Gwenivere

Irony

Discussion created by Gwenivere on Mar 4, 2019
Latest reply on Mar 5, 2019 by sweetplt

It amazes me that I’m doing this great thing, but I feel so bad.  My thyroid, pain, digestion, sleep,  personality, depression and anxiety are worse.  The only thing that is better is not needing the oxygen as much as I did.  This morning I had a vertigo attack where I literally could not control my balance and my eyes were 'jiggling', couldn’t control them.  It was terrifying.  I’ve had dizziness, but this was way beyond that.  Plus felt very nauseous for a long time.  I tracked how much nicotine I used yesterday and it was 10mg between 16 hours on the 7mg patch and 3 2mg lozenges.  The vertigo may be coincidental as it was upon waking.  I’ve had conflicting diagnosis for ear crystals and hypotension.  I’m going into my third month cig free ad so discouraged.  I’m not tempted by cigs.  I just wish I felt a little better for the hell this has been.  It’s also making me feel the longing for my deceased husband.   Some reason to keep fighting.  I know many have very tough situations themselves.  I’ve just never had to fight so much alone and I do mean that literally.  I’ve lost the option to smoke again too with the oxygen.  Just needed to whine today.  Congrats on sticking it aren’t going to help today.  Just glad I can say something somewhere.

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