What Defines A Person's Worth?

[minihorses]

Many of you know that I have a 26 year old son with Asperger's Syndrome ('High Functioning' Autism).  He is VERY intelligent but functions at about a 14 or 15 year old's development.  After 13 years of waiting he finally got CAP/IDD funding  (Community Alternatives Program for people with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities).  He just got a case worker who is helping him function outside of our home working toward an independent life.  We both love this new helper to death.  He is so good with my son and my son started to actually talk to him a bit on their first day out together!  That's unheard of for him.

Yesterday my son asked me if he deserved to get the funding.  What made him worthy of having help over someone with more severe autistic disabilities?  I tried to explain that it was finally his turn and he was worth the services because he needs them to be more self-sufficient and maybe got a job and live away from home someday.  He said that doesn't mean he is worth the funding.  All the love, hugs, pride, I showed him didn't answer his curiosity.  He also didn't believe that his worth is based on who he is on the inside.  So I looked up worth in the dictionary and got this:  

Worth is defined as "the value equivalent to that of someone or something under consideration; the level at which someone or something deserves to be valued or rated by what and how much a person does".

Obviously this is not the definition I want to convey so if anyone has a good, simple answer I could use or incorporate into my explanations please post so I have a better answer for him.  Thanks, I can always count on you all for a great myriad of possibilities and thoughts in everything, not just helping me become a proud EX-er.

[Sootie]

No one can give you the “right” answer for this minihorses‌……….but,  if this were my child asking, here is what I would say………….

Everyone is “worth it”. Just because you received this funding does not mean you are more or less worth it than anyone else.  The world is often not fair….and that will affect you some day (probably has already). But today….the fair/not fair was in your favor. Use what you have been given to do the best that you can so this gift-------that someone else did not get-----is not wasted on you.

God bless you and your son. You are both worth it.

[anaussiemom]

  Allow yourself to feel contentment, no matter what.    

As you let go of the determination to acquire more, your new views will change the world you’ve known. You’ll find that the experience of inner peace becomes your true gauge of accomplishment.   ~~Wayne Dryer


Hugs

[YoungAtHeart]

His value is equal to the value of all others with like attributes and failings.  He is just as deserving  as all of the others who applied for help.  It was simply HIS turn to receive it.

or:  he was in line with everyone else who applied.  He just got to the head of it?

Just my thoughts!

Nancy

[Christine13]

Worth is how well we do with the things life gives us, in spite of our circumstances.  Worth is believing you are doing the right thing to overcome the obsticles in our life.  Worth is love not just money.  It was his turn to be picked.

[sweetplt]

I believe minihorses we are all worth the best in life...especially when we "try" and live up to our purpose.  I know you and everyone here is so "worth" the quit...and I wish only the best for your son...God bless you both...~ Colleen

[Beck37]

“We're all human, aren't we? Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

[lqsi12]

Wow, what your son must deal with is well beyond my comprehension, and to ask such a question of himself !  My perception of worth is you're loved by God, so anyone and everyone is deserving of special treatment, which is dependent upon God's will.  

[Giulia]

Why not turn the tables on him and ask him what does he think would make him feel "worthy" of receiving it and how would he go about achieving that?  Would "paying it forward," make him feel that way?   I have a friend who's son has Aspergers who became an advocate: jesseasaperstein   Maybe the reason he's been given this opportunity is that there's a higher plan for him.  And this is just a stepping stone?

[minihorses]

Good suggestion but not doable for many people on the autism spectrum Asperger's.  Therefore he doesn't know what he feels about anything , it's sad to watch because he is truly a sweetie but the brain to mouth pathways are disconnected.  He can't think of responses and actually gets mad at himself for being so stupid.  He's been with me when I have paid something forward, so he does understand that.  He is an agnostic as are my husband and youngest son.  I'm the only Christian living here but that doesn't mean I haven't bestowed the values, prayers, and how to be more equipped on this crazy planet.  Besides, I still haven't gotten him to listen to music by ANYTHING other than some crap from Japanese anime cartoons, tv shows  and video games . Although I did catch him dancing around the kitchen when a song by Ghost came around.