I had about 200 butts that I was saving till my check comes in and I threw them away. I know I'm still addicted and this is more than just a filthy habit but I'm so tired. I'm tired of waking up and letting 5 or 6 cigarettes be my morning upper, my daughter asking me to quit because the smoke gets in her eyes, the filthiness of tossed cigarettes and staring at an ashtray full of wasted time and money nifotine delivery devices, I'm tired of panic attacks--the feeling of dread that comes when I know I don't have enough, I'm tired of letting it control my life, I have spent milk money on cigarettes, I have searched for butts on the side of the road, I have picked them out of store ashtrays (secretly) I have stunck up my mom's car with them, I have smoked around her and in her house even though she has had a breast cancer scare. This is my last attempt, my quit day is today and I pledge to never take another puff.
