I Promised Dad

[Ralph1955]

  On July 15, 2018, my dads birthday, I quit smoking as a gift to him.  As you know dad passed away on September 10th of this year.  The hurt, sadness and grief brought back the nico-demon trying to get me to smoke again.  The pull to give in was so strong and I knew if I took one cigarette not only would I have to admit my weakness, but I would have betrayed my pop.  For years he begged me to quit and to continue to honor him I stuck to my quit; the demon did not win.

  Past urges were Nothing like this one.  Losing dad, still so fresh, tears me apart and tears have yet to subside but I knew I had to be strong and continue on my quit journey.  Dad would expect that from me.  Many here, especially our new friends, feel the urge to smoke is stronger than they are and some give in.  Believe me, I know that urge and have failed myself many times.  No urge can be stronger than pain and sadness.  I guess my point is you Are stronger than your urge and you Can continue on your quit journey.  Nothing can be more painful than the loss of a parent and it's a feeling that pulls at your heart.  I stood in front of a cigarette counter a few times since this loss and I did not give in.  Coming here to express my grief among so many wonderful friends has helped me go on.  I urge Everyone who has recently quit and those who are in pain, to return to this place and Together we can lean on one another and keep our quit forever.

  Love you all and thank you for being You.

Ralph

[JACKIE1-25-15]

No urge can be stronger than pain and sadness.  I guess my point is you Are stronger than your urge and you Can continue on your quit journey.  

So true.  We are stronger than a bunch of dried up leaves dipped in poison and rolled up in the pretty white paper.As Sootie would say Stay Strong.

[constanceclum]

I am so happy your dad got to see you as a nonsmoker! My dad wanted nothing more than to see me quit, but he died 3 yrs. ago. I quit this yr. on July 29, and I have thought of him often. Also my mom who died at 58 from copd. I know that they would be so proud of me as would your dad and, sometimes, that's enough to keep us going.

Connie

[RachelMB]

Very well said my friend! xoxoxo

Rachel

[YoungAtHeart]

Sending you a hug and a big congratulations on not using your Dad's passing as an excuse to smoke ---- and remember that IS all it is! Once you finish that cigarette, you will long for that hit of dopamine, and will start feeling the grief again, and try to ease it with another hit, and then another - ad infinitum!

I just know how proud of you he is!

Nancy

[Barbscloud]

I'm proud, your dad was proud, and you should be proud.  My parents never knew me as a non-smoker.  What a wonderful gift you gave to those who love you and probably  worried about you for many years.  We have to go through many things during our early quits.  This is one of the hardest and you got through to the other side.  You can face everything now as a non-smoker.   Don't know if you realize it, but you're inspiring others, including myself, that we can cope with life without smoking.  

Barb

[Ralph1955]

Luv ya Barb

[sweetplt]

Hi Ralph...I again, am so sorry about the loss of your dad...but I am so proud of you for not smoking.  Thank you for sharing your strength during this time...I just know your dad is looking down at you...and smiling proud at you....~ Colleen 293 DOF 

[avian3]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. How wonderful that he got to see you quit. I always wished that my dad had seen me quit. He always told me he hoped I would. I didn't until 8 years after he died.

He did know what it was like to smoke and quit. I'm not sure if it was easier for him, he was stubborn or he was desperate for $25. He smoked 14 years and when a friend in the Army Air Corp bet him $25 he couldn't quit, my dad won. He never smoked again.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

My condolences Ralph.

Congratulations on your quit and the strength of your promise.

I'm dreading that sad day myself.