Poem: I slipped up. Now do i start over?

Discussion created by Noahchappy2 on Sep 14, 2019
Latest reply on Oct 1, 2019 by maryfreecig

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Hello um,

I'm noah.

im no-one,

no-one you know

so her we go um..

Heres a poem.

Last Friday, i quit.

Yesterday i slipped,

what i did, I hit it.

****. Noah you idiot.

Im thinkin i should forget it.

Give in to the craving of vaping i cant even escape it.

Every tobacco city sign

makes me quake

when it displays

“Mods

Juices!

Vapes!”

What I'm tryna say is,

is it too late to save it?

or did i frick it up

by one little mistake?

The longer i sit here alone,

the more i feel ashamed.

Is all my progress to quitting gone?

Can I pretend that it didn’t happen?

Can you pretend you like this rappin’?

Its difficult not cussin

peer pressure of my cousins,

smokin cigs every other ******

second is so dispiriting and disruptive.

To my process

of quitting this habit

its so obnoxious

its hard and exhaustive

Fighting off this,

constant want.

These cravings.

Its haunting gosh!

This vaping

The taking, of lives

The THC interlacings

3 years of vaping,

and i cant breathe

I feel my lungs caving

On my grave it will say

“He succumbed to this enslaving

the legal evil thing that we call vaping

killed him” on the engraving.

This evil fiend

nicotine

Lets talk about nicotine

why are you so flipping mean?

Left me typing this poem pacing,

Full bodily shaking, dizzy, wobbly,

driven insane with cravings.

With my blitzing heart racing.

Emptied out my savings

just to feel the amazing, grazing, of a buzz.

A great sensation so embracing

i cant even think of a way

to put it into phrasing.

Either way, there's no debating.

This nicotine will be defeated.

This one hit was just one set-back. so when i get back,

you'd better believe that i beat it.

This one juul hit wont be the one to destroy my improvements.

I just need someone to telling me i can actually do it.

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constanceclum Sep 14, 2019 5:36 PM

You can do it, and you are very talented! Never stop trying. No one here has some kind of magic that you don't. If any one of us can quit, so can you!

Connie

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Youngatheart.7.4.12 Sep 14, 2019 5:44 PM

Welcome to our community!

Loved the free verse! To answer your questions: Yes, you can do it! Some of us here smoked for 30-40 years, considered it our best friend and we broke free from the addiction - you can, too! Yes - you are back to Day One.....if there is no consequence to failing, what is to stop you from allowing it to happen again, and again? When you learn some more about the addiction and learn what happens to your brain sensors when you vape, you will understand why this addiction is so difficult and why even a few puffs reawaken them. If you still had vaping supplies when you quit, you need to get rid of them ALL before you start in again. Keeping any around is giving yourself permission to fail.

Nicotine addiction is nicotine addiction - no matter the delivery device - and how to beat any of them is about the same. Every time you read :"cigarette" in the information I will give you, just sub "Juul" or “vape,” or “device.” The one thing different I would recommend is that you first start to reduce the nicotine content of the pods. Start with a lesser amount in, like, one in every four, then three, etc. until you are only using the smallest amount, or reduce the amount of nicotine in the pods over time That way the physical withdrawal should be more manageable. You might find useful information, as well, here: https://truthinitiative.org/research-resources/quitting-smoking-vaping/quitting-e-cigarettes.

I recommend that you educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind To that end, I suggest Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” . Vaping was not a concern when this was written, so you will need to sub “vape”as necessary. This is an easy and entertaining read which can be found online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them.. For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum. For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time.

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each device use, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each use off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a puff just because you think you do

The idea is to change up your routines so the vaping associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from where you vaped. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first puff with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to vape so the view is different. Take a different route when you are out and about so you aren't driving by your vaping supply shop. Take a quick walk at break time instead of vaping.

You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that vaping thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of vape if you need some fresh ideas:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want to vape" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way! You CAN do this - let us help!

Nancy

1 person found this helpful

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Giulia

Sep 14, 2019 6:04 PM

OK, and so you blew it

But you know that you can do it

That silly puff of JUUL

Just played you for a fool

So get back on that horse

Keep following the course

Reset that quitty date

Before it gets too late

Gotta be brave

Say no to the crave

Cause every time you cave

You get closer to your grave

Repeat after me

Education is the key

No need to be a clown

Don't let it get you down

Just stay true

To that very best of you

And then you will be free

To stride the world with glee

Come on Noah. We're rootin' for ya!

