malicostal

Hoping to quit smoking

Discussion created by malicostal on Oct 28, 2019
Latest reply on Oct 28, 2019 by elvan

I have tried to stop smoking for 10 years now. This is the first time I have ever tried a program like this but I feel out of options. Here is a little of my story this far. When I first got married 10 years ago it was with the understanding that I would quit smoking which I wanted to. However my husband has the outlook of cold Turkey and dont look back. Well I failed. I kept going back to trying but kept failing. I couldnt let my husband know because he would divorce me and I dont have friends that I can talk to. Its hard to reach out to family and them to actually pick up a phone. So for 10 years now I've been going at trying to quit pretty much by myself cold turkey with the threat of divorce always over my head when I once again fail. On top of the threat of divorce I found out about 4 years ago that my mother had colorectal cancer and that it was the genetic form. Smoking increases chances to go up significantly. So on top of the concerns for the impact of my inability to quit on my marriage there is now added my health. Around this time I also graduated from college. Yay, a good point, however I am a teacher. I am a role model for children. This role does turn off once school is out. It is constant as long as you are in the public eye. Being a role model, a teacher can lose consideration for a teaching position  because they do smoke.  So needless to say I have several reasons why I want to quit smoking but can't. I feel like that I've been trying to quit cold turkey so long that I must not have enough will-power or I'm just plain stupid or that I'm inferior even knowing what all I have on the line and i can't seem to stop. I'm just tired of feeling alone with no one there when i try to stop. Starting to feel hopeless.

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