On July 15, 2018, my dads birthday, I quit smoking as a gift to him. As you know dad passed away on September 10th of this year. The hurt, sadness and grief brought back the nico-demon trying to get me to smoke again. The pull to give in was so strong and I knew if I took one cigarette not only would I have to admit my weakness, but I would have betrayed my pop. For years he begged me to quit and to continue to honor him I stuck to my quit; the demon did not win.
Past urges were Nothing like this one. Losing dad, still so fresh, tears me apart and tears have yet to subside but I knew I had to be strong and continue on my quit journey. Dad would expect that from me. Many here, especially our new friends, feel the urge to smoke is stronger than they are and some give in. Believe me, I know that urge and have failed myself many times. No urge can be stronger than pain and sadness. I guess my point is you Are stronger than your urge and you Can continue on your quit journey. Nothing can be more painful than the loss of a parent and it's a feeling that pulls at your heart. I stood in front of a cigarette counter a few times since this loss and I did not give in. Coming here to express my grief among so many wonderful friends has helped me go on. I urge Everyone who has recently quit and those who are in pain, to return to this place and Together we can lean on one another and keep our quit forever.
Love you all and thank you for being You.