5 people found this helpful

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sweetplt Sep 14, 2019 6:10 PM

Hello and Welcome to Ex’s...Noahchappy2

You have received some great advice from Youngatheart.7.4.12 ... start over and do the work...be prepared, knowledgeable and know it takes hard work...You can do this...keep close to the support site...we are all in this journey together...~ Colleen 285 DOF

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Marilyn.H.July.14.14. Sep 14, 2019 8:09 PM

You've got this quit firmly in your grasp deep breaths and know that we're all here to help you in any way we can BUT you must believe it because you can and will be successful one precious Smokefree Day at a time or hour minute or even a second at a time, it starts with Day ONE which will turn into DAY WON with many more to come you can do this quit believe it.......Noahchappy2

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elvan Sep 14, 2019 11:52 PM

Of COURSE you can do this and don't let the addiction sing you love songs...or don't LISTEN. One day at a time and when it is too long, make it an hour or a minute...

Welcome to EX,

Ellen

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Barbscloud Sep 15, 2019 8:05 AM

Welcome. Of course you should start over. Don't wait too long, it only makes it harder. Did you educate yourself about nicotine and create a quit plan before you attempted to quit? I makes such a difference to understand this addiction and to be prepared. I've never vaped but I'm starting to understand how difficult it must be to quit when you can vape anywhere. We're here for you so just reach out.

Love the "rappin"

Barb

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PrimeNumberJD Sep 15, 2019 3:05 PM

You can do it!

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CompulsivePsychologist Sep 30, 2019 10:38 PM

Awesome Noah! Looking forward to the 6-months-quit EP! Relapse is a part of recovery and your poem spun that old cliché into a very real thing.

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Noahchappy2 @ CompulsivePsychologist on Oct 1, 2019 9:13 AM

That made me feel so good! Thank you so much!

On Tue, Oct 1, 2019 at 7:38 AM compulsivepsychologist <

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GyorgyiM Oct 1, 2019 8:08 AM

Miles of Smiles...

Gyorgyi

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Noahchappy2 @ GyorgyiM on Oct 1, 2019 9:13 AM

On Tue, Oct 1, 2019 at 7:09 AM GyorgyiM <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>

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Mark

@ Noahchappy2 on Oct 1, 2019 9:28 AM

Noahchappy2 wrote:

Awesome poem and welcome! This message above seems to be blank... what did we miss?

Mark
EX Community Manager

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Mike.n.Atlanta Oct 1, 2019 10:18 AM

Welcome Noah. So now you just make a sincere commitment & stick to it. Today you do what's necessary to maintain your quit & tomorrow, you do it again. Pretty simple really. You don't have to smoke. It really is a choice.

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maryfreecig Oct 1, 2019 10:22 AM

If you cared to write all that, then I'd say you already know you want to stick to your quit goal.

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16 Replies

constanceclum Sep 14, 2019 5:36 PM
You can do it, and you are very talented! Never stop trying. No one here has some kind of magic that you don't. If any one of us can quit, so can you!

Connie
Like • Show 0 Likes0
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Youngatheart.7.4.12 Sep 14, 2019 5:44 PM
Welcome to our community!

Loved the free verse! To answer your questions: Yes, you can do it! Some of us here smoked for 30-40 years, considered it our best friend and we broke free from the addiction - you can, too! Yes - you are back to Day One.....if there is no consequence to failing, what is to stop you from allowing it to happen again, and again? When you learn some more about the addiction and learn what happens to your brain sensors when you vape, you will understand why this addiction is so difficult and why even a few puffs reawaken them. If you still had vaping supplies when you quit, you need to get rid of them ALL before you start in again. Keeping any around is giving yourself permission to fail.
Nicotine addiction is nicotine addiction - no matter the delivery device - and how to beat any of them is about the same. Every time you read :"cigarette" in the information I will give you, just sub "Juul" or “vape,” or “device.” The one thing different I would recommend is that you first start to reduce the nicotine content of the pods. Start with a lesser amount in, like, one in every four, then three, etc. until you are only using the smallest amount, or reduce the amount of nicotine in the pods over time That way the physical withdrawal should be more manageable. You might find useful information, as well, here: https://truthinitiative.org/research-resources/quitting-smoking-vaping/quitting-e-cigarettes.

