I guess it is a memory miss as Barb said, because there are times I still think a cigarette would be great. I mentioned it in another post recently, that it's been on my mind more lately. I think it's the change of seasons. I miss sitting outside and smoking and really just doing nothing. I honestly didn't feel bad about myself that I was a smoker, how much money I spent, having to go off on my own, didn't feel like I was sneaking, etc. I was always very respectful of non-smokers, discarding my cigarette butts, etc. My only motivation for quitting was health reasons. Hopefully, not getting all the illnesses that I don't have yet (as far as I know). I see a difference between doing something because we want to do it and because we should do it. Maybe the key to this and why I've made it this time, is someway melding the want and should. I want to because I should for my health. Does that make any sense? Some folks seem to find it easier to focus on how wonderful it is to be a non-smoker, how they feel better , etc. I don't feel very different physically. I think that's why the Ex has been beneficial for me. It reminds me everyday of the reasons why I I want/ should do this for myself. It's been a struggle and still is a times, but I am so proud that I haven't smoke for more than a year. Something I never did before.
That being said, you did this before, so I know you can do it again. Talk the talk of being a non-smoker and we'll be elders together. I still say to myself, I don't do that anymore. Now if I can fix everything else in my life. LOL.
Barb
