I feel I will fail even though I have trouble breathing, I've shed many tears, I've been smoking 47 years
It's weird. A mind game actually. I really struggled the first 60 days or so of my quit, and to me, it seemed like everyone else who quit around the same time was sailing through their quit. I was happy for them, but felt like something was wrong with me, and that maybe I should just "quit" my quit. Of course, in reality, quite of few i(f not most) were struggling just as hard or worse than me. I just couldn't see that then.
All of us here feared failure at the beginning. You eventually get the hang of it, and coming here for support when you are struggling is encouraged and was a life saver for me. Welcome to EX! Glad you are here!
Quitting is all about attitude. Let that fear of failure motivate you.... if you go into your quit okay with failing then you probably will. If on the other hand you refuse to fail, then you will be successful. There are not many things we have control of in our life, but choosing whether we smoke or not is.
All of of us on this site have smoked for many years, just like you. Yes, quitting is scary, it’s all you’ve ever known. You will go thru some real crazies in your quit but you will be okay. The mental part will be the most difficult cause everything you’ve done in the last 47 years involved smoking. But guess what, there are truly billions of people all around us that never ever smoked and somehow are surviving and so can you.....
When I smoked my very last cigarette 110 days ago, I took my time. I knew that it was going to be my last one ever, so I acknowledged that at the time. I will not let myself down. I committed to my quit. I did not allow myself an out. Unlike so many other things in my life, this is totally on me...... and I will not fail me.
Stay out of your head.... make yourself proud. We are here for you!
Well said. We can only succeed when we say we can.
It is hard for all of us also. Even after my heart attack I relapsed twice but I got back up because a lot of people here knew how to contact me and they came after me they would not let me fall and stay down. I had fluid in my lungs really bad when I smoked and could not even speak one sentence without coughing. I finally got mad at this addiction instead of giving in to it. Keep telling yourself you can do this and never give up no matter what happens. You are going to have some tough times but so did all of us but it does get better with time. I never thought I could quit smoking but here I am smoke free for over 10 years now. You can do this.
In HIS love I love you Christine and miss visiting YOUR page from the OLD site- gentle hug.
indingrl.01.06.2011 Yep I miss the old site also it was nice while we had it. I am glad you are still around this place helping everyone. (((Hugs to you)))
Christine, your words are so true & you sound so much like my mom telling me it will get better with time & she has been smoke free over 12 years even though we live together & i have still been smoking until a few weeks ago. hug hug
troublesleeping I am glad you made a choice to quit smoking you will be glad next time you get really sick from a cold or the flu your body will thank you by getting better quicker. Thanks for the hug I needed one today. I hope you have a nice day. Best wishes to you. (((((Big hug to you)))))
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troublesleeping Did you get the private message I sent you on name change? I saw your biography on your page that you could not change your name so I sent you instructions who to contact if you still wanted to do a name change.
Christine I got your messag e & at pint ityped a will get in touch with Mark. My computer goes haywire & I just a long message to you & now it all disappeared. My mom needs my attention first & foremost, she has crippling arthritis & is blind in her left eye from Macular Degeneration so her needs come first over mine. I ahve to get to neurosurgeon to chk the brain tumor I have, thank God it's benign but i still have to go because of the location & it's inoperable. I am in constant pain from the deterioaration of my spine started before the malignant tumor was removed from my spinal fluid so I am on disability but no one helps us famoops she ily no longer talks to us so i cna't always be on the computer so long too much pain sitting . But i will take care of it, my mom is calling becasue she didnlt feel me in bed so i must go back upstairs . This has been why i smoked because it gave me some enjoyment & able to calm my nerves but my health comes first. So far anyone who has been kind enough to send me an email I told them my name,.oops she is calling me again, gotta go. God Bless Donna
troublesleeping I totally understand about doing everything as you can that is how my life is all the time I am also disabled. I was not sure if you had gotten my message so I was making sure I did not leave you hanging with something you still might want done after reading your biography on your page about not being able to change your name. Don’t worry about getting online we do understand about being in pain and having all the responsibilities that you have. Do what you need to do. I hope all goes well for you.
Good morning Christine, thank you for understanding. I am so sorry to know that you are also disabled. I will keep you in my prayers .Donna
On Monday, April 29, 2019, 2:12:45 AM EDT, Christine_Aka_Legend <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
Re: Why does it seem like others find it easier to quit
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troublesleeping Thank you Donna.
