The ability to remain calm and focused in stressful situations is central to making positive decisions.
Goldie Hawn - American Actress
I have been taking a class in Dialectic Behavioral Therapy. DBT is a cognitive behavioral therapy based on balancing how much I accept my problems vs. changing the problem. It's important to reduce avoidance and try other ways of coping. Here is an appropriate example:
D - describe the facts of the case
I have a very strong craving for a Sickerette
I am uncomfortable and triggered by a confrontation with my boss over dbt class
I am flooded with compelling emotion to go to whatever lengths to get and smoke a Sickerette
E - express your feelings
I am very angry, irritated, fearful about my boss and my job
I feel as though I need a Sickerette so that I don't yell at my boss, walk out on my job, or otherwise, get fired
A - assert
Ask my boss for what I feel that I need for my job or say no to a request that I find unreasonable
Tell myself that the short term relief of a Sickerette will only lead to long term misery
Let my addiction know that I acknowledge it and there is a difference between need and want - I don't need a Sickerette - I need to not smoke even more
R - reinforce
Tell my boss what I like about my job and how dbt class would make me even more effective in my opinion
Acknowledge to myself that the craving makes me uncomfortable and limits my ability to focus at this time
M - mindful
Stay present and active listening to boss' response while keeping my request in the fore-front
Be in the room - do a body scan if necessary to remind me where I am and what I am doing now
A - appear confident
Control my body language to be effective and competent not angry or defensive - smile, make eye contact, keep open hands, good tone of voice, express certainty
N - negotiate
Be willing to give to get with my boss. "I will need to go to dbt class during working hours because I am learning
skills that will make my absences overall fewer," "I will have fewer absences because my breathing will improve and
I will have fewer panic attacks"
I know I can make it through this without a Sickerette and will feel victorious even if my boss doesn't agree with me
about dbt class
Maybe somebody else could benefit from this skill. Here I am using it simultaneously with my boss and with my addictive self. It is used to improve interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships, i.e., with myself.
