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Give and get support around quitting

butterfly77ks
Member

I am just so angry with myself

 I can only quit smoking 3 months at a time I have quit half a dozen times this time I only quit two weeks and have the support of my fourteen-year-old daughter and my four-year-old grandson I am just don't know what to do wh

I need help I only quit for 2 weeks and have great support from my fourteen-year-old daughter and my four-year-old grandson this is the sixth time I've tried to quit and I just keep going back to it so sick and tired of it what can I do? I make a plan I write great things in my journal I feel so empowered and then somehow I slip and I fall right back into it horrible I just don't know how to do it and stay quit

24 Replies
Beck37
Member

Let’s face it, it’s so much easier to just give up and go back to what you know best. Chances are you’ve been smoking your entire adult life. Maybe you need to go into this with a different frame of mind. I smoked for 37 years. I knew quitting was going to be rough. I chose my day and as I was smoking that very last cigarette I acknowledged that it was my very last one. I made the commitment to myself at that moment that I had quit. I was not going to let myself down. I knew there were going to be craves and crazies and all kinds of first ofs for who knows how long but I knew I probably would survive.  

What message are you sending to your 14 year old daughter and 4 year old grandson? They are going to face so many challenges in their life? They need someone strong to help guide them.... Are you teaching them that when things get tough just give in?

You need to be all in. No looking back. Stop acting like you are giving up something. It’s not oxygen, it’s not chocolate, it’s nasty, stinky, expensive cigarettes. Does smoking make you proud? Is it a habit you want to pass on to your loved ones? Just decide you are done and then just do it. Shear determination and stubbornness is what it’s going to take. Stay out of your head. Make yourself and the kids that love you proud. Be the example!

Beck

butterfly77ks
Member

Thank you very much for your response. Smoking is all I know have been smoking my entire adult life. I know it does nothing for me and I want to be strong for my kids and grands. I am determined to make a plan and let nothing (my mind) or anything stop me from where I want to be. Smoke free!!! Thank you again

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

indingrl
Member

CONGRATS 2 weeks WAY TO GO!!!!

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Part of it is the complacency, that you have got it. You become lax.  At the 3 month period is a time to really be on your guard. https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/message/68188-my-welcome-to-new-members-12-years-of-watching?sr=s... This blog will better understand it. It is from one of the Elders. Pay attention.   The idea is to never give up.  A lot of us here had failure until we had a support network like the EX.  Please hang around and learn so you can get past those 90-day timeframes. It is doable. 

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

Einstein said that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.  Let's do it differently THIS time!  Education, planning, preparation, support and commitment are all required for success.  We can help with all but the last.  You will be better prepared for the challenges if you work on the first three before your  next quit date.

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.


 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for four reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion,  3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire and 4) you can become addicted to that and it has not yet been proven safe .
 

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

aboyd63
Member

Thank you for your comment.   It was very informative and helpful.  I plan to take your advice and continue reading your suggestions.  I feel I'm still a newbie and will take suggestions from anyone

 I want all the help I can get . Thank you again

Barbara145
Member

I lost my only previous quit at 3 months.  When I came here I learned from Dale about NML (No Man's Land.)  You have to give it 4 months.  For most it gets a lot better after that time.  I promised myself I would not smoke.  No matter what I wanted, no matter what I was feeling, a cigarette would not be the answer.  I honored that promise to myself.  You can too.  You can do it.

Giulia
Member

I blew two quits at the three-month mark.  For me it was a very dangerous time UNTIL I became educated about this addiction and connected to a support group.  At three months I thought I was kind of safe, but I kind of (no not kind of, REALLY wanted a cigarette, still).  And I thought I could just smoke one or two, or become a "casual" smoker.  You know, smoke only at parties, or on special occasions or....  Nope.  No can do.  With this last quit (13 years ago now), I learned that I can't have "just one."  THE EX ONE PUFF FILES‌ That has become stunningly clear in my head.  I also learned that cravings can pop up out of nowhere.  Some are obvious triggers, but some seem to come out of the clear blue sky.  The answer to them always has to be NOPE (Not One Puff Ever).  My particular mantra is NADO (Never another Day One.)  The build-up is often worse than the Day One experience itself.  But I know I won't go back there.  Because I have reached that glorious point in a quit where it's easier NOT to put a cigarette in my mouth than to go back to another Day One.  My quit has become my rock.  Not the one that sinks me through failure after failure, but the one that I can cling to that NOBODY can take away from me.  I am in control of it.  For a change.  I just needed to learn how.  You can too.  It's all about support and education.  We will give you the support and the knowledge you need.   You need to do your homework.  You will then know what to do.  Really.  READ.

aboyd63
Member

Wow you just got my full attention  to stay quit is Nope. and read and ask for support  and plenty more I'm sure. But I can do the first 3 things. Thank you for what you said in your comment