How to I get myself to WANT to quit, when the time comes (date set for 11 days from now)?
I have the desire to quit, I have all my nicotine replacement items, I have searched high and low for tools, physical and psychological, and I feel like I have an arsenal and should feel prepared. But when that “moment” to quit comes, it’s like I panic. I feel like I’m falling off a cliff, and I can’t even get past 10 minutes without giving into it. It’s like a compulsion. When there’s no way I could be feeling physical withdrawal already, I feel like I’m losing my mind and the only way to ground myself is to smoke/give up/whatever. I see the tools that I have to help me, and it makes me feel worse. Like I’m trapped and I have to escape. I really don’t know how to else to describe the sensation.
I’ve quit several times before, each for at least a few months, but always end up back at it. So I’ve done this before, but this is the first time I’ve had this feeling trying to quit. Again, I’m very motivated, until literally that first moment of quitting, when it becomes a reality. I’m physically terrified of not having cigarettes and that makes no logical sense, but there it is.
I have an appointment to get Zyban in about a week. But I’d appreciate any input that could help me get over this first “hump”. I want to WANT to quit.