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Give and get support around quitting

DevviM
Member

Relapsed...

I decided to quit smoking 5 years ago and I did as far as cigarettes. What I did to help with cigarettes was taking up vaping and so for the past 5 years, I have been a heavy “vaper”. 2 days ago I threw my e-cigarette away saying enough is enough and went two days cold turkey. I started my smoke free journal, tried getting my support group to help me through it and joined this group. I was doing great and then I relapsed today...

My uncle died tragically two years ago today and i am having a hard time coping with it. I was fighting and fighting the urge to go to the gas station and pick up a cheap e-cigarette; I made it halfway through the day but ended up getting one. It’s no excuse and I know better but I wasn’t strong enough to fight that urge. I was two and a half days completely nicotine free and on top of the sadness I feel today I now have the guilt of not being strong enough to fight my smoking urge. 

I am sorry to unload this on anyone who reads this and I feel guilty as well as terrible... Today shouldn’t be about my inability to not smoke an e-cigarette but should be about celebrating my uncles life. 

Maybe I should have planned my quit time better... 

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7 Replies
indingrl
Member

Welcome and no worries blogs HELP all of us to REMEMBER we are just a puff away and to HELP to pass on MY HOPE that was given to ME freely - journaling HELPS with grieving and there are SUPPORT groups called grief support - some churches hold support groups - please read read read blogs here for EDUCATION is the key - also videos to watch at whyquit.com - HELPED ME come out of MY denial-  blog everyday - it HELPS in learning NEW WAYS - NEW ideas - getting a NEW MINDSET - gentle hug

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Well, I would call this a trial run.  I am sorry that you had difficulty on the 2 1/2 year anniversary of your uncle's tragic death.  We have to come to grips that life happens and smoking is not going to fix anything that it is just a fix and we will use any EXcuse to smoke to feed the addiction. Think about it, What would a nonsmoker do.  You will have to take smoking off the table and do something else. 

Maybe I should have planned my quit time better... 

Good answer starts here My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX 

The law of addiction"Administration of a drug to an addict will cause
re-establishment of chemical dependence
upon the addictive substance."

You have come to the right place for support. /blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke?sr=search&searchId=9a15...

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

Nicotine addiction is nicotine addiction - no matter the delivery device - and how to beat any of them is about the same. Every time you read :"cigarette" in the information I will give you, just sub "vape."   The one thing different I would recommend is that you first start to reduce the nicotine content of the pods.  Start with a lesser amount in, like, one in every four, then three, etc. until you are only using the smallest amount, or reduce the nicotine content of the pods over time. That way the physical withdrawal should be more manageable .You should be VERY careful in using a cheap device.  Some have been linked to very bad lung issues and the batteries exploding.   You might find useful information, as well, here: https://truthinitiative.org/research-resources/quitting-smoking-vaping/quitting-e-cigarettes.

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.


 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time.

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

Daniela2016
Member

Unloading is what this group is for; it would have been much better if you'd done yesterday, before you went to the gas station.  But someone said "there are no failures, just opportunities to learn". 

Take what happened yesterday as such, and use it as the basis to build your new, forever quit. 

Please be good to yourself, read what's been shared here, learn, pick another day to quit, get prepared for that day and start all over. 

I don't think there is one quitter here who succeeded at quitting on the first attempt!

Welcome to the site, had it not been for it, I don't think I'd be today a quitter with more than 3 years of freedom.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. - Winston Churchill

elvan
Member

First of all, I am really sorry for the loss of your uncle.  You must have been very close to be this sadly affected after two years.  I am sure it is hard and there is no time limit on grieving.  I think you should plan a celebration of his life on the next anniversary, either by yourself or with others.  Vaping doesn't help any more than smoking would, it just stuffs your feelings down and they will come out sooner or later, one way or the other.

It would be best to get back to your quit as soon as possible.

Hugs,

Ellen

Barbscloud
Member

Welcome to the Ex.   We've all been there, so there's no need to feel quilty.  You're right about that--education and preparation are the key to success.  Pick a quit date and spend the time by educating yourself about this addiction  Read everything you can on site.   The support here can make all the difference--it did for me.   Reach out if you need help.  We're here for you.

Barb

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maryfreecig
Member

You can get beyond nicotine dependence one day at a time. Stick with your goal to quit--you had that goal for a darn good reason. Let Ex help--because we will be here 365.

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