Hello! I am new on this site and having a little bit of a tough time navigating it. There's so many people on here! Under groups it looks like many have not been active for years. How do I join a recent, active group? Like most of you, I've quit many, many, many times. It's almost a weekly thing for me. I am to the point that I am so PISSED and fed up with myself, something has to give. I HATE smoking. It is by far the #1 thing that just kills my self esteem. I have a 9 year old daughter who is on to my closet smoking. Why do I go outside for so long taking out the trash? I'm out there a lot longer than it takes to throw a trash bag in the trash! I know she smells it. I also have an 11 year old son who has confronted me, and I just lie. Ugh... sucks. My biggest regret in my entire life is the first cigarette I picked up. I have a few good friends and a sister who knows I smoke (one friend and a sister who will smoke with me!), but other than that I hide it 100%. I have found myself not going places I've been invited to with my nonsmoking friends b/c I just want to stay home and smoke. I have quit before, up to 3 years one time. It's stress, boredom, a learned behavior over many years. Why in my head do I see myself different but I can't stick to my decision to get there?
Looking forward to meeting some folks in the same boat. Please let me know you're out there!!!