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Give and get support around quitting

Altalee
Member

I have been trying to quit smoking for 3 yrs now . Can someone tell me what i'm doing wrong

Please someone help me quit

26 Replies
green1611
Member

Well tried !. But do not stop trying. The average failure to stop is 11 times..means smoker tries to quit cigarette but fails to do so. It happens. If your mind is prepared to quit, do not stop, you need to quit.

Read Allen Carr if not already. That will help to stay quit.Secondly once you quit, stay on the premise that you will not smoke, what may happen. It will work.

All the best.

TW517
Member

I know what I was doing wrong for years:

  1. I didn't do any preparation or research.  Nancy YoungAtHeart  will be along later to give you a great Welcome message with great information on how to begin.
  2. I didn't have a support group (like this EX Community) in place to vent when I needed and celebrate all the little milestones.
  3. I kept "trying" to quit instead of "deciding" to quit.  Sounds kind of glib, but it is true.  Attitude made a huge difference.  When I was "trying", I automatically was giving myself permission to fail.  Like, "Well, I tried, but it was just too hard, or this event happened, etc."  This time I decided that no matter what happened or how I felt, I was not going to have a cigarette.  I would do something else, or just live through it.

Welcome to our EX Community!  Glad you found us!

mrios5776
Member

Your number 3 hit the nail on the head for me.

Karine
Member

Yes to all of the above especially the "trying to " part .  I have another quit date coming up . But also in my case I did research lots of it I was obsessed with research . However like Morpheus ala the Matrix said " there is a big difference between knowing the path and walking the walk .  So I knew and oh boy do I know but I wasn't walking the walk.  

I hear you Altalee‌ I need help too.  Here are some things I am doing know . 1) Forgive myself I am human and failing doesn't mean I am a bad person . 2) I am  working on creating  good habits now. Actually I am reactivating the  great habits I once had. I realized that smoking is a bad habit and if you fail your quit you are right back at square one because I know this habit and my brain remembers and reverts to the whole smoking thing again So  I  will need to replace it with good habits  But since I already have had great habits in the past  I realized I just needed to reactivate the good habits. 3)  I will reread Allan Carrs Book because I probably didn't absorb it all. Also I am reading and rereading James Clear's Book Atomic Habits.  I also have Mel Robbins book The 5 second Rule on my reference list as well as Chris Skoyles on Youtube.  I love him because he is very real and honest about his journey to becoming a non smoker. I also have a quit smoking counselor I meet with once a week.  

For me I know I recently failed my most recent attempt ( there you go another weak word I used) because I gave my control over to Chantix.  Now Chantix did help me stay quit for almost 2 months . Don't get me wrong it gave me that experience which is unforgettable.  I am now clinging to how great it was to not smoke. Yes even though I relapsed I have that memory  and that gives me hope. My problem with the Chantix was my inertia and inactivity and isolation which fed my tendency to be depressed.  That is why I stopped it and relapsed. However I am learning something as I respond to you.  Here it is the word active ....I was not active in my quit . Not sure that makes sense but it does to me . I was letting the Chantix do the work and I was just riding the waves of urges until I crashed.  I get it now right now -this is what happened.  I must be active in my quit . I must be an active particpant . Nothing wrong with the quit smoking aids but that's is all they are . Its up to me ...  I wish you success and fingers crossed for me 

TW517
Member

Yep, you nailed it.  We really have to be active in our quits, because you are so correct, nothing quits for us.  We are the ones who have to do the work.  Glad you have picked a new quit date.  I will not wish you luck on your attempt, but rather congratulate you on your choice of actions!

sweetplt
Member

Hi and Welcome to Ex’s

I am happy you found our site.  Also, pat yourself on the back, at least you have been trying to quit.  Now, this takes work, knowledge and preparation...Please read at My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX there you will learn about quitting, and you will actively participate in your own unique plan.  Also, you will choose a quit date and plan for that day like no other...This is not easy, but so doable...you want to keep close to the support site for help.  We are in this journey together...~ Colleen 161 DOF 

DonnaMarie
Member

Good morning,

I quit a number of times before I really quit. You are reaching out for help. That tells me you're serious in your interest in quitting. That should also give you some strength and steel your resolve.

I agree with reading Allen Carr's Easy Way book. You can get it for free at the library or buy a copy for yourself. I also suggest remembering your "why" as often as possible. It's worth it to remind yourself.

Come here as much as you like or need to. The people here helped support me in the early days of my quit and are my cheerleaders still! We've all had a day one or several days one.

Welcome!

Donna

Giulia
Member

What did it for me was support.  I was on other sites before this one.  Through reading and communicating with others who were going through the process, those who had successful quits, those who were struggling like me, I learned much.  I learned that smoking wasn't just a bad habit.  I learned I wasn't alone.  I learned HOW to change my thinking.  Because it's really about changing our thinking that enables us to become free.  

So, what are you doing wrong?  Well, first we'd have to know WHAT it is you've tried that hasn't worked.  When things don't work, we have to try something else.  And something else.  And something else until we discover what DOES work.  The more you read, the more wisdom you'll gain.  So read MUCH!  And try everything.  The quit plan here is a good one.  I'd begin there.  And keep talking to us.  We'll walk the journey with you.  Have heart!   And know that you can do this.  If WE can, YOU can!