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I felt horrible for 2 1/2 months physically and mentally ... help

Question asked by Rotweiler2 on Oct 27, 2019
Latest reply on Oct 31, 2019 by Rotweiler2

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I quit smoking cold turkey 2 1/2 months ago. My entire body felt like it was dipped into novocaine and I was aggravated, arguing with my wife constantly, being mean and overly sensitive.

Starting Wellbutrin, almost 2 months in, helped a bit with the physical symptoms, but the aggravation would not stop.

Three days ago I bought a pack and started smoking 4-5 cigarettes a day and besides the guilt, disappointment, and health worries ... I feel better.

I don't want to smoke again, but I don't want to be so darn aggravated and on edge anymore either. It's not a lack of self-discipline - these feelings were so powerful, overwhelming and horrible. Plus the absolute exhaustion, despite sleeping 9-10 h a night... just not normal!

I quit before but never had these horrible side effects! I usually had so much energy that I had to go on long hikes every day and any physical symptoms stopped after 3 days ... this time is for some reason is the complete opposite.

Any advise would be appreciated.

Thank you

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23 Replies

marciem Oct 28, 2019 10:31 AM
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I'm so sorry you felt so terrible!! And sorry you tossed your quit.

My only advice would be to stay on the Wellbutrin and plan a new quit date (the sooner the better). Most people I know who have used Wellbutrin as a quit-aid started it prior to quitting, and it did take the edge down for them. So continue that per your doctors instructions and go at it again, Maybe with a full load of it on board prior to quitting, you won't have those horrendous symptoms.

You will go through withdrawal again. And mood swings, anger, rage, euphoria, tiredness/insomnia... those are all normal withdrawal symptoms. Maybe the Wellbutrin can tone those down to the tolerable range for you... I really hope it does!

Quitting smoking is the best thing you can do for yourself and your loved ones. Never give up on it, the rewards are worth the efforts and temporary bad feelings!
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Gwenivere Oct 28, 2019 5:07 PM
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I’m not familiar with Wellbutrin beyond what I have read. I have an anxiety disorder and take other anti anxiety meds to control it. My anxiety went bonkers when I quit. Even with NRT's. It baffles me that you would have such a different reaction. I hope you have informed your doctor especially since you have a new med in your system. I, too, read people feel less anxiety with quitting, but that has not been the case for me either. So, you are not alone there. I wish I did have some advice other than calling your doc. It’s the only logical 1st thing I can think of.
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Barbscloud Oct 28, 2019 5:51 PM
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I used Welbutrin to quit. I had a very long emotional quit, but not what you're describing. Withdrawal physically and emotionally is normal. I wish I could help you more, but I think you should discuss with a professional. Maybe something else is going on. Please stay close and reach out so we can continue to support you with your quit.
Barb
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Rotweiler2 Oct 28, 2019 6:02 PM
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Thank you both for caring and responding.
I went to the drug store today and got nicotine lozenges instead of cigarettes. While I hate just replacing cigs with another method of nicotine delivery, it is better than smoking! I’ll try to stay at 3-5 pieces of 1/2 lozenges (1mg) and hopefully some day soon I get over the memory of these quite terrifying feelings and I can quitt these pills too. It was like my personality changed and I am not ready for that again!
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- JACKIE1-25-15 @ Rotweiler2 on Oct 28, 2019 6:12 PM
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  I am very sorry that this quit has been very difficult for you. I can imagine stopping something and starting it again can be aggravating in itself. Are you following the directions for the medicine? Are you drinking alcohol? I use welbutrin and was successful with it. I used it for 90 days it did take the edge off of the withdrawals but I still had to go through the agony of thinking about a cigarette. I used self talk to get me through the hardest times. I hope that you get started back and do not give up. You have to be willing to do whatever is necessary not to smoke. Not by power, not by might but by the willingness to not ever take another puff.
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- Barbscloud @ Rotweiler2 on Oct 28, 2019 6:12 PM
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  There's nothing wrong with using NRT. Many have been successful quitting using different methods. It's what works for you. Please discuss the Welbutrin with the prescribing doctor though to make sure everything is ok. Glad to hear you're no giving up in spite of a rough beginning. Big congrats on 2.5 months of success!
  Barb
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- Roj @ Rotweiler2 on Oct 28, 2019 9:23 PM
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  You know when I tried to quit a few years back I used chantix....it made me a raging bi**h and I swear my non smoking husband asked me to stop the med and smoke again, it was that bad...I was crazy!!!! Maybe the Wellbutrin is doing that to you? I now have copd so I quit cold turkey...almost a month for me and although I do find myself a little edgy I know I will never go back because it will just kill me faster....stay strong and stay quit...you got this!!!
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  - Rotweiler2 @ Roj on Oct 29, 2019 1:13 PM
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    Roj, thank you for sharing your experience. I will try to find a better way to quit, without drugs if possible, following all the advise I can find here. Thanks again for caring
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elvan Oct 28, 2019 8:02 PM
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I am so sorry that this has been such a nightmare for you. I would have to wonder if there are some underlying psychological issues going on. Did you prepare for your quit, educate yourself about nicotine addiction? Stay close to a support site and read blogs, post frequently, stay connected to others who are at the same place as you are? You have to commit not to smoke, no matter what, your quit has to be your number one priority, you have to guard it and protect it like the fragile infant that it is.