I recommend that you educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind To that end, I suggest Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” . Vaping was not a concern when this was written, so you will need to sub “vape”as necessary. This is an easy and entertaining read which can be found online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them.. For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum. For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time.

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each device use, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each use off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a puff just because you think you do

The idea is to change up your routines so the vaping associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from where you vaped. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first puff with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to vape so the view is different. Take a different route when you are out and about so you aren't driving by your vaping supply shop. Take a quick walk at break time instead of vaping.

You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that vaping thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of vape if you need some fresh ideas:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want to vape" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way! You CAN do this - let us help!

Nancy
1 person found this helpful
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Giulia Sep 14, 2019 6:04 PM
OK, and so you blew it
But you know that you can do it
That silly puff of JUUL
Just played you for a fool

So get back on that horse
Keep following the course
Reset that quitty date
Before it gets too late

Gotta be brave
Say no to the crave
Cause every time you cave
You get closer to your grave

Repeat after me
Education is the key
No need to be a clown
Don't let it get you down

Just stay true
To that very best of you
And then you will be free
To stride the world with glee

Come on Noah. We're rootin' for ya!
5 people found this helpful
Like • Show 7 Likes7
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sweetplt Sep 14, 2019 6:10 PM
Hello and Welcome to Ex’s...Noahchappy2

You have received some great advice from Youngatheart.7.4.12 ... start over and do the work...be prepared, knowledgeable and know it takes hard work...You can do this...keep close to the support site...we are all in this journey together...~ Colleen 285 DOF
Like • Show 2 Likes2
Actions
Marilyn.H.July.14.14. Sep 14, 2019 8:09 PM
You've got this quit firmly in your grasp deep breaths and know that we're all here to help you in any way we can BUT you must believe it because you can and will be successful one precious Smokefree Day at a time or hour minute or even a second at a time, it starts with Day ONE which will turn into DAY WON with many more to come you can do this quit believe it.......Noahchappy2
Like • Show 2 Likes2
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JACKIE1-25-15 Sep 14, 2019 9:02 PM
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elvan Sep 14, 2019 11:52 PM
Of COURSE you can do this and don't let the addiction sing you love songs...or don't LISTEN. One day at a time and when it is too long, make it an hour or a minute...

Welcome to EX,
Ellen
Like • Show 2 Likes2
Actions
Barbscloud Sep 15, 2019 8:05 AM
Welcome. Of course you should start over. Don't wait too long, it only makes it harder. Did you educate yourself about nicotine and create a quit plan before you attempted to quit? I makes such a difference to understand this addiction and to be prepared. I've never vaped but I'm starting to understand how difficult it must be to quit when you can vape anywhere. We're here for you so just reach out.
Love the "rappin"
Barb
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PrimeNumberJD Sep 15, 2019 3:05 PM
You can do it!
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CompulsivePsychologist Sep 30, 2019 10:38 PM
Awesome Noah! Looking forward to the 6-months-quit EP! Relapse is a part of recovery and your poem spun that old cliché into a very real thing.
Like • Show 1 Like1
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- Noahchappy2 @ CompulsivePsychologist on Oct 1, 2019 9:13 AM
  That made me feel so good! Thank you so much!
  
  On Tue, Oct 1, 2019 at 7:38 AM compulsivepsychologist <
  Like • Show 0 Likes0
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GyorgyiM Oct 1, 2019 8:08 AM

Miles of Smiles...
Gyorgyi
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- Noahchappy2 @ GyorgyiM on Oct 1, 2019 9:13 AM
  
  On Tue, Oct 1, 2019 at 7:09 AM GyorgyiM <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>
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  - Mark @ Noahchappy2 on Oct 1, 2019 9:28 AM
    Noahchappy2 wrote:
    
    Awesome poem and welcome! This message above seems to be blank... what did we miss?
    
    Mark
    EX Community Manager
    Like • Show 0 Likes0
    Actions
Mike.n.Atlanta Oct 1, 2019 10:18 AM
Welcome Noah. So now you just make a sincere commitment & stick to it. Today you do what's necessary to maintain your quit & tomorrow, you do it again. Pretty simple really. You don't have to smoke. It really is a choice.
Like • Show 0 Likes0
Actions
maryfreecig Oct 1, 2019 10:22 AM
If you cared to write all that, then I'd say you already know you want to stick to your quit goal.
Like • Show 0 Likes0
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Poem: I slipped up. Now do i start over?

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