Community
I have failed to quit so many times because i thought i could have 1 more joe. I know thats not possible now..... but can i enter a family situation where no inhale cigar is customary and it would be rude not to participate, or should i be real rude and not show up
It's a boy cigars... im tempted, not as much by a fancy cigar as i would be by a camel light , danger to my quit? Ide say no, but i know 1 cigerette can lead to a 2 year hiatus from my quit. On the other hand, dont want sound like a crackhead explaining to my wifes father why i shouldnt participate
Guess what im asking is, i know smoking one more is not an option, i even know taking 1 drag off my friends cig , from experience, would lead to me buying a pack and giving up for another few years... can i be social and have a no inhale cigar , or am i about to figure out the upteenth obsticle and have a total revert
Nicotine will be absorbed through the lining of your mouth into your blood stream. This is the addiction talking. Just say no to the cigar. Some rituals need to be put on hold if you are going to succeed. That is real. Be strong, but be honest.
Simple answer cigar smoking is smoking...so I would say no cigar smoking...you are trying to break a habit...~ Colleen 212 DOF
I agree. A cigar is smoking. You don't have to explain anything to anyone. "I don't do that anymore". Why would you want to take a chance losing your quit?
Barb
Change has got to be ok with you. If it is rude not to smoke, or you must pretend to smoke, then when will you have a fighting chance to achieve the quit you've been dreaming of?
Or if you feel so beholden to your family on the issure of cigars, can't you say something like, I hate to be rude, but for my health I must quit and no inhale cigar would tempt me, it just would, I appreciate your understanding.
Learning to say no is a must, but from your blog, it seems you already know this. You decide, politeness or the quality of your quit.
Welcome to our community!
I agree with those above - NO cigar. You will get nicotine from the smoke in your mouth going through the lining.. You don't get the addictive qualities from the inhalation of cigarette smoke, but from the nicotine contained in that smoke. You will reawaken the nicotine sensors in your brain and lead to another failed quit. To understand why this may be the end of your quit attempt this time, read on!
If you think your family will not understand - don't go - and this time maybe make up an excuse of a stomach bug, or an allergy attack, or a bad cold or..................When you are further along in your quit, you might be able to explain about your quit and why you can't participate. If they think you are being rude - let them. Quitting smoking is an absolute MUST for a long and healthy life. They may not even KNOW that nicotine in the smoke gets into their system even from the smoke in their mouths....you might provide an AHA moment for them: 6 Surprising Facts About Cigar Smoking
The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.
You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
Nancy
Guard your quit at all costs. You are a NICOTINE addict, just like all of us here. Refrain from a "no inhale" cigar, as it still would give you the drug you are addicted to. Is it worth risking your quit just to spare others from possibly/potentially being offended?
Personally, what everyone said is how I feel as well .
You came to us and that's great, its what we want you to do. I just want you to re-think something you said , You said:
"I have failed to quit so many times because i thought i could have 1 more joe. I know thats not possible now.."
I's say you answered your own question
When in doubt - protect your quit under all circumstances. Trust your instincts. They're yelling at you, so pay attention to them. If there's a question as to whether you should - don't. Common sense says: don't put temptation in front of your face.
Congrats on 9 days of freedom. Your quit is the number one priority over any custom. The best part of quitting is recognizing it is always a choice. A choice to remain free or a choice to be bound again You get to decide whether you take the risk to go back to day one. Isn't freedom amazing?
Without even reading all the comments, I'm gonna say no. Work your quit with all your might. It's so worth it.
Donna
Day 198
If there is one thing people seem to get is quitting smoking. Saw a guy buying lozenges yesterday. Mention it to anyone and they don’t even flinch. That is why I couldn’t understand why just telling people toecamp20102 that you are quitting would be a problem.
Thanks for sharing and that's your decision- ❤
Just to add to the opinions above... as gregp136 did mention that nicotine is also absorbed thru the mucosa in your mouth... ask any chewer. They don't inhale. I believe that many many, if not all, cigar smokers, do not actually inhale the smoke into their lungs, from just watching them. I could be wrong, even as a smoker if I saw a cigar I removed myself as much as possible, but just saying.
I think you know the answer. A puff is as good as a pack, even if just absorbed through the mouth. Don't kid yourself. You can't quit and smoke at the same time. .
"I don't smoke anymore" or "I am in the early stages of quitting smoking" should be sufficient and not rude.
Also gonna say not a good idea. If you were an alcoholic and had to abstain from a toast, no one, certainly not family, would make you do it. I would venture to guess if they care about you, they would make an accommodation (sparkling champagne) so you could participate without feeling badly.
Make your excuses...or tell it like it is. Sorry, I am trying to quit smoking and this is a slippery situation for me right now. In either case, you've got to learn to set boundaries and advocate for yourself. It's not wrong to put you first. I'd argue it's wrong to put your quit second to someone else's hurt feelings. And how hurt are they really gonna be that you said no? If I offered you coffee or tea and you said no thank you, I believe my feelings would still be in tact. Just sayin...
Well---I am the late comer here but I will echo what everyone said......cigars will put nicotine back into your body and awaken those receptors. Just like chew....you don't have to inhale to do damage to your body.
Sorry but I can't see how it is rude to refuse a cigar. If you were a recovering alcoholic, would the people around you think you were rude to refuse a toast with alcohol?
Stay Strong and keep this quit. You will be so glad you did.
It’s amazing to me that people get alcohol withdrawl even if they never had a problem with it. I can’t count how many times I was told to quit like it was nothing. Some from former smokers too. I really appreciate those that sympathize even if they never smoked. But it’s the current smokers I scare. They are always asking how I do it when they hear my experience on this journey. I guess I would scare me too!
Hi and congrats! Way to go! I agree with the comments here. I think that people should understand however they are not where we are. I think it depends on how strong you are in your quit stage. For me it would have been a no. Now I’m strong enough. I think it compares also to someone quitting drinking. If you quit drinking and go to a drinking party 2 weeks in-Are you strong enough to handle it? Remember your triggers are still very frequent at this stage. Hope all goes well and if you feel like taking a puff be sure to come to the site or send an email letting someone know so you can get backup strength so you won’t slip. Happy 4th everyone! Tanuaj 64 DOF
I don't think explaining to anyone your choice to be healthy would be a bad thing. Protect your quit you've already been through the hell of quitting...why have to go through it again.
In my opinion, it would be rude of your family to be offended by you not partaking in something that is bad for your health. Your quit is for you, and it's okay to take a break from people that don't want to be supportive one way or another. The cigar might be customary, but habitual smoking was customary for you, too! Thanks for posting! Hope we could help and that your quit is going great!
Congratulations on your quit...value it, protect it, put it before anything else, it is the only way it will survive. Ask your family to support your quit and to try to understand what a powerful addiction nicotine is.
Welcome to EX,
Ellen
I’m unclear. This event has cigars but none are ever lit? So it’s not a trigger situation? I guess I’m confused why it would be rude not to go if it something you never smoked at anyway. If they get lit and you don’t even want to have smoke in your mouth, could you just tell everyone you are quitting? Or are you tempted?