I desperately want this quit to be my last. I feel like I will not be strong enough to quit forever. I wonder if it is too late for me.
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I desperately want this quit to be my last. I feel like I will not be strong enough to quit forever. I wonder if it is too late for me.
Don't ever give up!! It's never too late!! Keep on trucking, and trying and you will get this!!
xo
I, too, lost track of all of my quits. THIS quit has been different because of EX and the overwhelming support and education I have gotten from here. I stayed very close to the site, it was my saving grace. I read blogs, I asked for advice and I listened when it was offered. I so wanted this to be my "Forever" Quit and I have not regretted quitting for one moment!
You can do this...I was so sick when I quit that I was afraid it was too late for me too. I smoked for 47 years but have been free for over five now. This is a journey that is well worth taking...one day at a time. You are not alone.
Ellen
That is wonderfully said. Thank you! I'm so grateful I found you guys.
Willingness not willpower.
Acceptance not strength
Please read the responses in your other post...it is never too late...You can do this quit...tell yourself Smoking will no longer be an option....
SO glad you found us, I was like you. I thought I would never get that monkey off of my back. I failed SO MANY TIMES. This site and a very short read book called THE EASYWAY TO STOP SMOKING By Alan Carr, helped me finally break the habit.
This is a wonderful instrument as is that book. Welcome to Ex. Now you have some homework to do. I recommend you first do the homework and then jump into your quit. I am one of these people who likes to keep the cart behind the horse for obvious reasons, so therefore, I suggest you learn and understand first then quit. Thats how I finally managed to quit. For me, Racing ahead to to get to the finish line and not understanding what obstacles I would run through much less HOW to run through, may result in a loss. I just could not afford the loss anymore.
We are here for you
Pretty good, I am trying to plan a distance run when i get off work so
that I do not fall in to regular habit of having some wine an dsmoking
On Tue, Jun 25, 2019 at 1:51 PM sweetplt <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>
Good Job...one step at a time...Colleen 204 DOF
Coyote1 Good plan, stay close to the site, that's what I did whenever I had time on my hands.
Ellen
Will do. Just staying busy. Cleaning EVERYTHING!
Oooh!!! A runner!!! And you said distance! I'm currently training for my first full marathon in October. I swear to you after 3 weeks, I'm already SO much stronger and I LOVE being quit!! It's not just the breathing that gets better. Its that the oxygen gets to all your muscles more efficiently. You CAN do this!!
Welcome - awe it is NEVER to late - gentle hug.
I’m glad you found this place. You will be successful here with us. I’m glad you are staying busy it really helps. I hope you have a nice night.
I know exactly how you feel about not being sure that this will be your last and final quit. Of the many things I and we could say about this is that this is a very powerful and serious addiction. Hence, those who keep trying can only be successful as long as we keep trying. Do give up quitting!!! If we look at it, if one quits trying whatever ways to quit they try, then that means he/she simply gave up quitting, and went back to active using, or smoking. It's simple logic.
There are those who say..."Just quit. Get it over with. Stop trying and do it now!!" Stop fighting it. Acceptance is the key to this. I have found over the years that some finally quit, some don't. I myself so deeply have a BURNING DESIRE to be an ex-smoker, and really, a NON-SMOKER.
All goal setting processes that have been marketed and hence changed MANY lives, regardless of the goal one has, Begin with a BURNING Desire to succeed. I quote a famous leader, motivator of many for the past 60+ years...
"Whatever you sincerely believe, ardently desire, and enthusiastically act upon, must certainly come to pass."
by Paul Meyer, of Leadership Motivation Institute.
I find that saying this expression over and over during the day helps remind me that I am finally a non-smoker.
Another thing...in the beginning and forward, don't ever drop your guard down, because the "demon" is always doing push ups in the parking lot wherever you go.
And, on that I offer my hand to commit to being a non-smoker just for today, and open my other hand to encourage whomever needs it!!!
Blessings,
Michael
Good for you. It's never too late. I smoked for 50 years. Keeping busy really helped me a lot. When I thought about my "reward cigarette" when I'd take a break, I come to the Ex instead.
One Day At A Time
Barb
How are you coming along today???
How is your quit???
Pretty good. Im sick now so that def makes it a little easier.
Sorry Coyote1 to hear you are sick...be sure to drink lots of fluids and rest...this happened to me...which yes made quitting so much easier...~ well wishes your way ~ Colleen 207 DOF
I quit when I was sick, it was so hard to breathe that I didn't want to smoke...I wanted to live and it might have been the first time that it was so clear to me. I hope you feel better soon, do drink lots of liquids, that will help with your smoking cessation as well. Find a way to entertain yourself, maybe watching funny movies or youtube videos...that releases dopamine and will make you feel better.
Ellen
I have to confess, I relapsed. I wasn't going to mention it because it means I'm a failure...AGAIN. My power went out, I went to wait for my partner and have some wine. Ì ate a bunch of pasta. My partner was moody after work. We went out somewhere else after because power was still off. Feeling pretty embarrassed.