You CAN do this

Welcome to EX,
Ellen
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- Rotweiler2 @ elvan on Oct 29, 2019 1:10 PM
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  Elvan, you are correct: I didn't prepare properly for this quit. I didn't expect it to be SO much harder than in the past. I am back to square one, now that I have nicotine in my body again. However, I will read all I can read here and prepare better in order to be ready for my next quit, which I currently set for November 15th.
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indingrl.01.06.2011 Oct 28, 2019 10:11 PM
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WELCOME CONGRATS NICOTINE FREEDOM
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JACKIE1-25-15 Oct 28, 2019 10:16 PM
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I just wanted to add that you should come here more often for help with the coping skills while you are going through the physical and mental withdrawal of nicotine. Have you read any of the suggested material? Education is the way to be successful to quit smoking.
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constanceclum Oct 29, 2019 6:30 AM
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I hope you are still coming here to read comments. Many people, including myself, cannot take wellbutrin because of the severe anxiety it can cause. Please don't give up on quitting. Find an alternative to wellbutrin.

Connie
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Rotweiler2 Oct 29, 2019 1:25 PM
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I want to thank you all for caring and attempting to respond to a pretty impossible question, but it all helps tremendously. I will spend the next 2-3 weeks to learn about this addiction, so things don't catch me by surprise, being ready with answers/ changes in behavior. I will read Allen Carr's book "Easy Way to Stop Smoking" again, which helped a lot last time and start walking again, which put so many endorphins in me that I felt great. (Two things I didn't do this time) I had used an app "Quit smoking in 2 hours". Good stuff, BUT he said over and over again that physical withdrawal only lasts a few days and is minor. While this was true the last time, it caught me by surprise that it wasn't true this time around.
Without all of you, I'd completely given up by now and probably waited years again to quit. Your support and success stories are what keeps me working toward this goal, now. While I feel horrible right now that I failed, with all of your support and a better plan in place, I will succeed this year!

Thank you all!!
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maryfreecig Oct 29, 2019 1:36 PM
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I've been smober since late 2013. I quit with all intent of getting over smoking relatively quick, but found myself feeling distressed, angry, rage filled, reclusive, distrusting of any kind of help and wanted to get over my feelings FAST. It took me at least 18 months do begin detaching from nicotine in a healthy way--far longer than I thought it would take. Everyone is different.

I joined Ex after being quit for 2 years and 10 months. I have found that I had to heal in everyway--I was so dependent on nicotine, remembered my smoking life so clearly--that I wouldn't or couldn't fix my unhappy feelings. At first I felt no reward in quitting--thought of it as a thankless job. Yet, I worked my quit in spite of my mindset. Year by year I've found the quit that I wanted right away--I found a grounding in smobriety--cigarettes make no sense to me today.

If I had a time machine, I'd go back and tell myself that it's going to work out just fine. Likely the other me would still not have believed. That's the thing of dependency/addiction to nicotine--for most of us it takes energy and time to turn our addiction into recovery. Staying alone and getting through each day by will is an unnecessarily hard way to pull your smobriety together.

Here at Ex you have an entire quit family that is going to support you 365.

