Been technology free for over a week – Mobile mislaid, laptop with IT hero. Now everything laptop-wise has been reloaded and working properly and FAST again!!! Mobile also found.
The rest of the time I’ve been quiet because of many personal downs and shocks over the last 12 months but I try to check in here once a day just to feel a part of the best group of people I’ve ever known – in life or in cyberspace.
I have nothing encouraging or uplifting to share with newbies or old friends – my depression is back with a vengeance but not surprising, considering. Everything is just very dark. I get through every day with at least one positive thought to repeat together with the serenity prayer. It mostly works. But as Gran used to say – you have only miserable, unhappy things to talk about, best you keep quiet and don’t spoil others’ day.
Can happily report, even with all the shocks, panic, tears, depression, anxiety and anger – I am still nicotine free. But I must confess; I’ve been tempted. The words have been said out loud. “I want a cigarette now”. That concerns me. Mind, it’s only happened maybe 4 times since August but even so – a bit surprising every time I have the thought. It’s difficult to find the courage to face every day. Staying in bed is the easy option but then the guilt gnaws at me. The next hurdle is to get dressed. If I accomplish that, then the day stands a chance of not knocking me down again. But it’s hard. I’m struggling, I cannot lie.
Enough! I’m checking in to say to all you lucky, lucky EX smokers – Have a blast guys. I hope your weekend is everything you are hoping it will be plus more. Enjoy the new meetups and reconnecting to old mates – SO EXCITING!!! I will be following you on the site and I’m with you in spirit. There’s nothing more I want than to meet all of you and spend a weekend just laughing, enjoying and sharing. Make the most of it!
Love you all and blessings to each