6 Months and I'm Just Now Craving Badly. Danger!

[Throwbvibe]

Hi 

I'm a newbie.  I quit on Feb 5 cold Turkey after 19 years of smoking an average of half a pack a day.  This was honestly a pretty pain free quit.  I think being in a different city with family helped.  I also started on a low dosage antidepressant for my anxiety/ depression issues.  Its helped.  What also helped my quit was this bout of hypochondria I had right around my quit.  I've worked through that in the past few months.

My surroundings haven't changed but these past 2 weeks i've had serious craves! I'm also getting very depressed about the idea of never smoking.  The thought of everything i used to enjoy feels boring and meaningless without it. I used to love playing poker; having a drink with friends; playing pool etc.  When I return to my hometown I cant picture doing any of those things without smoking. The thought of it depresses me and makes me anxious . I've began to rationalize a few cigs pr returning to Hookahs which I smoked when I quit cigs fot a few years.  The scary part is I'm even rationalizing just becoming a life long smoker - "we gotta die somehow!"  Yeah I'm at that level of denial. 

Please help. This feels like torture. I'm 6 months in and I now feel like its day 2!

[AnnetteMM]

Hello and welcome! You may be new to us, but you are no Newbie! In fact, at 6 months nicotine free you are officially in No Man's Land, and everything you're feeling is absolutely normal. READ:https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-days-30-to130-appr... 

[Throwbvibe]

Thank you.  Can no mans land kick in later? I'm beyond 130 days.

[AnnetteMM]

It's a state of mind and those days are just a guideline. If the description resonates with you, you're there.

[Barbara145]

Don't do it!  I did that several years ago.  I was thinking I wanted my old self back.  I began smoking again and smoked for about 11 more years.  I now have severe emphysema.  Quit while you are ahead.  I promise you it will pass.  The new you ends up being a much better version of yourself.  Hang in there.  You have done a beautiful job.

[Throwbvibe]

I'm so sorry to hear that.   That's a fear of mine - having a few then smoking for years.  I quit in 2012 and resorted to smoking hookahs socially maybr 2x a week.  Although not ideal, at least I was off cigs.  I had just one in 2015 after a rough night and ended up at half a pack for 4 years.

[SimplySheri]

I made a poster for my son that says "Don't believe everything you think".  Sometimes his depression speaks LOUDLY and he forgets that our brains don't always say things that are true.  So when you start rationalizing smoking, say out loud "I don't do that anymore!"  Be as proud of your quit now as you were at the beginning!

Take good care of yourself as well.  We tend to weaken when we are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (H.A.L.T.).  Have you rewarded yourself in anyway since you've quit?  You need to!!  Even if it's just going out to dinner, buying a book you really want to read, or even taking a trip someplace fun!!  You deserve good things and it's up to you to get them

Keep breathing as you remember that you are an ex-smoker and can live without them.  I, for one, am impressed with the way you took to your quit!!  Good job!!!

[Throwbvibe]

I think I replied privately to some posts by mistake. 

Thank u for the comments.  It took a while for this thread to approve and post but I didn't smoke.  I'm still mentally struggling. I just didn't expect to be here at 6 mos.  It's quit discouraging as I can't imagine feeling like this forever.  I'll remain hopeful it'll pass.  Someone mentioned treating myself.  I think I'll try that.   I've done a few things but it's been while.   

[indingrl]

Welcome thanks for shating - CONGRATS YOUR NEW NON SMOKER LIFE STYLE  and YOU are NOT ALONE - MY victim child ADDICT thinking has to GO - YOU MY BELOVED RECOVERING from NICOTINE family member get to UNLEARN YOUR old FEELING thinking and learn to choose - YOUR OWN NEW mindset - ideas -  NEW mindset to use - SUGGESTIONS offered from others and YOUR OWN CHOICES - to live ONE day at a time - to CHOOSE of YOUR own free will - what works best for YOU to COPE with YOUR insides issues - how not to let your feelings run YOU -  to use YOUR DRUG NICOTINE - YOUR old life of using those death sticks to COPE - as a excuse and as a solution to an over load of FFFEEELLLINGS or YOUR reactions on how to handle YOUR -  life on lifes terms that hits YOU smack in the face - suddenly - life HAPPENS to EVERYONE - with a tragedy or joy filled news or a lousy day or a frustration YOUR feeling cuz YOU didn't get YOUR way or your car won't start or there is news of a death in the family - I was 3 months clean from NICOTINE- I was blessed with a cold turkey quit too and at 3 months clean I got news MY brother in love was killed by drunk driver - the drunks 2nd or 3rd DUI - MY sister asked ME to speak at funeral and it was 1st time traveling out of state without using death sticks to drive - I came here told them - told on my hurricane tornado storms of MY immature emotions HITTING HARD and I am ready to run to NICOTINE to cope with MY life and then I prayed the Serenity Prayer and then - I remembered -  I am a NON SMOKER TODAY and I came here and asked for HELP and they taught ME how to drive out of state without using my DRUG NICOTINE - they told ME to blog when I could and I did and that's how it is done for MY NON SMOKER LIFE STYLE - I blog and I ask blog and I blog to tell on MY stinking vicitim child thinking and get a NEW MINDSET that works for ME to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF OVER ME -  no matter what and for ME in MY Lord Jesus name amen -  please I am talking about ME not anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - gentle hug   

[Throwbvibe]

Thank you very much.  That's exactly what it feels like - my feelings running my addiction.  And the fear of life without the false coping cancer sticks.  Also romanticizing my smoking days and thinking i miss that "conforted" feeling i had when lighting up.  The distraction from my problems while feeding and relieving my craves and getting that fleeting hit of feel good dopamine.  Thats the thing, especially when u suffer from anxiety or depression already.  I associate relief with cigs.

Talking and sharing does help.  Every bit does.  Prayer is something I need to return to as well.