Welcome to Ex.
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elvan Oct 29, 2019 1:39 PM
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This is a journey, not an event and it has to be kept at one day at a time, sometimes, one FEELING at a time. The physical withdrawal was not bad for me but the psychological withdrawal was a bear. Once I accepted that smoking really did nothing FOR me, only TO me, it became easier. I came to this site every morning and every evening and oftentimes in between to read blogs and comments and to see what was working for others. It saved my quit...
Ellen
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Barbscloud Oct 29, 2019 2:15 PM
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Just had a thought. Are you taking the Daily Pledge each day? It really helps me keep on track for the day.
Barb
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- Rotweiler2 @ Barbscloud on Oct 29, 2019 4:17 PM
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  No, I don't know about that. Can you share the pledge w me, please?
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  - Barbscloud @ Rotweiler2 on Oct 29, 2019 5:03 PM
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    The Daily Pledge - October 2019 We all pledge not to smoke today and extend our hand to the next pledger. If nothing else, I do that everyday. It's a great way to get your day started on the right track.
    Barb
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cob321 Oct 31, 2019 1:21 PM
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Rotweiler2 - you are in good hands with this crew. I would listen carefully and follow their guidance. I'm sensing that emotional intensity is something you experience in life overall and not just during withdrawal, but the quit is making it really strong. I think one of the best pieces of advice is what Ellen says: go through it one feeling at a time.

I can say that I started a quit while also grieving the loss of a marriage and dealing with significant and intense stressors - financial, emotional, vocational and more. That advice was priceless because the feelings can get so big they consume the past, present and future like a forest fire. Reducing the experience to getting through this feeling in this moment was really helpful.

Also, set realistic expectations - you're not going to be free in a week or a month, and even if you feel a little better, your mind is going to tell you you don't. For you, like me, it's going to take longer than you want it to. BUT, it will happen if you put in the minutes, hours, days and breaths.

I personally used NRT in the form of lozenges for almost 200 days and am now just over a month off of those. It took that long to break the habit of smoking or wanting to smoke, so when I went off the NRT (which I titrated down from 4mg to 2mg to 1mg), I was craving mints not cigarettes. At first, when I gave up NRT, it was like quitting all over again - it was hard, but way easier than the impossible-for-me cold turkey. And now, the cravings still come here and there but way less frequent. And I still use the practice of one feeling at a time. In fact, I think that's probably wisdom for life.

After pickling myself with tobacco, it's taking some time to rewire my neurochemistry, physiology, emotions, attitudes, beliefs, habits and lifestyle. At 240 days since my last smoke I am well on my way, and this is a metamorphosis, so a lot is changing in my mind and body, and that takes time. I am not one who believes we just stub the butt and everything else stays the same. I think quitting is a huge life transformation physically and psychically, and that takes time, commitment, support, and some serious ups and downs. But those do level off, never seemingly soon enough, but they do.

So, heed the wisdom of your elders here who have shared with you, and if I can impart anything upon you I would say make this your mantra: "I am going to get through today, one feeling at a time, no matter what."

Better days are ahead if you stay smober. The same crap lies in front of you if you keep smoking. There's no way around this, only through...

Wishing you all the best!
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- Rotweiler2 @ cob321 on Oct 31, 2019 1:57 PM
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  Cob321 - I have nothing but the utmost respect for you! What you went through takes a lot of courage! I think and hope that my quit won't be as hard, because I don't know if I'd have your strength.
  
  I am almost 24 hours into this quit and it is going all right. Cravings are manageable with all of you and your advice and success stories and the tools I put in place and so far I was able to manage the anxiety with all the herbal supplements. I am pretty amazingly calm, right now, and hope to keep it managed without the drugs, which seemed to have made this worse, not better.
  
  I do agree that life will not go on as usual. Many things will be better, being FEE and without planing life in between the nicotine fixes. Other things will have to be worked through. Especially the ones where I distracted myself with smoking, instead of allowing myself to be still and reflect on what feeling(s) I am trying to suppress. I am not ready for that yet, but I know it will come and I have the feeling I'll need to be kind to myself to get through that.
  
  Thank you again for all your thoughts and advice; I SO appreciate your care and time
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- elvan @ cob321 on Oct 31, 2019 7:48 PM
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  cob321 Beautiful...LOOK at how far you have come!
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  - Rotweiler2 @ elvan on Oct 31, 2019 10:00 PM
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    55 hours - almost at the 72h mark and it isn’t too bad at all.
    The hardest was someone here mentioning the statistic on the success rate of a quit lasting 12 months! I won’t even repeat it, but please never share that! It is utterly demoralizing. It took all my strength to not give up and light up.
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I felt horrible for 2 1/2 months physically and mentally ... help

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