You're not a failure.
When you want to smoke, say "I don't do that anymore."
Say it every time. It will retrain your thinking quickly.
It can be hard to not think of slips as failures and that will eat into your self esteem. Forgive yourself and make a new date if you want and keep moving forward. I have been struggling as well and I know that it better to breathe air
Not a failure, donot beat yourself up...just say...”You choose to smoke”...now how can you do different next time...write it down...and start it over...donot feel embarrassed...hell it has happened to the best of us...just work the program again and get started and know we are here for you Coyote1
~ Colleen 211 DOF
It is just this horrible. I can't freaking breath. Why do I do this to myself? Full disclosure, I have had a problem with the horrible 3 since I was 16. A cycle of self harm. I had an eating disorder, obsessed with"perfection". Then spiraling wildly into addiction with alcohol and tobacco. Even my addiction is controlled. I give myself permission to excessively over indulge. It has ruined my life, yet I have a ***** of a time just not ding it.
Self talk.
Perhaps you are telling yourself the wrong thing?
You are definitely not a failure. I can associate. Perfection is an impossible thing to achieve because it's our perception of what's perfect, not anyone else's You're probably a pretty wonderful person who's being too hard on themselves. Sounds familiar. Have you thought of seeing someone to get to the root of the problem. There can be many reasons why we use substances or behaviors to cope. I know some folks have done it all, but try to address one at a time. Having one success can move you onto next. So, if you choose smoking, then concentrate on that for now. Let yourself focus on that goal. Educate yourself about this addiction and have a plan in place. The success you experience will help to change your attitude to a more positive state. I never thought I could be 15 months smoke free after 50 years smoking. I've tried many times and used numerous aids. I used an aid this time, but I know the support I received here made it possible. Believe that you can do it and we'll do everything we can to support you.
Hugs
Barb
Thank you so so so much!
You're probably right.
Number 1: Breathe! Seriously just take a step back and take a few moments to focus. I sense a big spiral happening here that will suck you down if you continue to go with it.
Number 2: Do NOT berate yourself. I am hearing a lot of negative self talk and I would bet the money I've saved from not smoking that this is not a habit you picked up just yesterday. You are going to need to stop that to get into the right mindset for your quit. You have to genuinely want to do it because you care about yourself. You can't do that if you're hating on you!!!
Number 3: FORGIVE yourself. No one's perfect. We all make mistakes. If you mess up, apologize and move on. You slipped. So what? You came back here to fess up and see what we had to say about it, yes? Are you really surprised at how we responded to you? You KNEW deep down we'd forgive you and try to put you back on track. We're setting an example for your brain just now.
Pick a new date and start training your brain to stop the negative self talk. When you recognize it, STOP it, breathe and identify one thing you can do/say to stop the spiral.
TriGirl said it beautifully. This is exactly how you become proficient at it:
"...start training your brain to stop the negative self talk. When you recognize it, STOP it, breathe and identify one thing you can do/say to stop the spiral."
First we have to catch ourselves in the midst of the negative. The more you practice, the better you'll get at it. You'll suddenly begin to take that step back more often as you become more and more aware of your thinking.
So how do you stop giving yourself permission to overindulge? Perhaps begin in small steps? Next time you want to overindulge, use a little self-discipline and just say "not THIS time." Skip one overindulging experience. That proves you CAN. Then do two in a row. Then three. Practice self-discipline. May be a stupid idea, but - hey - we have to experiment until we come up with what works. YOU have to come up with what works for you. So, figure it out. If you make it a priority in your life - you'll figure it out. Just keep at it.
As far as perfection - what's your idea of the "perfect" you? Just curious.
Healthy, strong, wise
Totally clear on the fact that overindulgence does not fit in that description
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”
― Henry Ford
Start thinking you can.
It is NEVER too late. This is my second longest quit; my longest was 8 years. Yes years. That was about 15 years ago. I'm done with it. I hate smoking and everything that goes with it, including the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness I used to experience when I was still using. Guilt, self-hate, all that crap. I went through it all and don't want to go there again.
Quit, quit, and quit again. Please don't ever stop trying.
Donna
Day 198
Thanks Donna...this post or sharing really spoke to me this morning....:)
Michael
On Wed, Jul 3, 2019 at 1:52 PM DonnaMarie <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>
No one quits forever while still smoking--for most it is not possible to believe in forever when a cigarette was just smoked and another will be smoked soon. But forever is built one day at a time once you quit (and only one day at a time--no peeking into the future about how will you cope tomorrow, next week--gotta keep it in today) So quitting is more about accepting what comes your way each day rather than trying to control how you feel about your quit, or your past smoking.
If you stick around Ex you will find that you are surrounded by quit friends who get what you feel and what your fears are. Ex is here to help and that's on a daily basis. Stick around, read, get acquainted and keep blogging. Left alone to quit, many of us talk us into the negative. Yes you can find the quit you've been dreaming of one day at a time.