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After doing okay for 5 days , tonight I feel very sad and lost .
This feeling I didn’t have when I quit years ago but I had kids then and was married .
Empty nester and divorced now ( all in past 16 months ) so I feel like smoking was my friend . Until it wasn’t .
Not even craving a cigarette. Just feel very blah and lost .
Any tips on how to get through the feelings .
Thanks
Thank you , Barb . It’s a strange feeling but I’ll accept it and not try to fight it off .
It’s like a black cloud is over my head after I’ve has sunshine for past 5 days ....
I’m mighty . I know it will pass and it helps so much to know others have went through the same feelings .
First of all hugs to you.
I get too. I felt like I gave up a close friend when I quit smoking. You've gone through alot and its natural to feel sad even if you were not a smoker. Things will look brighter, I promise. Meantime perhaps this would be a nice time to express your thoughts in a journal. I did this. I love journaling. You could work thorough some private emotions and perhaps see them in a different light later. Maybe list the things you want to work on as well as the good things you currently have. It can be a great way to personal growth.
Quitting smoking brings forth alot of emotions and this can be like new spring growth if you choose to look at it differently for now.
Congratulation on five days smoke-free. That is so WONDERFUL. Here is a link that I found for you to study and read. https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2012/08/02/smoking-and-depression. There is a wealth of information here. All you have to do is type in a key and you are off to researching. Plus this will take your mind off of your situation. Education is the key to a successful quit. The more you read, study and ask questions. You will learn to protect your quit. Hang tough, never give in never give up. Protect the 5 days you have managed through with NOPE no matter what is happening your life. Smoking will not fix it It is only a drug fix. You are in HELL NO I will NOt SMOKE Week 2 more days to go to. 7 days then 14, 21, 30 50 and on and on. You can do this. It is a withdrawal symptom. Whatever you have to go through is worth it. Keep it going. Stay close to the site. We are here to support you.
Music creates dopamine.
Everyone talks about the first 3 days being the hardest. I still say Day 5 is the worst. It was for me, and I see people here talk about it a lot. Wish I had a good tip to give you. I just kind of survived it somehow. I decided I wouldn't smoke and I would let it get as bad as it had to get. Hated it, but got through it. You will to. Might not feel that way now, but you will.
Unfortunately, that feeling “losing a friend” is so much a part of this journey. We all went through this feeling. I find quitting smoking is very much like death / divorce etc., it is learning to go through one’s day without the smokes and finding other interests which isn’t easy...Hang in there, you have gone through a lot in a short amount of time. You will get it through it, but it takes time...get some rest and early sleep, often the next day can feel so different. Sending good vibes your way hon ~ Colleen 136 DOF
I smoked for 37 years and know darn well I had lots of sad days. It’s normal to have those days that you just kind of feel blah or out of sorts. Can you honestly say that when you smoked every day was wonderful? I hardly think so.
Sometimes life is just plain hard. Smoking doesn’t fix anything. Just hang in there and stay out of your head. You know darn well that you wouldn’t have made the decision to quit if everything was hunky dory. Trust yourself.
We we are here for you!
Beck
I can so relate to how you feel. I’m alone now in a house that is so very quiet and sad. Too many losses recently. I didn’t really have a choice about adding in quitting. It’s a challenge. You aren’t alone in feeling that.
That’s how I feel . It’s not so bad during the day because I keep very busy and distracted but tonight it seems I’m more self focused and also alone with the exception of my beloved dog .
I’m not going to smoke again . No matter what . I’m not even craving a smoke . Just feel off and sad
Welcome to the Ex. Big congrats on 5 days. I had more issues with the emotional end of quitting than the physical withdrawal. Aside from the fact that you have some recent losses in your life, it's not uncommon for some to have these feelings of loss and sadness. They say smoking has masked our emotions and they come to the surface when we quit. I know the feeling. I kept real busy, but you can't stay busy all the time. Look for something else for the down times--a movie, music, video games, etc. It's real important to replace the dopamine that our brains got from smoking. And, put your beloved dog to good use! "Preliminary results from a study show that a few minutes of stroking our pet dog prompts a release of a number of "feel good" hormones in humans, including serotonin, prolactin and oxytocin". Lots of pet lovers here.
Barb
Great job on quitting smoking. I was real sad for a while. It is grieving a loss. Take loving care of yourself. "This too shall pass."
