Feeling Sad

Discussion created by sandi8 on Aug 31, 2009
Latest reply on Oct 12, 2009 by patricia6

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Well i have 169 days in and all of a sudden i don't even care if i relapse or not, well that cant really be true or i wouldn't be writing this would i. I cant get over this sad feelin that has hit me since friday. I'm thinking why not have a cig , but it wont help me feel better just worse . I do want one . i have been using all the things that was got me this far but one thing that did help is not around anymore and never will be again. One minute i am fine the next i am crying . this is driving me crazy, i dont even know what i am sad about
I will be smoke-fee just wanted to get this off my chest i do miss smoking , man i am crazy how can i miss something that will kill me/. Maybe that is it .

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ctm Aug 31, 2009 6:12 AM
WAY TO GO for coming here Sandi.

Sometimes I think I don't care, but I really do and I would be beyond pissed off at myself if I smoked.

My theory is that when we are felling down in the dumps and want a shot of dopamine, we remember how easily we could get that shot by smoking. It's not worth it though.

I'm proud of you for staying the course :-)

(((((Sandi)))))
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Giulia Aug 31, 2009 9:22 AM
I know. Sometimes when we have a bout of depression nothing seems to matter. And THAT's even more depressing. Sometimes it just gets hard to keep on fighting all the time. Whether it's the fight to remain smoke free or be upbeat, or be the strong one, or....you name it. And sometimes we just feel lonely. And sometimes we cry for no reason at all.

I miss smoking at times too. But I'm not gonna start again. Quitting costs too much emotionally to ever allow myself to go back to day one. We ALL miss this thing that will kill us. We're all crazy in that way. That's called an addiction. Yup, it sure is.

You just hang tight. The blues will pass. The sun will come again. And Betty will be ridin' her scooter winking at all the guys she passes along the way. And YOU will remain happily SMOKE FREE. Ya got that??!!!
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barbara42 Aug 31, 2009 9:34 AM
SANDI, I am feeling sad today, it is the 20th anniverary of my first husbands death, the father of my children and my first love, i will never get over it, i know about feeling sad, but you and me, we went through hell to quit smoking and nothing can or will make us go back, we will get over this sadness my friend, hang on!!
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spunkie Sep 1, 2009 2:58 AM
Sandi I am so sorry things are this hard for you right now but remember even this will pass .. remember the first days of your quit never though you would get though it and you did and made it to 160 days that is wondeful sounds to me like you are depressed maybe talking to a doctor about your feelings would help and be sure to keep posting here and let us know each day how you are doing that way things can't get out of hand your were smart enought to come here so keep on coming tell us anything we are here for you.. (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

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spunkie Sep 1, 2009 3:01 AM
Barb I just wanted to tell you I am sorry for your loss and what you are going thru right now (((((((((((HUGS))))))))

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spunkie Sep 1, 2009 3:02 AM
Girls my little smiley is trying to get the point across even when we are sad we need to find happiness.
here is just one more Happy Tuesday you need it.

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whatever48 Oct 12, 2009 4:12 AM
Oh this is so how I am feeling..I realize that I ride my son's, who struggles with heroin addiction, rollercoaster and right now he's on a downward spiral......I'm so frustrated, and my sadness with his addiction seems to make my own struggle worse but it's been 43 days and i don't want to lose it, I DON'T WANT TO SMOKE, so what is wrong with me.....why can't I stop thinking about cigarettes, there is some disconnect in my brain.... so instead I sit here and cry like a sobbing mess and am trying so desperately to hold on but I do feel weary....
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patricia6 Oct 12, 2009 9:17 AM
I have just started on the long haul and the depressing moments are surely never going to go away either way. So just do something differant about it. Like, hey, really look at how you are feeling and go into it fully. In the book WISHCRAFT the author recommends a journel of just vetching and complaining. nothing else. She says that it is throught that negative comeserating that is not as much fun alone as it is with others, is actually a way to release the junk we think. Then you can look at your own thought process another time and see for yourself what you are doing with your own thinking.
I have been very depressed over events that happened with somone that I discover I am endlessly curious about all this time later. I have tryed to talk to them about it and hoping that by doing so I would find release, redefine them in my own mind and make peace with the story that is in my head from a new look. To my surprise it went way more complex than that and instead of finding any resolution I am discovering that no matter what I do I feel that I will never get over that loss of relationship. And you know, it doesn't matter if I did or did not do that thing that we are all not doing here, and personally I do not want that in my life. I can have that control, and thank you, that is what I want. I want that. That is my objective. THat is how I want to think, and my sick ass brains are just going to have to learn somthing new, I guess. So depress away . I am not budging there sick brains.My sick brain has gotten me in enough trouble, if I think about it for a second. Why would I do anything that I know my sick brain is misguiding me on?
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Feeling Sad

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