WELCOME sister5 and I have used MY drug NICOTINE for 38 YEARS and at the end I was using 50 death sticks a day - i tried for YEARS off and on to quit- I have tried going to learn at different meetings at hospitsls who offered on the weekend to come and listen to people on panels - different stories on quitting smoking - i tried the a piece of gum I tried the patches and many other SELF will quits - with feelings thinking saying to MYSELF - I WILL DO THIS ON MY OWN -I-I DONT NEED ANYONE- then I attempted many many quits YET IT NEVER worked for ME- please I am talking about ME NOT anyone else- i came here in October- 2010 because I had seen their t.v. commercial- a guy sitting at a counter trying to drink a cup of coffee and he kept missing his mouth- it said it is hard in the beginning to drink a cup of coffee when you FIRST QUIT smoking- then it talked about becomeanEX.org - so I came and joined on their OLD SITE- they have up graded their site to this type of communication - yet at that TIME october 2010 - I was still using 2-3 death sticks a day while exercising everyday and eating healthier YET I could NOT quit using 2- 3 death sticks a day- NOW this is MY RECOVERY from NICOTINE story - NOT anyone else's- I am a born again believer since November 6, 1986 - MY FACTS not feelings - I was coming here every day and reading the blogs and taking the SUGGESTIONS and while still TRYING to quit on MY OWN- I kept using 2- 3 death sticks a day- I set a quit day and I would use AGAIN- so I tired and tried to quit on MY OWN and then finally- I surrendered - one night - I dropped to MY knees and cried out to MY Lord Jesus- I prayed - dear Jesus if you don't take these cigs from ME I will smoke them til I drop dead in Jesus name amen- I went to bed and the next day I had a COLD TURKEY QUIT on January 6 - 2011 and I came here told MY story and I took all the SUGGESTIONS and I have been coming here ever since- PLEASE do not concern yourself with HOW it seems for others - it seems like their easier quits - NO ONE - KNOWS WHAT OTHER NICOTINE ADDICTS SUFFERED TO QUIT OR HAD TO GO THROUGH PAIN- and EACH has their OWN PERSONAL stories - and it is NOT MY BUSINESS to know - the ONLY one I speak of is ME - I share MY experience strength and HOPE and Please I am talking about ME NOT anyone else - PLEASE take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - just HELPING - gentle hug.
Welcome to our community!
Most of us started where you are now. Being anxious about failure is part of the brainwashing that informed us (wrongly) that it was just toooooooo hard to quit. It isn't easy, but if you educate yourself, prepare, plan, commit and get support here, you can be successful. You CAN!
The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.
You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them.. For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum. For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for four reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire and 4) you can become addicted to that and it has not yet been proven safe .
It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T. You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas: https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smokeThe conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
Nancy, such words of wisdom have inspired me to work even harder than I have to tell myself for my health I must quit. Thank you for sharing it with me. God love you & bless you. LOts of hugs ! Donna (aka troublesleeping)
The whole entire reason we came here and stayed here is that quitting is NOT easy. For anyone. Ever. We support each other here so we can keep our quits precious.
The grass is always greener, right? Truthfully, quitting is hard but some quitters choose to remain positive and hold onto all they are gaining. Others recognize the struggle and get stuck as they try to move forward. Still others need some professional assistance as they maneuver their quits. Your quit is yours to create as you choose!! You need to know what will work for you. Educate yourself on addiction and recovery so you know what to expect. Ask for help when you need it. Get professional support if you need it. And know that quitting is worth everything you are going through now
This is EXactly what I was going to say. Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 OMGoodness! "The grass is always greener, right"? Until you get started you never know how your quitting experience is going to be. Quitting takes work. You have to be willing to do the work by any means necessary. NOPEno matter what.
You know what they say, JACKIE1-25-15...great minds....
No please don’t feel that way. I struggled it wasn’t easy for me at all. It was awful. But I did it 40 plus years of smoking 1 -2 pks a day. Please listen to me. You can and will do this. I stopped but not soon enough. Please don’t be me. Do this now. Please. I’ll help you anyway I can. We all will.
We will all help you as much as we can. Don;t plan to fail....plan to succeed. You CAN do this. We all did and we are no different from you. Most of us smoked for many, many years as well.
Welcome to EX. We are all here for each other.
Hang on tight. I smoked for 52 years. I quit with the help of this site 5 1/2 years ago. It takes a while but when you get there life is so much better, breathing too. You can do this.
Hi And Welcome to Ex’s
Donot think about failing as much as gaining your life back by quitting the smokes. WE have all felt the same and it is because we are addicts. We hid all our emotions behind the smokes. This isn’t easy, but it is doable. Take it a “step at a time” by going and reading and preparing at My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX . There you will have make a quit date, in which you will plan for that day like no other. Also, keep close to here for support and read the blogs. You can do this...I was you 131 days ago...~ Colleen
Welcome and chin up. Dry your tears and know that WE CARE and WE WILL SUPPORT YOU.
I failed so many time I should of received an academy award for them! Seriously.
Read the above suggested material, especially Alan Carrs book. It is a super fast read and it was KEY for me anyway.
Read the many blogs here on this site and stay near us. Keep us in tune to how your doing .
You can do this and we are here for you!
I smoked for 50 years and celebrated 1 year smoke free recently. Seeing quitting as one day at a time, not forever, eliminated the fear for me. If I choose to smoke tomorrow, I can. So there was nothing to fear. Tomorrow now becomes day one, and so. It isn't easy for all of us at first, but we still did it and so can you.
Is it possible that you might be thinking that it should be easier to quit? Most quitters I've met go quiet about quitting, get a far off stare--perhaps they are looking back to the struggle they went through. I've heard very few say easy, peasy. Addiction to nicotine is real--addiction means keeping the drug doses coming--no stopping.
