Slogging through the swamp

[PastTense]

I really thought I would feel more quit by now.

I am still teetering over the abiss of addiction with only determination to keep my on the right side of the cliff.

Of course, the more I post on this site the further back from the edge I am.  Alas, circumstances and then pure laziness kept me off the site for a while.  Laziness or the pull of nicotine??  I would dearly love to blame the substance for the lack of effort, but that would not be true and if I don't face the truth fully, I will never, ever be truly quit. 

  I already KNOW I need to be here every day.  So if I don't make the effort to sign in, that is just giving myself permission to fall off the quit. 

I need this quit to stick so I am owning it.  I know that if I can stick with it long enough, being smoke-free will feel as normal as smoking ever did.  I just need to power through until that magic moment in time.

It's okay if this didn't make sense to anybody but me.  I'm here and posting which means the Quit is still strong.  At least, strong enough to go one more day.

Thanks, all y'all, for being here

PT

[Barbscloud]

Ain't that the truth.  You're at 3 months?    I know some don't believe in NML, but I know I went through it.   It's easy to think we quit and this should all be over with.  My quit was very emotional and it took me along time to actually feel better.   I like that "feeling more quit".   That probably means different things to different people.  That is one thing I learned from this site--it is a journey.   There are up an downs and challenges along the way.   You're doing great and I know you go this!    Reaching out here helped me get through many a rough day.  Continue to stay close.

Barb

[YoungAtHeart]

You really are almost THERE! Challenging days and hours will still happen, but you should start to notice them getting a bit less frequent and further apart.

Hang tough!  You are DOING this thing!  Keep at it!

Nancy

[maryfreecig]

You will see the light at the end of the tunnel and it won't be a train coming. Great blog. Thanks for sharing about the work it takes to manage to keep smobriety.

[sweetplt]

Good to see you PastTense PT...and glad you are still working your quit..~ Colleen 331 DOF 

[elvan]

I remember feeling like you do, only I felt it much, much earlier.  I thought that after a couple of weeks, I should be feeling MUCH better.  When I went to my first EX reunion, they had printed out blogs for people to read.  That was mine...I had, by that time, been quit for over a year and I was so embarrassed...I wasn't even CLOSE to NML.  I DID come to the site every morning and every evening for a shot of wisdom...NML was definitely real for me too but I was actually afraid for it to end, if that makes any sense.  I wasn't sure I was ready to leave that place where I felt so supported.  SURPRISE, the support did not end, it never ends.  We all want each other to succeed.  We all want to share what has worked for us in the hopes that it may work for someone else.  I really hope you can stay closer to the site...you have a lot to offer.

Ellen