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Give and get support around quitting

Maddiemoo
Member

Quitting and emotional struggles

Hi, I'm new here. I've been smoking on and off for about 20 yrs, more on than off. I set my quit date and I'm preparing. I quit cold turkey for 5 days, two weeks ago, and then started again. Dang. I'm curious how you deal with the emotional issues that come up when you quit, the reasons we smoke. I "self medicate" with smoking. I have a good deal of emotional turmoil in my life that I stuffed by smoking.  The cost is too high and frankly I'm tired of stuffing my problems with a toxic substance that is harming me. If you quit while dealing with excessive stressors; how did you do it? Thanks for any input.

5 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

Part of this quit journey IS learning to deal with the emotions you hid from behind that cloud when you smoked.  You will need to learn NEW strategies.  Ones to try include any form of brisk exercise  - even marching in place or a set of stairs will do - slow, deep breathing, going slower and deeper with each - counting backwards from 1,000 - thinking of boys'/girls' names for each letter of the alphabet - calling a friend to vent - coming here to blog and vent - punching a pillow into submission - yelling into a pillow until you are spent - tears - spending some time outdoors, looking at the clouds or listening for bird song.   Think about how people who have never smoked deal with it all; if you know any, ask them.  Keep in mind that all you did by smoking was take a break from your emotions - the situation/person/problem was STILL there when you put it out.  You can still take that break - but smoking is not required.

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.


 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for four reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion,  3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire and 4) you can become addicted to that and it has not yet been proven safe .
 

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

Maddiemoo
Member

Thanks for all the info and encouragement!  I read that book, and stupidly donated it a couple weeks ago. I'll have to get another copy. Almost everyone I know doesn't smoke, in fact many people don't know that I smoke. I'll get to reading and distracting thru the rough spots then I'll need to deal with the underlying problems. Yikes. Again, thank you

0 Kudos
maryfreecig
Member

      Well, going it alone can make the stressors seem titanic sized. If you are your only friend on the issue of quitting--then there is the risk of going around in circles inside your own head. Support is good in a quit--though you will be doing the real work of quitting. Don't we all need to bounce stuff off others--just a little. Get things out that are bugging us? When you quit, it's usually (not always) stressful. 

     Support helps with the unevenness of quitting. And quitting must be and is a one day at a time effort anyway. There is no smobering up in advance. You can't do next weeks work today--all in good time. 

indingrl
Member

Welcome and SUGGESTED to ME in MY early recovery was to - SELF education - it is the key - reading EXteam info offered here- read and read and read while taking what HELPS and choosing your OWN NON SMOKER life style - it takes time for YOU to choose YOUR NEW MINDSET and self boundaries and issues INSIDE may or may NOT lead YOU to get a professional therapist to HELP with some very private emotional damages issues - blog BEFORE you take that first puff over YOU- learn to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER - one day at a time -  just sharing please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - gentle hug

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Welcome.  Many of us have been in your position. Once you educate yourself about the addiction you will better understand the smoking is what causes stress.  When something happens you have to deal with having to get a fix.  Nicotine is a drug and should be treated as such.  Relearning your behavior and thinking is the beginning of a new life without cigarettes. Of course, this takes time, it does not happen overnight.  To start you have to make the commitment that you will not smoke no matter what is happening in your life.  I would question myself: what would a nonsmoker do in the circumstance?.  Take smoking as an option off the table. Do something else /blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke?sr=search&searchId=f44b...  No, it is not easy but it can be done. We have to learn to laugh, cry, scream and live without smoke.  It is doable if you are willing to do whatever it takes no matter what is happening. Again Welcome.