Thought it would be easier by now!

Discussion created by oliviaroko on Apr 7, 2019
Latest reply on Apr 8, 2019 by Karine

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Ok folks - 18 days and counting. Made it through the first three days. Made it through HELL week. Made it through week two and I am staring down week THREE... and I am grouchy, irritated, hungry, annoyed, bored and generally a total mess!

Small irritations like messes in the house send me into a flying rage! I can't sit still for 5 minutes! I eat every bag of chips that crosses my path! I am so bored I could cry! I am wondering what is wrong with me! I feel alternately exhausted and that I could run a marathon!

I thought that some of these things would subside by now. I am reading other blogs and websites and thankfully there are people out there that are saying that it is still hard a few weeks in..

When does it get easier? The actual cravings for a cig/vape have subsided dramatically - I only even think about it 3 - 4 times a day now, which is great. However, it is replaced with an insane restlessness that I can't quite itch.

When will this insane irritation finally go away??

Outcomes

13 Replies

Youngatheart.7.4.12 Apr 7, 2019 8:53 PM
Your body (and mind) are adjusting to life without the drugs......and each person is different in the time it takes for these adjustments to take place.
I can't tell you WHEN - but I can tell you that it will all even out eventually. AND - the freedom gained will be worth every minute of discomfort you are now experiencing - I promise!
Nancy
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anaussiemom Apr 7, 2019 10:12 PM
Unfortunately we have to give things time. (me included). Not an easy feat. But, we can do this! Right?! Yes we can.

Someone suggested getting down on your knees and pray... It is working for me sometimes just a few moments at a time. Restless yes. Being productive not to much. Breathe....Is what I tell myself, and meditate for 3 minutes. Breathe L-O-V-E in. Expel the 4 letters out. Helps so much no cure all. I need some karate classes, think I will enroll. I have nothing to loss but wasted time, being restless.

