smokes, ashtrays, lighters.  Anything associated with smoking. You can do this if you make up your mind that you can. 

Relearning your thinking that you do not have to smoke is a good beginning.  No matter what,  make a commitment never ever take another puff.  NOPE.  Take smoking off the table as an option and do something different. 101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke SINAO smoking is not an option.  That is NOPE concept Not one puff ever. We have to be willing to do the work. It is not by will power but your willingness to do this.   Quitting is the easy part.  Staying quit takes work.   Learning to protect your quit will keep on your journey forever freedom. This journey is one day at a time. 

Education is the key to successfully quit. Read, Study, Blog and be willing to do the work.  With the help of the to EX Community you can have a forever quit.  Start by educating yourself about the addiction to nicotine. Know the LAW!  If you Go to My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX and review the videos and learn more about what your triggers and how to prepare when the urge hits.   

Again, I am a firm believer education is the key to success. I was advised to read Allen Carr's Easyway to Quit Smoking which can be found on pdf on the web.  Another good site to get info that was very helpful to me is  www.whyquit.com.  There are several articles to read.  Nicotine 101 and Freedom From Nicotine My Journey Home.  To get help on navigating the site go to. Community Help‌   Never give up, never give in. Hang tough Stay Close. 

[indingrl]

Welcome and BREATHE - 3 deep breathes - please it was SUGGESTED to ME to  - EDUCATE - it is the key to a NEW WAY OF THINKING NOT FEELING THINKING - EDUCATE YOURSELF on YOUR NICOTINE ADDICTION - it is NOT easy yet. - 21 days to break a habit and FACT- THREE DAYS ALL NICOTINE IS OUT OF YOUR BODY - the rest is YOUR old ADDICT MIND - YOU need to THINK NEW not let YOUR feelings DO YOUR THINKING for YOU - by educating YOURSELF-  YOU are getting NEW way of living one breathe one moment one second at a time - breathe 3 deep breathes -  NEW thoughts - NEW ideas of coping with YOUR  insides and responding to life on life's terms - ONE day at a time - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - TODAY make a decision for YOUR self - to be a non smoker TODAY or not - YOU must choose it is YOUR life - continue sucking on death to cope with YOUR real life or live one day at a time - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER over YOU to COPE with YOU - it is YOUR PERSONAL CHOICE - gentle hug

[JonesCarpeDiem]

First,

Every time you want to smoke say "i'm going to wait a little longer."

Don't deny yourself, don't count.

just say that phrase.

This will make you start thinking before you smoke and you will smoke less automatically without becoming frantic.

After you've quit say, "I don't do that anymore" every time you think of smoking.

If you're going to use an NRT, I suggest the patch. Using that prevents you from starting the reward cycle with NRT's but still gives you nicotine.

Use the patch strength based on what you were smoking just before you started using the patch. 

[MarilynH]

Welcome to the community please read the links suggested above me and keep reading everything you can because there's a wealth of information right here on this site to strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb permanently it's not easy by any stretch of the imagination but thankfully with commitment and perseverance you will make it through the roller coaster ups and downs and into that good place in your quit where you realize how much better life is without the crutch of cigarettes and we're all here to help you in any way we can, I'm sending up good thoughts and prayers for you and your husband, please stay close to this site and blog HELP if you need us......

[Barbara145]

Quitting smoking is difficult for most of us.  First of all you need a 21 mg patch.  I also used the nicotine gum when I was having a bad craving. Those things don't quit for you but they were a huge help for me.  I could not have quit without them or this site.  You can do this!  Saying prayers for your husband and you.  So glad you found this site. 

[Giulia]

Welcome, Lori.  Sit back, relax and read.  Reading will help reinforce the positives.  Quitting is a transforming experience.  It's tough in the beginning but it gets easier as time passes.  We have to learn how to change our minds.  And that takes time.  But reading is one of the best tools out there.  Understanding the "why" we smoke is the beginning key for many of us.  This is more than just a bad habit.  If you can, try to see quitting as a wonderful challenge rather than this thing you MUST DO.  You just need a little willingness to venture into this new you.  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/positive-affirmations-and-support/blog/2017/10/24/its-gonn...‌

[sweetplt]

Hi lori24201 And Welcome to Ex's...

I am so sorry that you are going through a rough time...unfortunately, there is no good time to quit and no good time not to quit...You have today...you need to make a plan...you need to commit to the plan...you need to come here for support and help...we are in this journey together.  Call 1800 quit now and find someone to speak to about quitting...

You can do this...we too have so much on our plate and yet we had to quit...and my no means hon is this easy...but it is doable ... "one step at a time"...reach out and we will reach in...May God bless you and your husband...Colleen 336 DOF 

[elvan]

Welcome to EX,  you have gotten great advice above, Lori.  We are all here to help each other and lots of us made many attempts to quit smoking in the past but did not succeed.  I am so sorry about your husband's health, my husband has heart issues too although they are not as severe as your husband's.  I quit smoking because of what it did to ME, I have COPD and I am reminded constantly that I did not have to be here if only I had quit before it got so bad.  I can tell you that I have not smoked now in 5 years and 9+ months and I have NEVER regretted quitting.  I won't tell you that it was easy because it wasn't.  It was a one day at a time, sometimes one FEELING at a time journey.  Smoking does not relieve stress or anxiety, it contributes to them.  Smoking does nothing FOR us, only TO us.  When we smoked, we stuffed our feelings into the cigarettes, we were convinced that they relieved our stress when, in actuality, they just relieved our need for a "fix".  Breathing is a HUGE part of this recovery, taking a deep breath in and holding it for few seconds and then exhaling through pursed lips.  Learning to feel out feelings instead of stuffing them is quite a journey, we never learned because we were always smoking so now, those feelings come out with even more intensity than they would for someone who learned as they were developing.  I started smoking at age 17 and that's where my emotional growth ended...it didn't really start again until I quit and that was challenging.  You have a lot to deal with but smoking won't make anything better.  I used the mantra NOPE, Not One Puff Ever, when I came here because it made so much sense to me, it was easy to remember and to say to myself or say it out loud or whisper or yell.  I KNEW that there was no such thing as one puff for an addict and I knew that I was an addict.

Education about this addiction, support from others who have been there, and my own commitment not to smoke, no matter what, have gotten me to where I am.  I came here every morning and every evening and I read blogs and I commented and I listened when advice was offered.  EX became the place where I went whenever I felt stressed or sad or uncomfortable.  I learned that no crave ever killed anyone but that no one could say that about smoking.  

You CAN do this and you are not alone.

Welcome to EX,

Ellen

[maryfreecig]

So your back was put against the wall to quit for his sake. There are as many motivators as there are quitters, but it sounds to me that this is not motivating you to quit. I understand. I quit when I finally made the decision. I wasn't feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place when I quit, but I did find getting over smoking to be very challenging. 

Most people come to quitting by thinking it through, making a plan of sorts. It sounds like you were'nt given any info just a demand to stop now. Who ever told you this must have had the best of intentions, but it didn't work. You need to talk to your doctor--ask about medication options. Your health and welfare matter too. Quitting is a process--please start preparing to quit, rather than rushing to get it done yesterday.