In order to quit, we have to change from I can't, to I will, to I am. And it is at first hard work, but not impossible. If you don't want to quit (but do) first, please take some time to learn all about nicotine dependence and about what your treatment options are. Ex is here for you and will continue to be.
Welcome...I don't think it was easy on everyone, it certainly wasn't for me.
You may misunderstand, those who struggled successfully (thusfar), state this is hard, but doable!
Personally, and I have said this before, 'they' didn't realize...I personally struggled painfully...more than the thousands on this site had ever experienced...see it was all about ME.
Well...after 40 some odd years, I'll be celebrating 3 years of being smoke free, and really it feels awesome!
Do I have stress in my life..YES...does having a cigarette solve the stress...NO!
DO I think of 'just one'...YES...but I'm in controll and reaching in my bag of tools if needed, that mind thought disappears much more quickly than in the beginning.
I don't think any of us said it was easy...but YOU can do this, YOU can be in control, YOU can become Smoke Free!!!
Stay close to this awesome site, it is an incredible lifeline to your freedom of this addiction.
I don't think it is easy to quit and the mind likes to play games telling us WE ARE different than others and we CAN'T Quit! Not true. It isn't easy and it is a lifetime commitment. We are in this together and supporting each other always!! Hugs to you!!
All that "seems" is not necessarily true. If it were so easy for people to quit there would be no 6% Club (statistics show only 6% on average of quitters maintain their quits for over a year.)
Education and support will help set you free. I smoked a pack and half for 35 years. With online support I was able to overcome this nasty addiction. It was not easy at all. But I learned how 13 years ago. Quitting is a Skill that CAN be Learned You can do this. If we can, you can! Believe it!
If it were easy to overcome any addiction, they're wouldn't be addictions! Celebrating my success!
Education about this addiction, support from others who have been where you are, and your own commitment will get you there. I, too, smoked for 47 years and I did a LOT of irreversible damage to my lungs. I used smoking to handle everything...every emotion, everything painful in my life, EVERYTHING. Once I got so sick that I really did not think I was going to survive, I knew that I could never pick up another cigarette. I could not be active on ex for the first week or so because I could not even sit up for more than a couple of minutes at a time. I have now been smoke free for over five years...at the beginning, I came to EX every morning and every evening and sometimes, when I COULD, in between. Instead of smoking, I read blogs, I read everything that was recommended, I ate Sour Patch kids and I drank gallons of water, when I was able, I exercised AND I accepted, unequivocally, that smoking never did anything FOR me, only TO me. It did not make me happy if I felt sad, it did not relieve stress, it CAUSED it, it did not help with pain, whether it was physical or psychological, it did not take away anger, the only things it DID do were to stuff my feelings so I did not learn to deal with them and it destroyed my lungs.
Please remember that no crave ever killed anyone but no one can say that about smoking. Make your plan, set your date, stay close to this site, read everything that is recommended. You CAN do this, believe in yourself. Recovery from addiction is one day at a time, sometimes one FEELING or one MOMENT at a time.
I stumbled a lot, but in December, I stopped trying and just quit.
It wasn't easy, but it is now. I'm still not sure what changed for me, but it did. You can do it too.
Read Allen Carr's Easy Way. It's a life changer.
Old thread but really hits home.
17 days and it's one bad day after another. Reading how it's all about attitude, get out of your head, let the struggle motivate you - all so well intentioned and advice that has undoubtedly helped many - just makes me angry and bitter. So many people suggesting Allen Carr's book as a "lifechanger" when I found it useless at best and condescending at worst highlights the feeling that I am completely alone in my quit.
What helps others - endless miles of walking, gallons and gallons of ice water through a straw, hours of counting breath after breath - all useless in ending this tightness in my chest and feelings of endless withdrawal.
The fact that I'm sure it's my own bad attitude making it worse makes me feel that much more alone. How is it I'm the only one 100% committed to not smoking - it's not even an option for me - who can't seem to get some positive of any kind out of the last 17 smoke free days...
Miserable but committed. Through all of this, there is a 0% chance I'm going anywhere near a cigarette.
I am not sure I know anyone this has really been easy for, it certainly wasn't for me. I have more than six years now after smoking for 47 years. I had to quit because of COPD, even had the upper lobes of my lungs surgically removed back in 2015 because they were so damaged. I am always short of breath, I am always tired, I used to read blogs and people talked about how much better they felt after only a couple of weeks. There is way too much damage for me to be as active as I would like to be. I am very grateful that I have been able to quit and stay quit. I came to this site every morning and every evening when I first quit and now I still come as often as possible. Many people here have gone through unthinkable losses and still remained quit. For me, it helped to completely accept that smoking never did anything FOR me, but it sure did a lot TO me. Take it one day at a time or one FEELING at a time and accept that it takes time to really start to feel the effects. I don't know how long you smoked but please be patient with yourself and try to do things to keep busy. Listen to music, draw, read, find a hobby to concentrate on INSTEAD of not smoking.
Best to you,
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