I am struggling daily with quitting. The first week was easy.. I was shocked. Then I decided to f*** it and smoke. From there it’s gotten worse and worse. Im
not even sure I really do want to quit. I know I need to quit in order to keep my life sane.
Hi Carcher1 - Thank you for your honesty, sometimes it's really hard to be truthful, especially with yourself. When i decided to quit smoking, i didn't want to. Pure and simple, i didn't want to quit. I enjoyed the hell out of it, it was a solid part of my life and the last thing i wanted to do was upset the universe. That's the truth.
Then, for some reason i started thinking about my nagging morning hack, my doctor telling me that second hand smoke on my clothes was detrimental to my daughters (and others) health, plus all the BS stop smoking commercials.. oh jeez the list started getting bigger. Smoking is expensive, gotta sneak around people who don't approve, long trips with non-f'ing smokers, and etc. etc etc. It was all too much... so much easier to just smoke and mind my own business. Sound familiar? I bet it does to about 90% of the people on this site, and maybe you too. But.... i still knew that i needed to quit. For some stupid reason, i needed to make a change..... read on
Finally, logic kind of set in and i started really looking at the problems with smoking. Financial, at $8 / pack, that was a car payment, health wise i don't think anyone can argue that smoking isn't bad for you. What about the impact on my family? Well, i would find ways to sneak off and smoke so my daughter wouldn't see me, setting a good example, huh?
I found a hundred reasons to quit, and only one to keep smoking. The one was self-gratification. I decided that wasn't good enough. I turned from lifer to quitter pretty quickly after prioritizing and really thinking about smoking and putting my heart into that decision. Ultimately i decided to quit smoking for a specific reason (of the many), i made it a goal to at least try to quit smoking and do everything i could to ensure my success. I went all in with support groups, nico-gum , nico-patches, and etc. That made it a lot easier for me to change my life.
I quit for a week. It was a *****! I hated life and everyone around me, plus my back was a mess. Yay me. I happened to be wrapping up a one week trip and had the 'opportunity' to drive a fair distance by myself to pickup my dogs (post trip). I had cigarettes in the truck and i could hardly wait to see my old friend Winston with no one around to harass me. I pulled out the partial pack (i remember this very clearly) tapped out a smoke, found my lighter.. and ... ****! I had decision to make. I thought to my self, i could smoke this and blow the week, or, i could toss it and go for another week. It turns out my decision to quit was made at the end of the first week that i had already quit. Kinda like you?
It's a decision i will never regret.
Carcher1, It sounds like you know you should quit, after all, you did it for a week. Maybe you should make a list of what's important to you when it comes to smoking. Maybe a pros and cons list. My guess is, if you approach this with your best interests, you'll be saying "f*** it, i'll quit for another week!!"
I'm not going to say how long i've been a non-smoker, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you make the decision for yourself, then quit and fight your way through the first couple weeks. Don't worry about quitting for 6 months or 5 years, just quit for today, and repeat.
I'm guessing you could find a number of reasons to quit. Why don't you think about it a bit, and share those reasons if you feel up to it. We're all here for you...