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Give and get support around quitting

MrsPoe
Member

Time for a cool change 🎶

Hello! I've decided to quit smoking and am going to need all the support I can get! Here's a little background...

I am an army wife and a new mother of 1 beautiful 7 month old daughter. My husband and I have been together for 7 years, both smoking years before we met. I personally have been smoking for around 10 years give or take, I'm 23, and have experienced an array of huge life changes in the past 7 months. 8/31 our daughter was born by emergency cesarean. 9/4 my husband left for basic training. We quit smoking last year on 2/20 because I found out I was pregnant. Since it was no longer just my body, I felt a strong need to quit. And he was my biggest supporter.

Fast forward to 11/16. Family day for my husband, I travelled from Oregon to Georgia to spend a couple of days with him. I had a cab driver that smoked in the cab, and immediately felt myself wanting to smoke. I curbed it because my husband was not smoking and it gave me inspiration (plus it was against the rules for him to use any tobacco during basic training). But once I got home, I began smoking again. Very slow at first, only 5 or 6 cigarettes a day. Once he got out of basic and stationed in Louisiana (where we live now) he began smoking again. I've never lived anywhere but my hometown and smoking seemed to curb the intensity of the culture shock, or so I thought. And having an infant who I'm basically alone with 24/7 with limited breaks, because the Army has my husband for weeks sometimes a month at a time, I feel the only real time I have to myself is the 10 minute maximum time I take to smoke a cigarette. I know I could be doing other, more productive activities with that 10 minutes. But the cigarette craving and convenience at the time is stronger than my want to do those other, more productive activities. I feel lazy at times, also like I'm throwing my life away because I could be focusing on a talent or hobby. I give literally all of my time making sure my daughter is taken care of and happy, and to my husband who works so hard to provide the life we deserve, the life we've always dreamed of having (since we were in the beginning of our relationship) and he deserves to come home to a happy, clean home. I need support, I have a killer support system don't get me wrong. But I need support when everyone else is busy with their own lives. I need to find inner strength and will power to just say no. I need to take care of myself without feeling that cigarettes are my only option for a bit of relaxation. I've gone through my triggers and ways to defeat them on this site, and I'm pretty positive I can make them work to my advantage. But as you all know, it's a lot easier said than done. If you've gotten all the way through this, I want to say thank you so much for taking the time to read it and really appreciate any advice, help, or even just positive words you may have to help get me through this. This is for me, my family, and our future. Have a blessed day, and keep up the great work!!

13 Replies
TW517
Member

Yay for you!  Sounds like you have the best motivation to succeed!  Welcome to EX! 

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

WE can be your support system when the others are not available!  You seem to have a good handle on why you want to quit, and what you can do instead of smoke when you do.  Good beginning!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.


 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for four reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion,  3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire and 4) you can become addicted to that and it has not yet been proven safe .
 

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

indingrl
Member

Welcome mrspoe and CONGRATS and Please continue to blog on anything and everything - venting blogs to just get stuff out in the open and please remember - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER -those staying quit for YEARS SUGGESTED to ME to go to whyquit.com too and watch the videos on NICOTINE addiction also to read the FREE book called NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER by Joel who has been HELPING NICOTINE ADDICTS for over 40 YEARS - it is ALL free at whyquit.com  - that was SUGGESTED to ME in MY EARLY RECOVERY and please KEEP sharing because YOU HELP ME too and please give US time to answer you and please know to be HELPFUL is MY only aim so take what HELPS and let go of the rest- thank you - I think - not feel -  because feelings come and go and feelings are fickle - FACTS -   I think -  that YOUR doing GOOD and educating YOURSELF on YOUR OWN NICOTINE ADDICTION is the key - the people STAYING quit for years SUGGESTED that to ME 8 YEARS ago and TODAY-  I still remain open minded to KEEP learning - thank you so much for sharing and caring to open your heart and your courage and honesty to be TRUE to yourself first and then to us- WAY TO GO MRSPOE- gentle hug.

Beck37
Member

You sound like a very bright young woman with just so much going for you. Most of us here are triple your years in both smoking and age and believe me it’s only going to be that more difficult the longer you wait.  You really have already figured it out. You know why you smoke, your triggers etc....  If your life is going well now just think how much more amazing it will be if you can avoid so many of the diseases brought on by smoking that so many of the people here suffer from.  

I truly wish I had been as aware at your age about my smoking. You have a new baby. If you quit now she will never have a memory of you being “unavailable” because you had to have a cigarette. I have all the faith in the world that you can do this. It’s just a cigarette. Discover something fun, relaxing or healthy to do in those 10 minutes of escape that you get. 

We are so here for you and will be here to help when you need us. Keep that wonderful, positive energy and you will do this!!!!

Beck

MrsPoe
Member

Thank you all so much for your kind words and very helpful advice! I will search into every single piece you've given me, I am so blessed to have found this site! We can and will support each other through this ❤ You all are amazing!

indingrl
Member

YOU mrspoe are most welcome and please keep blogging blogging blogging BEFORE you take the first PUFF over you- thank you- just sharing what was SUGGESTED to ME in early RECOVERY from NICOTINE - gentle hug.

Sootie
Member

I am so glad you joined our community. And I am VERY GLAD you are trying to quit so young. Most of us on here smoked for many,many years and we all wish we had quit when we were younger. This is one of the best decisions you will ever make. Stay close to this site. We can provide you with entertainment for those precious 10 minutes breaks you get (instead of smoking) and the readings will help you understand and get through the cravings.

Welcome to EX. We are all in this together.

And please thank your husband for his service and thank you also for your sacrifices as an army wife.

sweetplt
Member

Hi and Welcome to Ex’s,

Thank you for sharing your history.  Many of us have had one or more quits.  You just explained absolutely wonderful reasons to quit smoking...You, your baby girl and hubs...You sound like you have a great attitude and loneliness can have us turn to smoking.  However, it is important to find other things to do to give yourself a break.  You can work on those things “step by step” while in your quitting journey...Might I suggest, you read at My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX where you will learn about quitting, triggers, craves, and set a quit date.  You will then prepare for that day like no other...as you work on your quit, you can think of things to do to replace your smoking breaks.  You can do this...I admire you and your husbands dedication to the US...~ Colleen 131 DOF 

MarilynH
Member

Welcome to the community you've made the best decision that you'll ever make in your lifetime and it's definetly the best gift that you'll ever give yourself which is the gift of LIFE, stay close to this site because we're all here to help you in any way we can, congratulations on your precious baby girl and congrats again on quitting smoking you can and will be successful one precious Smokefree Day at a time or hour minute or even a second at a time, deep breaths and pick your quit date and when your day ONE arrives keep your mind as well as your hands occupied and then at the end of the day you'll be able to YAY for Day WON with many more to come you can do this quit believe it as difficult as quitting smoking can be it's absolutely Doable and totally worth it......MrsPoe

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