Stages of Grief

[renee95]

I wonder if it is only me that is greiving the loss of time I could have been free of Nicotine. All those years I wasted and worsened my health. I feel that I am going through the stages of grief. The same as a death of a loved one. The death of my brainwashed mind. Is there more than me that is experiencing this?

[carol-t]

I feel grief over all the lies I told myself about it not bothering me. Until the last 1&1/2 Yrs. I didn't feel the health effects. I wanted to quit because everyone I knew had quit. I kept thinking my husband and I are usually the only smokers in a group. Why can't we just quit. I asked him often. Finally I got around to thinking take care of yourself so you can quit worrying. I diid worry a lot. I've had a heart attack and have A-fib. I take a lot of pills . My heart Dr. I saw last week and he said you are as healthy as a horse. He didn't listen to lungs or heart. Just took heart rate. Yes my blood work is excellent. When I was told I had emphysema it was over an x-ray mistake. I got a mammogram and they thought they saw a lesion on my lung. I had an MRI and my Dr. said 'you have a tiny amount of emphysema" no lesion, he was Mormon and really against the smoke. He put me on an inhaler but we moved and have new Ins. It would cost me $75 for one inhaler. I got thru Medicare the machine and Albueterol. It did not agree with me smoking as I could not breath after. It affected me some last night as I had a hard time sleepin due to not breathing real well . I go and walk 40 Mins. fast and do not get winded. I'm not sure I should take this anymore.  I see my Dr. Dec. 4th and will go over ir. I think I'm in the wrong place for this letter. Anyway renee good thought, the grief.

[renee95]

Doesn't matter to me if this is the right place for a letter. Glad I saw it. Smiles. If your inhaler is making you feel short of breath, please go see your doctor. I does happen that people have adverse side effects. Kind of makes me worry. I know I can not take some of the inhalers on the market. All I heard you say was albueterol (rescue inhaler) normally there is some kind of steriod mixed in with the breathing treatments. ? what medication is mixed in with your nebulizer or are you talking some other kind of machine like a Cpap. Okay you take good care of you, please. 

[roxie-girl]

grief somthing we think  about when someone dies,  but we have grief because we are slow;y dy[ng  then comes the what  ifs but by the time you thinl of that there is nothing you can change cause its too late, Then there are times that we sit and cry knowing that your life has change forever 

[renee95]

Yes. Roxy that was in fact what I WaS saying. My grief for the health I will never again have. My grief for waiting this long. And my thankfulness I am free. I have lowered the amount of medications I need already and I am only a month into the quit. I know I will always have my form of copd but I feel so much better.

[fine4fifty3]

Grief is the perfect description for how I feel about the years of self-destruction that I have put myself through.  I experience an overwhelming sadness when I think of what is now happening to me because of this behavior. I have set yet another quit date and am taking a different approach to quitting this time.  I need help or I'm going to die soon.

[trudyd]

I regret smoking but I cannot dwell on the what ifs....I am a firm believer it is what it is and fortunately we are all in this quit together......I think until you are ready things do not change so instead of the what ifs and grief we should try to put it behind us as it changes nothing and tends to be a real downer and during this process we need to help each other be as upbeat as possible!!

[annb]

This subject is so timely for me. Exactly what I've been contemplating today!  I'm only 7 days quit but find I am grieving all the wasted years of health and vitality and maybe the person I really could've been/was supposed to be!  I just had a dear cousin (4 years my junior) die from advanced lung cancer. Apparently he didn't even know he had it until 2 weeks ago when he had to go to hospital. So sad!  So far, by the grace of God, go I but the damage is there (43 years worth!) and I fear going to Doc!  I was one of those "premature" babies the article talks about too. Great---  But like Trudy says, we can only go forward now. Thx for listening! God Bless y'all!  

[elvan]

We CAN only go forward, I, too grieve for the person I could have been, for the lungs I could have had...DID have, but I know that the best thing I can do it is to take care of them now and to try to take care of myself...try to identify the person I am supposed to be and NURTURE my quit.  I just remembered that I posted a while ago that my quit was like a one-eyed, starving kitten you would see on an SPCA ad, it needs me, it needs my attention, my love, my nurturing.  THAT I am good at, I can nurture others, as long as I identify my quit as someone, a kitten, who needs me, I can take care of that baby! Best to all of you.

[maria86]

Hi everyone, trying to catch up here so I will reply to the latest posts.  Grief which I feel too not only from smoking.  Seems one minute you are young and the next minute swishhhhh your approaching 60 which isn't old but under the circumstances ya know what I mean.  I am a twin and was premature and read something quickly, think Thomas posted it.  As a matter of fact she is ill too and going to the dr. tomorrow, so is my other sister.  The analogy of the kitten sounds good to me Elvan, as I've done that many a time in my life.:-) So everyone today is a new day a new life and we got to make the best of what we have, yesterday is gone tomorrow is not here yet so maybe too if we try to live in the moment we all wil be better off.  God Bless All