Panicking when quitting becomes reality

[BoomBoomPants]

How to I get myself to WANT to quit, when the time comes (date set for 11 days from now)?

I have the desire to quit, I have all my nicotine replacement items, I have searched high and low for tools, physical and psychological, and I feel like I have an arsenal and should feel prepared. But when that “moment” to quit comes, it’s like I panic. I feel like I’m falling off a cliff, and I can’t even get past 10 minutes without giving into it. It’s like a compulsion.  When there’s no way I could be feeling physical withdrawal already, I feel like I’m losing my mind and the only way to ground myself is to smoke/give up/whatever. I see the tools that I have to help me, and it makes me feel worse. Like I’m trapped and I have to escape. I really don’t know how to else to describe the sensation. 

I’ve quit several times before, each for at least a few months, but always end up back at it. So I’ve done this before, but this is the first time I’ve had this feeling trying to quit. Again, I’m very motivated, until literally that first moment of quitting, when it becomes a reality. I’m physically terrified of not having cigarettes and that makes no logical sense, but there it is. 

I have an appointment to get Zyban in about a week. But I’d appreciate any input that could help me get over this first “hump”. I want to WANT to quit. 

[WhispersQSMB]

You need the right mindset to be ready. Quit because you want to, don't wait until you have to. Smoking kills, the ending is bad. Ive seen it like many others have . Watch some videos like this one to get yourself motivated. The rewards are endless

[TW517]

I heard so many times throughout my years of quitting and relapsing, that “we will quit when the time is right, and when we really want to quit”.  I heard it so often, that I believed it.  So of course, I had a built-in excuse for all my failures.  It wasn’t my fault, it just wasn’t the right time for me is all.  This time, I “decided” to quit, rather than “try” to quit.  I decided that no matter how bad the craves were, no matter how long it took for them to go away, I wasn’t going to smoke.  I really did not "want" to quit at all.  I just knew I was going to quit trying, and start doing.

It’s very natural to panic about your upcoming quit.  I think most of us did.  You can go to the magnifying glass icon at the top right of your screen and search for things like “panic before quitting” and see how prevalent it is.  But you are doing everything right.  You’ve educated yourself about physical and psychological symptoms, you’ve got a tool kit, and you are reaching out to a great community for support.  Sounds to me like you’re way ahead of most people who quit.  I’ve got every confidence in you!

Welcome to EX!

[constanceclum]

I don't think there has ever been any part of me that "wanted to quit" Now I have 2 options: extend my life by quitting or die an early death. The decision is easy. I think the panic comes from fear of failure, but the only failure is not trying-1 day at a time.

Connie

[YoungAtHeart · Accepted solution]

Perhaps somehow your brain KNOWS that it is really,  finally giving up its "friend,"  the substance that was with you for every crisis, every difficult (or wonderful) emotion, for the final time.  It is natural to fear the unknown, especially if you are preparing and have made up your mind that this IS the final quit.  Perhaps before you were only "trying" and left yourself an out?

You are doing the right things to get ready.  Remember - you only have to decide to quit for the next hour, then you can quit for the next one, and the next, until you have made it a WHOLE DAY!

I don't think most of us went into this without a bit of anxiety.  You just have to decide that you are not going to smoke another cigarette NO MATTER WHAT and honor that decision every hour of every minute of every day at the beginning.  You WILL be relearning your life as an ex-smoker, but it is an eye-opening, wondrous adventure if you make it so!

Nancy

[BoomBoomPants]

Thank you for all your replies, each one was very helpful! I do think you hit the nail on the head, youngatheart.  It’s like losing a best friend. And I hate to admit it but I think I was giving myself an “out” each time I quit before. Like “Once this pregnancy is over, I can just see how it goes. Then at least I’ll only be hurting myself,” and other such nonsense. In prior attempts, I remember hoping something horrible would happen in my life, so I could start back up without anyone faulting me, or feeling guilty about failing. I think I may be having such difficulty this time because once I stop, I know I’m never picking it up again.  What an eye opener. Thank you all.  

[elvan]

I smoked tor 47 years and I still HATED smoking, I thought it gave the impression that I wasn't too bright, I was embarrassed for anyone who did not know to find out that I smoked.  This site saved my quit and I daresay that it saved ME.  I came here every morning and every evening and I read blogs, I commented, I blogged, I asked for help when I needed it and I was never let down.  My only regret about quitting is that I did not do it sooner.  This is a journey and it is a GOOD one.  We all want you to succeed, you are not doing this alone.

Welcome to EX,

Ellen

[Mandolinrain]

I totally get it. I was the same. Time after miserable time, I failed. I threw away countless full packs after smoking one. I went to bed numerous evenings claiming I would not smoke the next day only to wake up....smell the coffee...and well, you know the rest of the story.

What worked for me was reading Allan Carrs book, THE EASYWAY TO QUIT SMOKING. That was the first thing. It made sense to me. I had visited this site prior to reading that book but AFTER reading that book, the things everyone was trying to get me to understand on this site, finally fell into place. 

Vicks Vapor Rub and Vicks inhaler were also a big part of my arsenal. I had the blue bottles everywhere and honestly, I dont know why, but a little under my nose KILLED craves right away.

Get the book. Its a fast read. You can read in in a couple hours. Highlight the crap out of it and read it over and over again until it sinks in. Come here....OFTEN. While my story and ways may not match yours, I am betting someones on here will . Take what you need from all of our advice and leave the rest. You may find a little bit of ones story mixed with a little of someones else may be just what the Doctor ordered.

Make yourself a priority and journal your journey. That may result in you in pinpointing where you fail and where your strength lies. But most of all....be true to you. Get this done, you are worth the fight, okay ?

[BoomBoomPants]

Oh my, do I share some of your experiences. There are people I’ve known for 20 years that don’t know I smoke, because I’m so embarrassed.

And the description of going to bed with the greatest intentions of quitting, only to wake up and fail miserably- pretty much describes half of my mornings for the last year. 

What an incredibly kind, helpful and strong group of people you all are!  I have gotten something from every one of your response, and plan to add them to my bag of tricks.

I have a good feeling about this time.

Thank you all so very much. 

[Mandolinrain]

The more you fill your head with our suggestions and prepare before you quit, It is my belief, the more successful you will be. You can do this. We all have been where you are and we all had the same fears that it felt impossible that we could achieve this sweet freedom.....but we can and we did.

Another thing I want you to plant in your brain is this....each and every single time you inhale on a cigarette you wake up your brains receptors and you set yourself up for the next crave. When you STARVE the receptors,....and yes it takes time....they get weaker and weaker and weaker until one day, they are just....POOF/GONE.

Your going to war with them. Don't go to war unprepared. Have troops and a plan B waiting so you don't get struck by a sneak attack. Know ahead of time what your plan of action will be for each situation that you can think of that induces you to smoke.

ALWAYS come here if possible and blog before you cave.

We have your back