Ah yes, the lonely feeling is quite real for a lot of us. I tend to have the TV on in the background all the time, and try to get outside as much as possible. Sometimes I go to a cafe or go shopping to be around other people. It take summoning up the courage to make those decisions. You'll get through this!
I just wanted to mention that I do totally understand how you feel. I’ve been divorced/single for years. No human children only 2 wonderful dogs and my family is all over the country/world. No real friends cause I work a lot of hours in customer service so the last thing I want to do is hang out with people. There are times when I feel extremely lonely/sad. It’s hard when you have only yourself to rely on and no one “has your back”. But I only allow myself brief pity parties cause I know this is just the way it is right now. So I get out of my head.... talk myself off of that ledge. Shake those thoughts out of my head cause they are getting me no where and start looking around at all my blessings.
There are days right now that are tougher than tough, but so am I. I have hopes and dreams for my future so I will hang in....
Beck
Thank you for sharing Beck .
For me , I work from home and live in a rural area so I rarely see anyone . Usually I don’t mind as I’m kind of an introvert . But since the divorce and being an empty nester and now quitting smoking it’s a lot to deal with .
But . I’m trying to focus on things I’m grateful for like my fabulous dog who is truly my best friend . I have a huge vegetable garden that brings me so much joy and peace plus I never buy veggies from store ! Lol
Night time is when I struggle the most ....but I decided this morning to have some strategies set up when I get down at night .
Ive saved some guided meditation links on my phone , bought some non caffeinated chamomile tea , bought some lavender Epsom salts for baths , went to library and checked out some books I’ve wanted to read and have a list of documentaries to watch .
During the day , I’m okay and haven’t had many physical cravings at all . At night , it’s more emotional / psychological cravings . And then I cry . It’s most inconvenient. Plus I’m doing okay .
Just hang in there... maybe take that fabulous dog for walks in the evening now that it’s staying light later. There is nothing like fresh air and the happy waggle of a puppy tail to make everything feel better.
This stuff is seriously going to happen in your life with or without smoking. I am at 116 days and I honestly rarely even think about it anymore.....
Beck
Sent from my iPad
Congrats on your 116 ! That’s really something to be proud of Beck !
Im DETERMINED to never smoke again . Not even a puff . That’s what has made me lose other times after having years into my quit . The thinking “ I can have just one .”
i know I cannot . Some people can . Not me .
We walk miles daily even before I stopped smoking . I’ve added a few more miles because I don’t want to gain weight , but that fear has gotten better the past few days . I think .
CONGRATS AND GOOD JOB STAYING NICOTINE FREE - Thanks for sharing and asking - for ME - I just keep reading the blogs here- one after the other - for ME - to HELP others when I was hurting and it HELPED ME to get out of MYSELF- just sharing MY experience strength and HOPE- gentle hug.
Congratulations on your quit, this really can be quite an emotional roller coaster. Much of that has to do with the fact that we never learned to deal with our emotions while we were smoking. We stuffed everything down and thought we were doing alright. We weren't, aside from the physical damage that many of us did, we were emotionally stunted. We did not know how to handle anger, sadness, grief, even joy. We put everything into our cigarettes. Quitting is a journey, it is not an event and it is sometimes one feeling at a time, I absolutely feel that the psychological withdrawal is much worse than the physical. There are things you can do for yourself, listening to music is huge...turn it up high and sing and dance to it. Exercise is a huge help and petting an animal is joyful. Plan something physical for the evenings....oh and it's okay to cry, it's okay to feel sad, it's okay to feel angry. Feelings are meant to be FELT, not stuffed down, you are growing.
Grieving the loss of that "friend" who was trying to kill us is perfectly normal, as uncomfortable as it may be. It WILL get better. Stay close to the site...come here in the morning and the evening and read and comment, you will find someone who is either in exactly the same place you are in or who has just left that place...you may even find someone who is approaching that space. That's how this works, we all hold each other up and it is so worth is.
Welcome,
Ellen
I understand you. I remember feeling that same feeling. Like a loss a sadness not a crave. I realized, with help from this site, that those are memory craves. Remembering other times and smoking. You feel so much is gone and now that too. Smoking was not, is not your friend. It will make you very sick as I am finding out. I wish I had quit sooner. I can only go forward. So can you. We are here for you. We understand you. Take it hour by hour. Day by day. You want to stop. You just need some support to help you. I will help you. This site and the Elders will too. Distract yourself anyway you have to. It WILL pass. Remember no ever died from giving up smoking - only from not giving it up. You want to quit and you will. Sending you a gentle hug and my support