Hugs.
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Giulia Apr 8, 2019 1:11 AM
I know. I know. WHEN DOES IT GET EASY?????? It takes more than 18 days. Expectations, Timelines and the Reality YOU Create You just have to be willing to hang in until it does. https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/positive-affirmations-and-support/blog/2017/10/24/its-gonna-be-okay
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sweetplt Apr 8, 2019 7:53 AM
You are early in your quit, it takes time to feel good in your new quit skin. We make our own happiness, but right now nico is wanting you back. It is trying to convince you, you were happier with him...Check out meditation/mindfulness on computer. The daily practice can bring peace and a sense of relaxation. You have 18 days quit, be proud, that is wonderful. Han in there and this too shall pass. ~ Colleen 126 DOF
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crazymama_Lori Apr 8, 2019 8:24 AM
Here's a little slice of my craziness https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/newbie-quitters/blog/2017/03/01/new-members-welcome Know that you're not alone and believe it or not what you're going through is perfectly normal. I always think of it as your brain is ticked off at you right now. You were feeding it nicotine, creating dopamine and the world was fine. Now you're not and it's not a happy camper. As all those receptors gradually die off, you'll notice the things you're feeling now will drop off one by one. The video in the above link explains some of this
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Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Apr 8, 2019 10:13 AM
Great answers above so I don't have much to add except that I found it helpful to replace my smoking times with other things I found enjoyable so I wasn't bored. Painting, yoga, playing with the grandbabies, volunteering in the community...I did a lot to stay active so I wasn't bored When you remove such a big part if your life like smoking, you find you have so much more time...Sometimes too much at first. Take a class, learn a language, garden, make a new friend. Anything is better than smoking. Btw, most of us smoked for years so it takes time to physically and emotionally heal from that. Give your body and your brain the time it needs to heal.
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Marilyn.H.July.14.14. Apr 8, 2019 10:46 AM
I really can't add anything more than what's been said above me oliviaroko, it definitely takes time to get to that point where you realize how much better life is as an EXer BUT if you stop and think about how many decades you smoked and that every blessed thing you did was wrapped around the smokes but thankfully it's absolutely going to get easier and easier with time under your belt aaah wow I remember only too well my moods being all over the place , deep breaths and keep moving forward stacking up those precious DOF - Days Of Freedom so each evening you can say YAY for another Day WON. ....
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elvan Apr 8, 2019 12:46 PM
WOW, you have gotten great advice above. I have to tell you that I actually laughed out loud when I read "Thought it would be easier by now." NOT because I am insensitive to what you are saying but because I wrote a blog very, very similar to this one at 13 days. Honestly, I smoked for 47 years and I expected to feel better by 13 days. All I thought about was NOT SMOKING. I kept reading blogs written by people about how they knew this was their "forever" quit...I so longed to feel that way. I certainly had many reasons to stay quit...starting with my health...I had tried many times in the past but I had never gotten quite as sick as I did this time. My husband is a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for over 34 years and he quit smoking over 29 years ago. I KNEW it was not easy for him so I asked him if I was destined to spend the rest of my life thinking about NOT smoking. He told me what anaussiemom passed on to you. He said to get down on my knees and ask God to remove the mental obsession. He told me that I might have to do it more than once and that it would not work if I just said it and didn't get on my knees. I will admit that I was more than a little skeptical but I was also more than a little desperate. I DID it, I got down on my knees and I prayed...I had to do it more than once but not over and over and over again. I really DID actually feel something change. I came to this site every morning and every evening and I read and read and read and I paid attention to any advice given to me. I sucked on Sour Patch Kids, I drank GALLONS of water and I was never a water drinker, I played computer games, I drew pictures, when I was finally able to exercise, I began slowly and worked my way up. I found that the dopamine I was craving was released when I worked out, it was released to the point where I felt better and better. It really is worth it. If I could tell you when you will feel that it is easier, believe me, I would. It is different for every one of us. Stay close to the site...READ everything you can find about nicotine addiction, go to whyquit.com and any other sites you can find for support. If you stay with your quit, it will grow stronger and stronger and you really will reap the benefits of being an ex smoker. It takes time and I know how short your supply of patience may seem. If you can do some vigorous exercise...try that, you might find that the craves pass and so do many other symptoms. There will come a time when you will be surprised that you did not think of smoking for half a day or a whole day or after a particularly stressful event. It's a journey and it cannot be sped up, there are no short cuts. Congratulations on your beautiful 18 days, good for you.
Ellen
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cob321 Apr 8, 2019 2:13 PM
You are going through a kind of hell. Essentially, your brain chemistry is all kinds of messed up from smoking, and despite the trite quitsite-type messages that the nicotine is out in 3 days and then you have a few cravings left (whatever), your emotional and psychological perception of the world on the quit is totally altered and shifted, and that will take time to normalize. I'm on day 34 and while there have been some improvements, I am by no means done with this sh** yet... The fulfillment and energy from initially stopping does give way to the seriously uncomfortable emotional experiences. I have found having some way to look at this that is logical and undeniable helps. For example: every bag of chips or meltdown is one step closer to freedom and life (and we have to trust believe the ones who have gone before us because in this state it's near impossible to feel that ourselves!), and if we pick up and smoke, not only do we have to start the madness all over again, but we are back to imprisonment and one step closer to premature disease and death. Can't argue that. All you can do is make a choice moment by moment, and accept that it's f-ing rough at present. It's survival right now - you're 2 miles offshore, alone and exhausted, you want to give up and just drown - don't! Make another stroke towards shore, and then another - get through another second, minute, day - if you do, you will get there. Don't give up today. Just today.
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Karine Apr 8, 2019 2:57 PM
I feel you! I am on Day 17 and had to go back and bookmark When Does it Get Easy! I guess when does it get normal would be appropriate too. I too am restless but not motivated . I have energy but don't want to do anything . I am focused and unfocused all at the same time . I love how I feel when I breathe though really love it . Maybe its the waves of cravings that Giulia has mentioned that are beating me down as in fighting them or arguing with them or beating the urges back. I do not want to smoke . Not an option. But I do understand how you feel oliviaroko . I am willing to feel uncomfortable if that is what it takes to protect my quit and stay quit .
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oliviaroko Apr 8, 2019 3:03 PM
Thanks everyone - SO MUCH - for this incredible wisdom and your reflections. It is amazing - like a few of you said - we need to trust the ones who have gone before and made it. One day at at time.... I am grateful that I can feel this crazy because it means I am slowly healing and changing. I remember when I first got sober from alcohol - there were days I would just lie there in paralysis and fear and just excruciating internal pain - but it was all in service of getting better and I used a tool of curiosity to get through the days.. I would say "Let's be curious about how today will be different without booze..." and I am try to apply the same thing here. But it doesn't mean it is always easy. It was hell - and what did Churchill say about it - "If you are going through hell, keep going". It is hard to ride all of this out - I KNOW it will pass - I know it in my mind. It helps to come and read about everyone's experiences because it truly makes me realize WHY I feel the way I do, that it is normal at this stage, and that things get better!!
With many blessings for all of you and thank you!!
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- elvan @ oliviaroko on Apr 8, 2019 3:11 PM
  CONGRATULATIONS! You are doing this!
  Ellen
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- Karine @ oliviaroko on Apr 8, 2019 3:18 PM
  Paralysis! oliviaroko you hit the nail on the head for me. I guess for me cigarettes have precious to me. I too am sober and even though when I gave up alcohol I drank tea lots of tea and when I became emotional , I just thought wow that must be because i stopped drinking . Almost 4 years sober . 30 years no hard drugs and that too was hard. But his is a whole other layer of hard. Lets get curious about this life without cigs. I like that and so happy you posted because you helped me too
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Thought it would be easier by now!

Outcomes

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