Hi everyone.. Just wanted to share my smoking story. I started 25 odd years ago at the age of 16. Both my parents smoked. In the house, car etc so it was just part of life I thought. I first wanted to quit when I was about 28. It was hard when I was in my 20's as I drank alcohol/partied quite regularly and it just came with the territory. I think my first stint of quitting was at the age of about 32. That lasted for 2 or so years.. Every time I had major stress or trauma, I would start again. Or too many drinks & I would suddenly be having 'just one'. Soon I was back on the smokes daily.
I have lost count of how many times I have tried to quit. Cold turkey, patches, hypnosis...
I recently lost the love of my life in a tragic motorbike accident. He was only 39.. It was also I crime as a driver had run him down. Before the accident I was only smoking here and there with a drink as my partner was good at the social smoking thing. He would just hide them when we had finished a few drinks. After he passed, I started up again daily. It's been 8 months now & I have had a week or two here and there where I have worn a nicotine patch and not smoked. I desperately want to stop as it's only making me feel more anxious and depressed. I am constantly told by friends, therapists etc to keep smoking but I am so over it controlling me yet again.
So I had my last smoke this morning and have put a patch on again. Feeling much better already and have had more energy today!!
Has anyone here quit whilst going through major trauma? I figure there's always going to be stress in our lives and if I can do it now, I can do it anytime.
Thanks for listening
Welcome to our community!
I am so sorry for your loss and the grief you are experiencing. You have my deepest sympathy.
I think now might be a perfect time to quit after a huge part of your life has been changed by forces beyond your control. A quit is something you CAN control. It might be helpful in giving you something over which you do have a measure of control. The reason we smoked when we were stressed or emotional was to hide from it all behind that cloud. Learning to deal with your grief now might be a good beginning on the journey to healing from it.
The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.
You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
Nancy